06-12-2017, 07:22 PM
(06-09-2017, 07:16 AM)Daredevil Wrote: I have been running E2 for 460 days and I am now hitting rock bottom. Actually i am coming out of rock bottom. I have a deep fear of being powerful and this shows up in me not being assertive even though I am a big guy. I keep on having a dream of my house being robbed in the night and that someone is outside the house in my yard who is going to climb up to my window and do harm. I researched break in dream and i found this.
From the Stanford Website page on Nightmares
"We sometimes dream of someone trying to break into our home. This is often an inner psychological figure who may represent some shameful or unwanted part of ourself who is breaking into our consciousness. It is about to break into our awareness and then we will have to confront this unwanted aspect of ourself. The purpose of this figure seems to be to reflect all the worst aspects of our character so that we may become more fully conscious of those traits and accept these unwanted but vitally necessary parts of ourself. These aspects are often quite evident to those whom we live with or know us well but are hidden from our own conscious opinion of ourself and thus will appear alien and scary to us in our dreams. The intruder in the dream may represent some awareness or insight that is about to break through into our consciousness. It appears scary because it is unknown what demands it will make on us but it actually should be welcomed into our psychological house because it brings with it a gift of self awareness. Every aspect of the dream represents some part of ourself. The intruder in the dream represents some part of ourself that we have kept outside our awareness for too long and now needs to be let in. It may represent a feeling or attitude that we need to be more conscious of."
This is telling me that one of the split of fragments in my psyche is trying to come home back into my mind from the unconscious and I am deathly afraid of it. And it is true. I am afraid of unleashing my power and even though I have a plan that I have no excuses not to complete, I find ways to sedate myself through Porn and TV shows not to do it. I have 571 days left for my E2 run and i feel that this is a time where I am laying down the foundation and clearing earth in order to create a new me.
Hello
Thanks for reading and commenting in my Journal. How much time did you required for notice your change?
To become a super skilled in "Algorithms, Data Structures, OOP, Design Principles (SOLID, KISS, DRY, YAGNI, SoC, CQS), GOF Design Patterns, Architectural Patterns, Scrum, DDD, TDD, BDD, C#, JS, ASP.NET MVC, Web API" started E2 as the preparatory of MLS 5.5G for 96 days
