Day 13, or so...: Running .flac x 2 always (trying hybrid but keep hearing some crackling noises which aren't present in masked)
Nothing unusual. The waves of energy seem stronger.
I am now more aware of my position, how I move in space, posture, walking. Can be atributed to DMSI or just me living too much on this forum and reading journals.
A tad bolder with my chances regarding girls, again, I don't know if it's the sub or not, that's why most of the things I just don't mention BUT:
- (litteraly surprised myself doing wierd handshakes, not my style) random handshakes with me smiling and also touching the shoulder of whom I shook hand with
- visited a family here which I din't know (my parents , friends with them)
- they have a ... well, 4 doughters
- doughter came down
- in 10 min I moved next to her; spoke for like 30-45 min, time flew by, we had to leave; had a good time.
Would have I Done this 2 months ago ? aaaaa, probably, big big maybe; but definetly not that open and playful.
Toughts these days:
Yeah, mom fucked me, school fucked me, not having a dad fucked me, my ex ripped me apart. Their fault ? No, well yes, fuck it, doesn't matter.
So I can cry like a pussy that I am under my blanked and masturbate at kitty porn which will end up with me marrying a low par girl with daddy issues, she'll get fat, I will cheat on her and my life will end up looking like shit.
Or, I can press stop, past is past, mom's are mom's, no matter how fucked up they are, heal, move forward, realise that everything starting from yesterday depended on me and thank *insert diety here* that I woke up and become to STRONGEST VERSION of what I NEED TO BE. Get a(or more) decent submissive girl which will know she's a woman and wet herself at the sound of my footsteps.
But for that .... that needs a man, and men are hard to find these days. They are usualy formed.
PS: Haven't fapped from 06 this month, that's 11 days. If I see a breast I will blow the load in my pants.
Nothing unusual. The waves of energy seem stronger.
I am now more aware of my position, how I move in space, posture, walking. Can be atributed to DMSI or just me living too much on this forum and reading journals.
A tad bolder with my chances regarding girls, again, I don't know if it's the sub or not, that's why most of the things I just don't mention BUT:
- (litteraly surprised myself doing wierd handshakes, not my style) random handshakes with me smiling and also touching the shoulder of whom I shook hand with
- visited a family here which I din't know (my parents , friends with them)
- they have a ... well, 4 doughters
- doughter came down
- in 10 min I moved next to her; spoke for like 30-45 min, time flew by, we had to leave; had a good time.
Would have I Done this 2 months ago ? aaaaa, probably, big big maybe; but definetly not that open and playful.
Toughts these days:
Yeah, mom fucked me, school fucked me, not having a dad fucked me, my ex ripped me apart. Their fault ? No, well yes, fuck it, doesn't matter.
So I can cry like a pussy that I am under my blanked and masturbate at kitty porn which will end up with me marrying a low par girl with daddy issues, she'll get fat, I will cheat on her and my life will end up looking like shit.
Or, I can press stop, past is past, mom's are mom's, no matter how fucked up they are, heal, move forward, realise that everything starting from yesterday depended on me and thank *insert diety here* that I woke up and become to STRONGEST VERSION of what I NEED TO BE. Get a(or more) decent submissive girl which will know she's a woman and wet herself at the sound of my footsteps.
But for that .... that needs a man, and men are hard to find these days. They are usualy formed.
PS: Haven't fapped from 06 this month, that's 11 days. If I see a breast I will blow the load in my pants.
