04-04-2017, 04:20 PM
Today I have a headache. It started soon after I got out the gym. It's worth noting because it's been awhile. Also worth noting is that my left eyelid has been twitching frequently for the past few days. It's not a wild twitch or anything. I can feel it though and I've seen it when I looked in the mirror. If I blink when it happens it's not even visible. Still worth noting. I read that it could be sign of tiredness, but physically no I'm not that fatigued. My gym performance is steadily improving. I can definitely say that mentally, yeah I am tired. Not that subliminals are mentally exhausting me, but just knowing what I have to do for the day and then doing it.
The girl from the gym I mentioned before, she keeps on showing up at the same time as me and my friend or shortly after. I don't like running into her because then I'm put in a situation where I either talk to her and have that not lead to anything or ignore her and then be bothered that I didn't. I hate that. My gym buddy has been trying to get me to talk to her, even offering $20, but I told him no because I don't want to add anything else to the emotional plate that needs to cleaned. I have enough to deal with and get over as it is. Sure, maybe if this had happened a few months ago, I'd think she was a manifestation just showing up for me, but I'm not falling for that again! Any manifestation of mine better make it crystal fucking clear up front, not some sorry guesswork. Anyway, my friend said he'd go for her if I don't. And the thing is, if she went for him I know I'd be bothered and even more frustrated. I keep hearing that girls and guys are practically the same when it comes to things like sexual desires, fantasies, and drives. I couldn't disagree more. I've met like only 1 girl in my life that even comes close to having the same desires and drives as me and I'm not physically attracted to her. Sometimes I wish there was just a fucking checklist you could look at for each girl and if you had what was on the list or you acquired what was on the list, boom you get the girl. That'd be fuckin simple and straight forward, but no, it's nothing like that.
I'll finally get a break this summer. But sometimes I wonder if it will really be the break I need or if I'll still have to face the same god damn problems.
The girl from the gym I mentioned before, she keeps on showing up at the same time as me and my friend or shortly after. I don't like running into her because then I'm put in a situation where I either talk to her and have that not lead to anything or ignore her and then be bothered that I didn't. I hate that. My gym buddy has been trying to get me to talk to her, even offering $20, but I told him no because I don't want to add anything else to the emotional plate that needs to cleaned. I have enough to deal with and get over as it is. Sure, maybe if this had happened a few months ago, I'd think she was a manifestation just showing up for me, but I'm not falling for that again! Any manifestation of mine better make it crystal fucking clear up front, not some sorry guesswork. Anyway, my friend said he'd go for her if I don't. And the thing is, if she went for him I know I'd be bothered and even more frustrated. I keep hearing that girls and guys are practically the same when it comes to things like sexual desires, fantasies, and drives. I couldn't disagree more. I've met like only 1 girl in my life that even comes close to having the same desires and drives as me and I'm not physically attracted to her. Sometimes I wish there was just a fucking checklist you could look at for each girl and if you had what was on the list or you acquired what was on the list, boom you get the girl. That'd be fuckin simple and straight forward, but no, it's nothing like that.
I'll finally get a break this summer. But sometimes I wonder if it will really be the break I need or if I'll still have to face the same god damn problems.
