02-17-2017, 09:21 PM
I feel like I learned how to be my best self socially based on my psychology at the time. I knew what buttons to push to make myself feel good. I felt awesome for long periods of time (like weeks), with little hiccups in my confidence and happiness.
I feel like subs are interfering with this as I just don't feel the same way while on them. There have been times recently that I feel worthless. Even though I can list my value on paper, it can be hard for me to feel it a lot of the times. Mainly because I'm mentally slower than my default and I feel socially stifled because my personality and wit is noticeably hindered. Even if other people like me as I am (which is sporadic and not consistent as it was while off subs), I don't want to feel this way.
I hope that ultimately DMSI will just put those girls I'm attracted to in the position of "I must have him or forever feel the loss of not having him". I remember back in grade school I felt like that. Let's have the hot girls feel that way for a change. It would be very entertaining and I'd be pleased.
Thoughts
Shannon, I hope 3.1 really brings it on. 3.0.1 has just been a bunch of disturbing dreams and disappointment with moments of light breaking through the clouds were I feel "at default" again.
What we need is some real, powerful, unstoppable reality bending in DMSI. My reality hasn't been bent yet. Hopefully 3.1 gets a huge upgrade for that and anti-resistance in comparison to 3.0.1.
I will say this. It's clear that Shannon is working hard on 3.1. I can tell because when 3.0.1 was being developed, there were multiple updates a day on new modules being added and how he could "up the quirples". The rate of development seems to have been much more rapid for 3.0.1 compared to 3.1. Now it's literally at the point of "how do I add x to the script". The rate seems to be slower but I think this is where the gains will be bigger as Shannon is being challenged by more aspects of the script now than before. There is a sweet spot between challenge and skill where performance is best (of course coupled with rest) and I think Shannon is starting to hit it. The gold has to come at some point.
I feel like subs are interfering with this as I just don't feel the same way while on them. There have been times recently that I feel worthless. Even though I can list my value on paper, it can be hard for me to feel it a lot of the times. Mainly because I'm mentally slower than my default and I feel socially stifled because my personality and wit is noticeably hindered. Even if other people like me as I am (which is sporadic and not consistent as it was while off subs), I don't want to feel this way.
I hope that ultimately DMSI will just put those girls I'm attracted to in the position of "I must have him or forever feel the loss of not having him". I remember back in grade school I felt like that. Let's have the hot girls feel that way for a change. It would be very entertaining and I'd be pleased.
Thoughts
Shannon, I hope 3.1 really brings it on. 3.0.1 has just been a bunch of disturbing dreams and disappointment with moments of light breaking through the clouds were I feel "at default" again.
What we need is some real, powerful, unstoppable reality bending in DMSI. My reality hasn't been bent yet. Hopefully 3.1 gets a huge upgrade for that and anti-resistance in comparison to 3.0.1.
I will say this. It's clear that Shannon is working hard on 3.1. I can tell because when 3.0.1 was being developed, there were multiple updates a day on new modules being added and how he could "up the quirples". The rate of development seems to have been much more rapid for 3.0.1 compared to 3.1. Now it's literally at the point of "how do I add x to the script". The rate seems to be slower but I think this is where the gains will be bigger as Shannon is being challenged by more aspects of the script now than before. There is a sweet spot between challenge and skill where performance is best (of course coupled with rest) and I think Shannon is starting to hit it. The gold has to come at some point.
