03-14-2017, 06:28 AM
On Friday I had thoughts on why I'm doing DMSI, how it doesn't directly align with my current goal(s) and that I maybe should switch sub? That 3.1 didn't seem to do its thing other than healing. Which I'm not currently after... Would say it's my subconscious arguing with me, but at the same time, it's correct. DMSI's main goals don't align with my goals. Not sure it ever will either, but none the less I'm gonna stay on DMSI until I find it more appropriate to switch to anything else.
On Friday I went to some venues, I decided I wanted to go somewhere new so that's what I did. Checked with some friends where they were going and just checked if I could hang with them. I don't usually hang with these friends as I have a "set place" on weekends I usually go.
Anyways I went to another venue before to hang out with some other friends I hadn't seen for a while, and I will continue going to that place as I liked it and the people there. Can't say I noticed a lot of the aura. There was one specific girl who caught my eye. She had a lovely face, but a body that could get "improvement". This lead me to look at her a lot, as there really are few girls who catch my interest and can keep it over an extended amount of time, this girl had a nose ring which I don't like. I seem to always find something that completely turns off the attraction, but so far I'm willing to "overlook" the nose ring, as long it goes away soon LOL. Anyways, like I said looked at her, and this caused her to look at me in return. We definitely had eye-contact from time to time and both of us enjoyed it. Never interacted with her, but I have a feeling I'll get in touch with her later anyway. Hopefully, the aura is "stronger" by then.
I had some fun but eventually, it was time to go to the other venue, so on the subway there I see a girl with a really beautiful face. But yet again the body disappoints me. But this girl has already seen me eyeing her and now she starts giving IoI's. Some really obvious ones.
I didn't care now, though, I've already "said no" and wouldn't interact with her. I arrive at the station and start walking around like an idiot who doesn't know where he's going, eventually called my friend and found the place. I sneak in smoothly and chat with a girl I've caught an interest in, while still chatting with the people in the group. There is something about her that draws me, but at the same time there's "nothing special" about her, she's a good looking girl, but it's nothing out of the ordinary. My guess is that if she were to let go of everything and "simply be" my attraction for her would be raised a whole damn lot. Seems to be like that for me with a lot of girls, where there's something about them that just makes me "like" them. But maybe to my own expectations, or due to the girl having fears, and not acting on what she wants. The whole thing just "dies out". There was a lot of body contact between me and this girl, the evening continues and I have 3 girls approaching me, which is not unusual when I'm new in a venue that I like. Can't say that DMSI had anything to do with the girls approaching me, but maybe their response towards me. Never moved forward as it wasn't appropriate nor did I feel for it.
The whole evening was full of Deja-Vu's. Like I've said before I'm experiencing a lot of Deja-Vu's that I would say I've dreamt of, and they happen some months later. Hadn't started writing down my dreams when I dreamt this though so I suppose I can't be sure... But this doesn't feel like it's the brain doing me some tricks. All the time I get Deja-Vu's there is a correlation to one thing in my life. Which I won't bring up here, but I don't think it's the brain playing some tricks on me. I really do believe I have dreams that occur a few months later.
I switched to the Masked version on Saturday as I experienced a quite annoying headache making me easily irritated. Not sure how I got through the Friday evening, to be honest. Haven't experienced a headache since. Anyways, I haven't been out a lot. I'm still a bit sick, and I don't have a lot of obligations that I have to do daily that forces me outside the house, meaning I don't get a lot of time to "check my results".
On Sunday I went out again, didn't feel any aura but I started enjoying myself and simply "enjoyed the now" instead of thinking like an idiot. Eventually, girls started giving me IoI's, hair flips, proximity, staring among some. But nothing obvious. I would say that sometime when I stopped being in my head and just started "being", the aura started "working".
I saw the first girl from Friday that I mentioned on Sunday as well, the one with a beautiful face and an ok body. Got looks from her again but didn't see her afterward and just "moved on". Like I said I have a feeling I'll get in contact with her sooner or later. And when I get these feelings I'm usually correct, I suppose this could correlate to the whole Deja-Vu thing.
Anyways, I'm going to the station so I can take the train home, and I wanted to test something out. So I stand in the middle of the walkway, with people coming and going and I start "going into myself". And I notice a lot of tension in my solar-plexus. Like how I'm not following the social norms and that I should at least move out from the walkway so I don't draw attention to myself. I enjoyed the feeling. But at the same time, this tension was annoying. I didn't like it and it proves that I do need healing/clearing.
Got interrupted by some friends so I just let it go. I went away from the walkway and it's another 15 minutes until the train goes so I just lean myself against a pillar. Time goes, people come and people go. There's a girl who's giving me a lot of IoI's, actively trying to look at me without being obviously seen. A guy comes and "blocks" her view. She moves away just to get a better look at me. I can't help but laugh at the situation and I start looking around myself.
I start dropping my jaw. Within a 10m radius, I have people in A CIRCLE of me. Sure, there's people walking "through". But during these 5 minutes that I've been standing in this place, people have moved around to be in a 10-meter radius with me as the middle point.
I can only conclude that DMSI is working for me and have started doing the whole magnetic/energetic thing where people are drawn to me. Both men and women. Now I am not talking about any real goals of DMSI. I am simply stating that DMSI is working so deep that the aura that attracts people on an "other level" is starting to come up, showing that fears and "expectation" slowly but surely are losing their grip one me. At least regarding the sexual section.
I remembered something as well for a few days ago. How I, when I was younger, didn't wanna hurt girls and the 7-year-old me (who got a lot of female attention) had the brilliant idea of "if they don't like me they don't have to get hurt by me". Which caused me a lot of trouble until these later years where I actively have been working against that thought I had when I was younger. But I still don't wanna hurt anybody. Some belief that my parents must've stirred into me. Not that it's a bad belief, but it's been hurtful towards me instead. I recognize now that I can't control other reactions and that by limiting myself from actually expressing myself completely. I've been unhappy as I haven't lived out myself, in fear of being hurtful towards others.
All I can do is express myself as best I possibly can and let others do with that what they want. Do they wanna fall in love with me? Fine. Do they wanna hate me on Instagram? Fine.
But they should not expect me to love them back, all they can do is express themselves completely as well and hope that we "click".
I shouldn't bother myself with other people who envies that I'm able to express who I am, and therefore I will now strive even more to express ME. Not limit myself by what others expect, think or anything else. Now, of course, I've gonna adapt myself to situations, I am gonna act differently in a business meeting than when I'm hanging out with friends. But I am not gonna let other people limit my ability to express myself.
Regarding pheromone optimization, I am sweating way less. Have not been using a deodorant (ugh I know) since 3.1, due to them containing aluminum but haven't really felt a need for one either. Will get one without aluminum. I smell a bit different, not sure if it's due to me sweating, but not recognizing it or simply that the pheromone is doing its thing. I smell rawer, more "intense" dare I say more masculine?
Not sure how I'm gonna use perfume together with this, but I'll try some different stuff out.
Like some users have mentioned I'm feeling tiredness, but not constant. It seems to be the "introverted personality" of me that gets tired by DMSI, and the extroverted side of me gets energized by DMSI. Not really sure how to explain it...
HORNYNESS. EXTREMELY HORNY. I relapsed on a 98 days NoFap streak. F*cking DMSI
This video explains what I'm talking about with the magnetic/energetic thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irFeWGJB6Xw
Will go back to hybrid trickling from tomorrow
Damn long post, can conclude that since I started the loops while writing and the audio finished 45 minutes ago. Of course, I've been doing other thing's as well during this time but uh, long post
Don't think I have much more to report. So this is it for now.
On Friday I went to some venues, I decided I wanted to go somewhere new so that's what I did. Checked with some friends where they were going and just checked if I could hang with them. I don't usually hang with these friends as I have a "set place" on weekends I usually go.
Anyways I went to another venue before to hang out with some other friends I hadn't seen for a while, and I will continue going to that place as I liked it and the people there. Can't say I noticed a lot of the aura. There was one specific girl who caught my eye. She had a lovely face, but a body that could get "improvement". This lead me to look at her a lot, as there really are few girls who catch my interest and can keep it over an extended amount of time, this girl had a nose ring which I don't like. I seem to always find something that completely turns off the attraction, but so far I'm willing to "overlook" the nose ring, as long it goes away soon LOL. Anyways, like I said looked at her, and this caused her to look at me in return. We definitely had eye-contact from time to time and both of us enjoyed it. Never interacted with her, but I have a feeling I'll get in touch with her later anyway. Hopefully, the aura is "stronger" by then.
I had some fun but eventually, it was time to go to the other venue, so on the subway there I see a girl with a really beautiful face. But yet again the body disappoints me. But this girl has already seen me eyeing her and now she starts giving IoI's. Some really obvious ones.
I didn't care now, though, I've already "said no" and wouldn't interact with her. I arrive at the station and start walking around like an idiot who doesn't know where he's going, eventually called my friend and found the place. I sneak in smoothly and chat with a girl I've caught an interest in, while still chatting with the people in the group. There is something about her that draws me, but at the same time there's "nothing special" about her, she's a good looking girl, but it's nothing out of the ordinary. My guess is that if she were to let go of everything and "simply be" my attraction for her would be raised a whole damn lot. Seems to be like that for me with a lot of girls, where there's something about them that just makes me "like" them. But maybe to my own expectations, or due to the girl having fears, and not acting on what she wants. The whole thing just "dies out". There was a lot of body contact between me and this girl, the evening continues and I have 3 girls approaching me, which is not unusual when I'm new in a venue that I like. Can't say that DMSI had anything to do with the girls approaching me, but maybe their response towards me. Never moved forward as it wasn't appropriate nor did I feel for it.
The whole evening was full of Deja-Vu's. Like I've said before I'm experiencing a lot of Deja-Vu's that I would say I've dreamt of, and they happen some months later. Hadn't started writing down my dreams when I dreamt this though so I suppose I can't be sure... But this doesn't feel like it's the brain doing me some tricks. All the time I get Deja-Vu's there is a correlation to one thing in my life. Which I won't bring up here, but I don't think it's the brain playing some tricks on me. I really do believe I have dreams that occur a few months later.
I switched to the Masked version on Saturday as I experienced a quite annoying headache making me easily irritated. Not sure how I got through the Friday evening, to be honest. Haven't experienced a headache since. Anyways, I haven't been out a lot. I'm still a bit sick, and I don't have a lot of obligations that I have to do daily that forces me outside the house, meaning I don't get a lot of time to "check my results".
On Sunday I went out again, didn't feel any aura but I started enjoying myself and simply "enjoyed the now" instead of thinking like an idiot. Eventually, girls started giving me IoI's, hair flips, proximity, staring among some. But nothing obvious. I would say that sometime when I stopped being in my head and just started "being", the aura started "working".
I saw the first girl from Friday that I mentioned on Sunday as well, the one with a beautiful face and an ok body. Got looks from her again but didn't see her afterward and just "moved on". Like I said I have a feeling I'll get in contact with her sooner or later. And when I get these feelings I'm usually correct, I suppose this could correlate to the whole Deja-Vu thing.
Anyways, I'm going to the station so I can take the train home, and I wanted to test something out. So I stand in the middle of the walkway, with people coming and going and I start "going into myself". And I notice a lot of tension in my solar-plexus. Like how I'm not following the social norms and that I should at least move out from the walkway so I don't draw attention to myself. I enjoyed the feeling. But at the same time, this tension was annoying. I didn't like it and it proves that I do need healing/clearing.
Got interrupted by some friends so I just let it go. I went away from the walkway and it's another 15 minutes until the train goes so I just lean myself against a pillar. Time goes, people come and people go. There's a girl who's giving me a lot of IoI's, actively trying to look at me without being obviously seen. A guy comes and "blocks" her view. She moves away just to get a better look at me. I can't help but laugh at the situation and I start looking around myself.
I start dropping my jaw. Within a 10m radius, I have people in A CIRCLE of me. Sure, there's people walking "through". But during these 5 minutes that I've been standing in this place, people have moved around to be in a 10-meter radius with me as the middle point.
I can only conclude that DMSI is working for me and have started doing the whole magnetic/energetic thing where people are drawn to me. Both men and women. Now I am not talking about any real goals of DMSI. I am simply stating that DMSI is working so deep that the aura that attracts people on an "other level" is starting to come up, showing that fears and "expectation" slowly but surely are losing their grip one me. At least regarding the sexual section.
I remembered something as well for a few days ago. How I, when I was younger, didn't wanna hurt girls and the 7-year-old me (who got a lot of female attention) had the brilliant idea of "if they don't like me they don't have to get hurt by me". Which caused me a lot of trouble until these later years where I actively have been working against that thought I had when I was younger. But I still don't wanna hurt anybody. Some belief that my parents must've stirred into me. Not that it's a bad belief, but it's been hurtful towards me instead. I recognize now that I can't control other reactions and that by limiting myself from actually expressing myself completely. I've been unhappy as I haven't lived out myself, in fear of being hurtful towards others.
All I can do is express myself as best I possibly can and let others do with that what they want. Do they wanna fall in love with me? Fine. Do they wanna hate me on Instagram? Fine.
But they should not expect me to love them back, all they can do is express themselves completely as well and hope that we "click".
I shouldn't bother myself with other people who envies that I'm able to express who I am, and therefore I will now strive even more to express ME. Not limit myself by what others expect, think or anything else. Now, of course, I've gonna adapt myself to situations, I am gonna act differently in a business meeting than when I'm hanging out with friends. But I am not gonna let other people limit my ability to express myself.
Regarding pheromone optimization, I am sweating way less. Have not been using a deodorant (ugh I know) since 3.1, due to them containing aluminum but haven't really felt a need for one either. Will get one without aluminum. I smell a bit different, not sure if it's due to me sweating, but not recognizing it or simply that the pheromone is doing its thing. I smell rawer, more "intense" dare I say more masculine?
Not sure how I'm gonna use perfume together with this, but I'll try some different stuff out.
Like some users have mentioned I'm feeling tiredness, but not constant. It seems to be the "introverted personality" of me that gets tired by DMSI, and the extroverted side of me gets energized by DMSI. Not really sure how to explain it...
HORNYNESS. EXTREMELY HORNY. I relapsed on a 98 days NoFap streak. F*cking DMSI
This video explains what I'm talking about with the magnetic/energetic thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irFeWGJB6Xw
Will go back to hybrid trickling from tomorrow
Damn long post, can conclude that since I started the loops while writing and the audio finished 45 minutes ago. Of course, I've been doing other thing's as well during this time but uh, long post
Don't think I have much more to report. So this is it for now.
