6th of june - A brief positive note, some kind of reflection and a current assessment of my state through the chakra-framework
I have come to a conclusion that I have known, but not been able to put words on.
+ positive note But first some brief note that I went to a concert with a friend today, enjoyed the music and just was there without being worried and able to stay present throughout the whole event, and things just felt normal. And it was some great music to. This is big progress for me.
Back to the reflection: Most people mirror me, meaning they act from watching how i act towards them. Not 100 % of the time when we interact, but some more and some less. Other don't. Right now I would rather have it that they wouldn't mirror me, but hey maybe it'll become something good further along the road.
Anyway I have had problems with relationships with others partly because my mind made me almost crippled and "trapped in myself", but also because I have had problems with feeling what is "me".
The case where I have had low sense of self, and not connected to my "ego" and my "self" and in some times even had hard time to connect with my "mind", interactions with others became problematic for self-explanatory reasons. They lacked something solid, either a person (ego) emotions (self) or thoughts (mind). An interaction require opposites to function, otherwise there is a problem, it need to be something that separate people, that create friction and opposing powers.
What I have lacked is contact with myself - my ego. Therefore relationships became problematic as they was either based on emotional bonds or shared ideas or archetypes, but they lacked stability as I was lacking the stability in myself. Chakra-wise this is a blockage in the solar-plexus chakra which I now am working on resolving with my other problem areas:
Root [some problems, continuous progress]
Pain under feet, stiff legs, knee problems, have had problems with releasing energy and grounding, have become better with body-work, walks, dancing, etc
Sacral [Have been fully blocked or close to it, continuous progress, almost open]
Pain in lower back, stiffness in back, lack of ability to connect with other
Solar-plexus [Blocked, working on opening]
Low confidence and will-power, let mind rule over will.
Heart [Semi-blocked, continuous progress]
Have had emotional problems that made me "close up" but I'm working on them with exercise and going to a therapist. Also yoga and Tai Chi help here
Throat [Being totally blocked, now opening up]
Working on opening up with Tai Chi and stretches, have had problems with communication, making myself understood, as well as my inner dialog but the tension is loosening up, I had neck-pain which is becoming better, also acupuncture is helping here.
Third-eye [overactive/blocked]
Not sure about this one
Crown [blocked]
Still hard to see bigger picture, have memory problems, sometimes feeling ungrounded and disconnected. Have had some problems with mild obsessive thoughts.
I have come to a conclusion that I have known, but not been able to put words on.
+ positive note But first some brief note that I went to a concert with a friend today, enjoyed the music and just was there without being worried and able to stay present throughout the whole event, and things just felt normal. And it was some great music to. This is big progress for me.
Back to the reflection: Most people mirror me, meaning they act from watching how i act towards them. Not 100 % of the time when we interact, but some more and some less. Other don't. Right now I would rather have it that they wouldn't mirror me, but hey maybe it'll become something good further along the road.
Anyway I have had problems with relationships with others partly because my mind made me almost crippled and "trapped in myself", but also because I have had problems with feeling what is "me".
The case where I have had low sense of self, and not connected to my "ego" and my "self" and in some times even had hard time to connect with my "mind", interactions with others became problematic for self-explanatory reasons. They lacked something solid, either a person (ego) emotions (self) or thoughts (mind). An interaction require opposites to function, otherwise there is a problem, it need to be something that separate people, that create friction and opposing powers.
What I have lacked is contact with myself - my ego. Therefore relationships became problematic as they was either based on emotional bonds or shared ideas or archetypes, but they lacked stability as I was lacking the stability in myself. Chakra-wise this is a blockage in the solar-plexus chakra which I now am working on resolving with my other problem areas:
Chakra-status
Root [some problems, continuous progress]
Pain under feet, stiff legs, knee problems, have had problems with releasing energy and grounding, have become better with body-work, walks, dancing, etc
Sacral [Have been fully blocked or close to it, continuous progress, almost open]
Pain in lower back, stiffness in back, lack of ability to connect with other
Solar-plexus [Blocked, working on opening]
Low confidence and will-power, let mind rule over will.
Heart [Semi-blocked, continuous progress]
Have had emotional problems that made me "close up" but I'm working on them with exercise and going to a therapist. Also yoga and Tai Chi help here
Throat [Being totally blocked, now opening up]
Working on opening up with Tai Chi and stretches, have had problems with communication, making myself understood, as well as my inner dialog but the tension is loosening up, I had neck-pain which is becoming better, also acupuncture is helping here.
Third-eye [overactive/blocked]
Not sure about this one
Crown [blocked]
Still hard to see bigger picture, have memory problems, sometimes feeling ungrounded and disconnected. Have had some problems with mild obsessive thoughts.
