06-05-2017, 06:57 AM
(This post was last modified: 06-05-2017, 06:59 AM by Raikahoken.)
Ok so I am now on day 17 of DMSI 3.1A. I took 5 days of break from E2 prior to switching. Mostly 2 loops of Hybrid trickling stream in the day. 2 loops of US for 2 of the days in the night because no time to run it in the day. Recap of first 16 days:
Day 1:
The previous night I intentionally trashed talk a girl on tinder just for kicks. In the morning I saw she replied, and it surely was no good. In the past I would have checked it straight away, but today I felt meh why do I have to see it.
Met my FB. I was a little more free flowing being myself and talking about my ideas. There was no sexual tension before sex. When it's time for sex I quickly lost excitement after clothes were off. Almost didn't get an erection. I wasn't bothered though, just took my time, eventually did it but lasted very short. She acted more girly and submissive, putting her head on my shoulder and chest a few times. I noticed I was uncomfortable with silences, if there was silence I would try to fill it. I still wore pheromones (M3X). It was day 1 so I didn't think the pheromone module would kick in yet.
Went for dance class. The class was too easy and I was bored out of my mind. Had a few reactions, one middle aged lady practically put her crotch like 2 feet away from my face while bending over and stretching. In class they were giggling a bit about me jumping so far, but IDGAF, I was just in the zone.
On the way home a hot tinder girl messaged me first. I immediately asked her out. Her interest died down instantly. I was trying to find a way to get her enthusiasm up and not appearing needy at the same time. Didn't manage that. I noticed that I might be doing that because deep down I don't believe that she would want to go out so I sought to prove it right.
Felt more hungry.
Day 2:
Could have imagined it but my shit really smelled bad. Like, super bad. Felt very sleepy after the loops. Felt more awake once I drank some coffee in the afternoon. Felt very unmotivated to do any chores in my business. I viewed them as chores. I just spent the day watching self help videos. One thing Mathew Hussey said really struck me. His ex said he's boring because all he was was ambitious. There's nothing else. It was the exact same scenario with my ex. I want to discover other things within me that I enjoy as well other than my business.
Day 3:
Shit still smelled crazy bad. Still tired. Watched Lewis Howes's interview with Sara Blakely. Was very inspired. I felt very moved when Lewis asked her what's her definition of greatness. As I thought about my own definition of greatness, I felt tears well up in my eyes.
Day 4:
Still a little tired after doing the loops but less so. I notice people not being into self development. People want to stay the same. Last time I used to feel lonely because nobody else is on this path with me, but now I don't. Felt quite honed in on biz and self dev work. I increasingly take self dev videos as my entertainment now.
I increasingly realized the dynamics between my father and I. He was always trying to impose his way of living onto me and his family. Now that I don't follow him anymore, it feels to me like he feels he has no value anymore. I realize I might be the same way. I have an inclination to control and impose my way of thinking/living on those I care about. That's exactly what happened with the ex. Maybe I got it from him. And maybe I also impose that on myself. I want to stop that, and instead listen to what people really want to say and let them do what they really want to do, including myself.
Day 5:
Tiredness stopped. Felt miserable at work. I don't find my work challenging anymore. I was not engaged at all and it felt like such a huge waste of time. I realized the time when I was the happiest was when I worked on difficult challenges and had to come up with unique solutions using both my left and right brains. I also noticed that I perform much better with clear goals. The goals have to feel out of reach and a little insane, otherwise I wouldn't be inspired. I want to set clear health, business and relationship goals.
Day 6-7:
Started rehearsal for a performance in August. Happy to be dancing again. I was just radiating happiness. I felt attracted to a girl I used to find annoying. Found myself looking at her lips a lot. She was more friendly to me too. At night I fantasized about her.
(Getting long so TBC)
Day 1:
The previous night I intentionally trashed talk a girl on tinder just for kicks. In the morning I saw she replied, and it surely was no good. In the past I would have checked it straight away, but today I felt meh why do I have to see it.
Met my FB. I was a little more free flowing being myself and talking about my ideas. There was no sexual tension before sex. When it's time for sex I quickly lost excitement after clothes were off. Almost didn't get an erection. I wasn't bothered though, just took my time, eventually did it but lasted very short. She acted more girly and submissive, putting her head on my shoulder and chest a few times. I noticed I was uncomfortable with silences, if there was silence I would try to fill it. I still wore pheromones (M3X). It was day 1 so I didn't think the pheromone module would kick in yet.
Went for dance class. The class was too easy and I was bored out of my mind. Had a few reactions, one middle aged lady practically put her crotch like 2 feet away from my face while bending over and stretching. In class they were giggling a bit about me jumping so far, but IDGAF, I was just in the zone.
On the way home a hot tinder girl messaged me first. I immediately asked her out. Her interest died down instantly. I was trying to find a way to get her enthusiasm up and not appearing needy at the same time. Didn't manage that. I noticed that I might be doing that because deep down I don't believe that she would want to go out so I sought to prove it right.
Felt more hungry.
Day 2:
Could have imagined it but my shit really smelled bad. Like, super bad. Felt very sleepy after the loops. Felt more awake once I drank some coffee in the afternoon. Felt very unmotivated to do any chores in my business. I viewed them as chores. I just spent the day watching self help videos. One thing Mathew Hussey said really struck me. His ex said he's boring because all he was was ambitious. There's nothing else. It was the exact same scenario with my ex. I want to discover other things within me that I enjoy as well other than my business.
Day 3:
Shit still smelled crazy bad. Still tired. Watched Lewis Howes's interview with Sara Blakely. Was very inspired. I felt very moved when Lewis asked her what's her definition of greatness. As I thought about my own definition of greatness, I felt tears well up in my eyes.
Day 4:
Still a little tired after doing the loops but less so. I notice people not being into self development. People want to stay the same. Last time I used to feel lonely because nobody else is on this path with me, but now I don't. Felt quite honed in on biz and self dev work. I increasingly take self dev videos as my entertainment now.
I increasingly realized the dynamics between my father and I. He was always trying to impose his way of living onto me and his family. Now that I don't follow him anymore, it feels to me like he feels he has no value anymore. I realize I might be the same way. I have an inclination to control and impose my way of thinking/living on those I care about. That's exactly what happened with the ex. Maybe I got it from him. And maybe I also impose that on myself. I want to stop that, and instead listen to what people really want to say and let them do what they really want to do, including myself.
Day 5:
Tiredness stopped. Felt miserable at work. I don't find my work challenging anymore. I was not engaged at all and it felt like such a huge waste of time. I realized the time when I was the happiest was when I worked on difficult challenges and had to come up with unique solutions using both my left and right brains. I also noticed that I perform much better with clear goals. The goals have to feel out of reach and a little insane, otherwise I wouldn't be inspired. I want to set clear health, business and relationship goals.
Day 6-7:
Started rehearsal for a performance in August. Happy to be dancing again. I was just radiating happiness. I felt attracted to a girl I used to find annoying. Found myself looking at her lips a lot. She was more friendly to me too. At night I fantasized about her.
(Getting long so TBC)
