Having this experience, "the burn-out", have been somewhat eye-opening.
Previously I could always laugh off stuff (and maybe I should try to do so more) and pondered upon that other people seemed to be so run by their emotions, because you always could just relax and know that everything would be alright. I experienced stress at moments, but having a mind that worked, a solution or rationalization could always be made and the situation could be looked at with clear eyes. Little did I know what was waiting down the road.
Other peoples thoughts and emotions have been invasive and I somewhat lost grounding in my own experience, which damn sure is a great recipe for insanity. When the internal dialog goes silent, a big part of you goes away. And you loose track of your own perception, is this good? Is this bad? You loose your ability to "frame" a situation and therefore are afraid of putting this responsibility to someone else you don't trust. If they then judge you, you may actually think that their way of thinking about you/the situation is real and not just their point of opinion. Hence, you loose contact with your reality which is basically your ability to see things from different perspectives. Combine this with your emotions being are all stirred up, counteracting your ability to emotionally access a situation and understanding who is a close friend and who is not - ladies and gentlemen - there you have a challenge. An eye-opening hard-mode kick-ass kind of a challenge, and I'm on my way to overcoming it, day by day, part by part.
I'm probably stronger emotionally than I dare to think, but my mind is still working on some lower gear. Physically I'm not where I used to be, but what the hell could I expect experiencing this? But the development is positive, so that's a big thumb in the air. Hurray for me!
Previously I could always laugh off stuff (and maybe I should try to do so more) and pondered upon that other people seemed to be so run by their emotions, because you always could just relax and know that everything would be alright. I experienced stress at moments, but having a mind that worked, a solution or rationalization could always be made and the situation could be looked at with clear eyes. Little did I know what was waiting down the road.
Other peoples thoughts and emotions have been invasive and I somewhat lost grounding in my own experience, which damn sure is a great recipe for insanity. When the internal dialog goes silent, a big part of you goes away. And you loose track of your own perception, is this good? Is this bad? You loose your ability to "frame" a situation and therefore are afraid of putting this responsibility to someone else you don't trust. If they then judge you, you may actually think that their way of thinking about you/the situation is real and not just their point of opinion. Hence, you loose contact with your reality which is basically your ability to see things from different perspectives. Combine this with your emotions being are all stirred up, counteracting your ability to emotionally access a situation and understanding who is a close friend and who is not - ladies and gentlemen - there you have a challenge. An eye-opening hard-mode kick-ass kind of a challenge, and I'm on my way to overcoming it, day by day, part by part.
I'm probably stronger emotionally than I dare to think, but my mind is still working on some lower gear. Physically I'm not where I used to be, but what the hell could I expect experiencing this? But the development is positive, so that's a big thumb in the air. Hurray for me!
