12-29-2011, 02:22 PM
last day of stage 2
lot of great but very subtle stuff going on on one hand
on the other the frustrations are outweighing the pros
frustrations
1. Bodily and mentally extremely sexually frustrated
2. Not the typical neediness but a kind of automatic and mental anger and feeling of permanent disconnection at the same time I am kind of worshiping woman-its like I see them for who I think they really are and want to have nothing to do with most of them and at the same time I just want to play with their bodies lol
3. very little drive in this set-at points it liberated my consciousness from the unconscious patter of 'getting woman' as the drive in life and I could fully focus on other things, now its kind of just has me wanting to figure out the whole 'woman' thing without any incentive
4. Approaching woman has not become easier-in a way its become harder in a way, I come across as even more of a threat now its seems.
5. guys either treat me like gold or outright come across like they feel very threatened
6. More and more seeing woman as something out there and not a natural part of my life
the only glaringly obvious pros are that I am more overtly sexual with woman, much more present and carefree, once I am actually engaged with woman I am in like flyn, and if I am alone with a woman I find attractive its very easy to escalate.
this set has me feeling a little trapped, I don't care because its part of the process but here is the trap
1.I want something badly with no actually drive to 'pursue'
2. Its difficult to focus on the reality of putting myself into alignment with bringing woman into my life-while I feel not having woman in my life is making it difficult to focus on anything else
intellectually all this seems retarded and objectively I would look at someone like myself and say 'what the fuxx are u doing, just man up or just have fun and do it' but the way this set is making me think/feel/operated feels like I am always just along for the ride and a little out of control.
lot of great but very subtle stuff going on on one hand
on the other the frustrations are outweighing the pros
frustrations
1. Bodily and mentally extremely sexually frustrated
2. Not the typical neediness but a kind of automatic and mental anger and feeling of permanent disconnection at the same time I am kind of worshiping woman-its like I see them for who I think they really are and want to have nothing to do with most of them and at the same time I just want to play with their bodies lol
3. very little drive in this set-at points it liberated my consciousness from the unconscious patter of 'getting woman' as the drive in life and I could fully focus on other things, now its kind of just has me wanting to figure out the whole 'woman' thing without any incentive
4. Approaching woman has not become easier-in a way its become harder in a way, I come across as even more of a threat now its seems.
5. guys either treat me like gold or outright come across like they feel very threatened
6. More and more seeing woman as something out there and not a natural part of my life
the only glaringly obvious pros are that I am more overtly sexual with woman, much more present and carefree, once I am actually engaged with woman I am in like flyn, and if I am alone with a woman I find attractive its very easy to escalate.
this set has me feeling a little trapped, I don't care because its part of the process but here is the trap
1.I want something badly with no actually drive to 'pursue'
2. Its difficult to focus on the reality of putting myself into alignment with bringing woman into my life-while I feel not having woman in my life is making it difficult to focus on anything else
intellectually all this seems retarded and objectively I would look at someone like myself and say 'what the fuxx are u doing, just man up or just have fun and do it' but the way this set is making me think/feel/operated feels like I am always just along for the ride and a little out of control.
1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
