04-13-2017, 07:47 AM
On Monday I was mentally disoriented. Like I was like "wtf am I doing" and had a huge anxiety over life in general, so while sitting on the train I took my notebook and started writing out my thoughts and I slowly started feeling better. I hung out with a friend and we talked. He's one of the few people I feel I can open myself up about, I obviously don't open up the whole part of me, but I've opened myself up to this guy more than 99% other people in my life. Had a good talk.
Next day we hung out and there were beautiful girls everywhere, and of course every of them was eyeing me. My confidence is at an all-time high, and I just stare out the girls, not in a creepy way.
I believe the healing/clearing is done. Which kinda sounds like my favorite phrase in the whole journal. And may very well be false. Why do I believe this? Well, from my understanding the emotional shield is there to make us not consciously know what's being cleared. But it says nothing about the "after effects". Such as making us consciously aware of what HAS been cleared, but not what currently is being cleared. Like I mentioned above in the journal, I've become aware of the fear I've had of hurting girls. The dream I last had, related back to me being 3-years old. Not sure that I can have had such much bad experiences before that, that needs healing/clearing but I'm not sure.
On 3.01 I had random memories popping up ranging from me being 13 years, to 6 years. Such as myself talking to myself "I look bad in glasses" or similar negative self-talk. These are things I haven't thought about ever since it left my mouth/reached my ears, and they randomly pop up while I'm using a healing/clearing sub? So having memories/thoughts about different things from my younger years, and the latest dream I had being about my grandma's death, who died of cancer while I was 3. She died before my eyes which may have been a bit hard for the 3-year old me who didn't know how to handle it, needing the healing now.
The thing that makes me uncertain of healing, is the external results. I feel like I'm running 3.01 B again. Not much (obvious) interest from women in general. But when I do see a "sniper target" she gets hit by the aura like a bomb. Spidey sense also helping me. Is this due to me having damn high standards or am I simply not done with healing/clearing?
I'm also uncertain due to the first part of this post. The random anxiety coming from nowhere. I don't seem to be needing as much food as I've been needing earlier. A lower amount of energy needed as a lower amount of energy being consumed? Or just wishful thinking
I feel like a goddamn superstar. The only thing keeping me from actually being one is my fashion and way of transportation. Aka I need more money.
I've been feeling this HUGE restlessness about things. Pulling me towards doing important work in my life. Basically designing my dream-life and the way to get there. Which is what I'm gonna continue to do after this post.
Can't say I've noticed any bad effects from running the brainwave entrainment program during night, so the plan is to continue with A until the 19th and then switch to B and re-evaluate after a week or so.
Also, the auric shield is so damn good. Love it.
Next day we hung out and there were beautiful girls everywhere, and of course every of them was eyeing me. My confidence is at an all-time high, and I just stare out the girls, not in a creepy way.
I believe the healing/clearing is done. Which kinda sounds like my favorite phrase in the whole journal. And may very well be false. Why do I believe this? Well, from my understanding the emotional shield is there to make us not consciously know what's being cleared. But it says nothing about the "after effects". Such as making us consciously aware of what HAS been cleared, but not what currently is being cleared. Like I mentioned above in the journal, I've become aware of the fear I've had of hurting girls. The dream I last had, related back to me being 3-years old. Not sure that I can have had such much bad experiences before that, that needs healing/clearing but I'm not sure.
On 3.01 I had random memories popping up ranging from me being 13 years, to 6 years. Such as myself talking to myself "I look bad in glasses" or similar negative self-talk. These are things I haven't thought about ever since it left my mouth/reached my ears, and they randomly pop up while I'm using a healing/clearing sub? So having memories/thoughts about different things from my younger years, and the latest dream I had being about my grandma's death, who died of cancer while I was 3. She died before my eyes which may have been a bit hard for the 3-year old me who didn't know how to handle it, needing the healing now.
The thing that makes me uncertain of healing, is the external results. I feel like I'm running 3.01 B again. Not much (obvious) interest from women in general. But when I do see a "sniper target" she gets hit by the aura like a bomb. Spidey sense also helping me. Is this due to me having damn high standards or am I simply not done with healing/clearing?
I'm also uncertain due to the first part of this post. The random anxiety coming from nowhere. I don't seem to be needing as much food as I've been needing earlier. A lower amount of energy needed as a lower amount of energy being consumed? Or just wishful thinking
I feel like a goddamn superstar. The only thing keeping me from actually being one is my fashion and way of transportation. Aka I need more money.
I've been feeling this HUGE restlessness about things. Pulling me towards doing important work in my life. Basically designing my dream-life and the way to get there. Which is what I'm gonna continue to do after this post.
Can't say I've noticed any bad effects from running the brainwave entrainment program during night, so the plan is to continue with A until the 19th and then switch to B and re-evaluate after a week or so.
Also, the auric shield is so damn good. Love it.
