Another week has gone, not one of much interest.
On Wednesday I did 3+3 loops of B, different times of the day. Some girls I know looked amazed when they saw me, that combined with a surprised look.
Another one really wanted to talk with me, but I kinda disregarded her a bit. She did the put hands between legs thing, so I assume the sniper must've hit her a bit. She got herself a boyfriend because she was afraid of me, not afraid of me in a rapey way. Afraid because I probably know her better than she knows herself, and she loses a bit of control when she's around me. This girl was attracted to me months before starting DMSI. I am interested in her, but my guess is that she's not as emotionally healthy as I hope her to be...
At the end of the day, I felt disappointed, I associate DMSI a bit too much working with external validation and decided to jump back to A, I figured that there is not much use for me continuing with B. I have been lacking externals quite a bit lately, they returned after increasing the number of loops, but else it's felt like nothing at all. Like no IoIs or anywhere in that, some toe pointing but that's it. Whenever I'm in a conversation with a girl I'm attracted to, or actually, anyone at all everything just flows. Everything is on point from my side, except "pulling the trigger". But something still feels "off".
I used to have this insane sex drive like I couldn't help but visualizing girls whom I found hot to be taken by me. This disappeared after switching to B as well as after fapping.
On Thursday I got sick, still ain't completely recovered. I think it was a combination of overdoing myself with 3+3+5(A during the night towards Thursday) loops on Wednesday. And someone must've contaminated me, but things are getting better now.
I still was out on Friday as I felt better, there is this group of quite hot girls, where it seems like everyone is attracted to me. It's quite funny seeing good friends "fight" over me like that
They are still very subtle on it, as I have not shown any interest towards them. While I find them physically attractive, they're gonna have to show me a bit more in order to make me interested.
Saturday I had this strong pull towards an inner work exercise, I completed it and something clicked in me. I got all emotional and I felt WAAAAY better. Saturday I was dead, not having any energy to do anything at all, coughing my lungs out and that usual stuff when one is sick. Now I feel better after a good night's sleep and breakfast.
I know A has been working on something, and it has worked intensely these latest days. The best way for me to know if it's working on internal things is to see how much water I drink. Whenever DMSI is healing me I get dry in my mouth. So I end up drinking way more than I should because my mouth is dry all the damn time.
Ever since I switched to A from 13 days on B. Here's what I noticed: Pimples are coming back, on the "end" of B my skin was clearer than it has been since before I got into puberty. Escapism behavior is back, social interactions and aura seem to have gotten better, introversion to "counter" that though. Oh, yeah sex drive is back again. Can't wait for 3.2 fixing the "leak issue". This is probably what I feel is my worst problem together with the escapism behavior, but I suppose fapping is a sort of escapism behavior.
On B I felt energized, energized to start doing things. Start working out, and to fix things financially. IDGAF all time high. Calm, but not necessarily relaxed. I have been feeling a pull towards a specific course which is about communicating with your subconscious, in order to make it work for a specific goal. As my goal is (distantly) related to my sexual irresistibility I want to say it's caused by DMSI. Because there's no reason I should choose this course over any other course I have an interest in. This course could also help me with overcoming resistance since it's all about communicating with the subconscious and getting it on terms with my goal. The "technique" I used in order to figure out the number of loops to use, was from this course.
I'm aware that this could be said as mind-controlling, but I've chosen to continue with both DMSI and this course, as they will work for each other by my usage.
I'm doing 3 loops of A during while asleep, since Thursday night.
On Wednesday I did 3+3 loops of B, different times of the day. Some girls I know looked amazed when they saw me, that combined with a surprised look.
Another one really wanted to talk with me, but I kinda disregarded her a bit. She did the put hands between legs thing, so I assume the sniper must've hit her a bit. She got herself a boyfriend because she was afraid of me, not afraid of me in a rapey way. Afraid because I probably know her better than she knows herself, and she loses a bit of control when she's around me. This girl was attracted to me months before starting DMSI. I am interested in her, but my guess is that she's not as emotionally healthy as I hope her to be...
At the end of the day, I felt disappointed, I associate DMSI a bit too much working with external validation and decided to jump back to A, I figured that there is not much use for me continuing with B. I have been lacking externals quite a bit lately, they returned after increasing the number of loops, but else it's felt like nothing at all. Like no IoIs or anywhere in that, some toe pointing but that's it. Whenever I'm in a conversation with a girl I'm attracted to, or actually, anyone at all everything just flows. Everything is on point from my side, except "pulling the trigger". But something still feels "off".
I used to have this insane sex drive like I couldn't help but visualizing girls whom I found hot to be taken by me. This disappeared after switching to B as well as after fapping.
On Thursday I got sick, still ain't completely recovered. I think it was a combination of overdoing myself with 3+3+5(A during the night towards Thursday) loops on Wednesday. And someone must've contaminated me, but things are getting better now.
I still was out on Friday as I felt better, there is this group of quite hot girls, where it seems like everyone is attracted to me. It's quite funny seeing good friends "fight" over me like that
They are still very subtle on it, as I have not shown any interest towards them. While I find them physically attractive, they're gonna have to show me a bit more in order to make me interested.
Saturday I had this strong pull towards an inner work exercise, I completed it and something clicked in me. I got all emotional and I felt WAAAAY better. Saturday I was dead, not having any energy to do anything at all, coughing my lungs out and that usual stuff when one is sick. Now I feel better after a good night's sleep and breakfast.
I know A has been working on something, and it has worked intensely these latest days. The best way for me to know if it's working on internal things is to see how much water I drink. Whenever DMSI is healing me I get dry in my mouth. So I end up drinking way more than I should because my mouth is dry all the damn time.
Ever since I switched to A from 13 days on B. Here's what I noticed: Pimples are coming back, on the "end" of B my skin was clearer than it has been since before I got into puberty. Escapism behavior is back, social interactions and aura seem to have gotten better, introversion to "counter" that though. Oh, yeah sex drive is back again. Can't wait for 3.2 fixing the "leak issue". This is probably what I feel is my worst problem together with the escapism behavior, but I suppose fapping is a sort of escapism behavior.
On B I felt energized, energized to start doing things. Start working out, and to fix things financially. IDGAF all time high. Calm, but not necessarily relaxed. I have been feeling a pull towards a specific course which is about communicating with your subconscious, in order to make it work for a specific goal. As my goal is (distantly) related to my sexual irresistibility I want to say it's caused by DMSI. Because there's no reason I should choose this course over any other course I have an interest in. This course could also help me with overcoming resistance since it's all about communicating with the subconscious and getting it on terms with my goal. The "technique" I used in order to figure out the number of loops to use, was from this course.
I'm aware that this could be said as mind-controlling, but I've chosen to continue with both DMSI and this course, as they will work for each other by my usage.
I'm doing 3 loops of A during while asleep, since Thursday night.
