You guys ever wonder why some people have to do so much inner work on themselves?

[D.Ace]

I can relate to that, Zane.
Last year was a bleak period for me, I saw my dreams and expectations were crushed while I couldn't do much about it.
But then I realized that I need to take a full ownership of whatever cards dealt for me.
Lucky (though I don't believe in luck) that I didn't fall to depression for it, and here I am, mending what's should be mended and improving myself.
I found a new home here, and once again I gain momentum to go forward.
Part of the reason why I strive in learning about myself, this inner work, is a conviction that I'm gonna do and be something big. Hell, I didn't even remember when or where did I get that conviction, but it's been keeping me going.

Callings are unique to each of us, finding what we truly want and what matters most to us are often presented in a journey instead of events.
I don't know what you're after or what matters to you, but as I believe it in myself, I believe you need to keep going for it, mate.