11-28-2011, 02:45 PM
Still working my brain with this sub. Woke up tired again this morning, but it doesn't really bother me as much. But I had some things pop up today about me that brought some insight into knowing myself better.
I am really sensitive and I honestly don't know how much of that has affected me in the long run. I feel like I developed the inverse of that, cold and logical. Some guy I'm friends with in my class today needed a ride to his job because he didn't have a car. So I gave him one, it was pretty much just right around the corner, not too far. But it got me thinking, how many people wouldn't give him a ride? To me helping others comes naturally because I guess I have a lot of empathy. Not everyone I have empathy for because there are some real scumbags that walk around and try to take advantage of people. But the people that do need help, it seems I can always lend a hand if they ask. That's the other thing, I've got too much anxiety to reach out to people, but if they need me I'm usually always there. I know this might lead to some people taking advantage of me, but I'm usually careful enough and understand when I need to say no or enough. I just feel like a lot of fear and anxiety turns me into a cold and standoffish person, when I really mean well a lot of the time.
I was just also thinking of women, relationships, and dating. It seems like there is this expectancy for either a man or woman to be the pursuer in a relationship. I don't mean in the typical man approaches women scenario, I mean in the long run. I think society has conditioned a lot of people to take and take, but hardly ever give back. Sure there are girls that just want one night stands, but to keep a quality girl you have to put your 50% in. Every guy wants to be pursued by hot women because it validates the ego, being desired for is a pretty damn good feeling. But if you think of what it felt like when you wanted a girl and she played with your emotions, that's essentially what happens when a guy takes from a girl without giving back. It sucks and I don't think anyone should ever feel that way. I'm not saying make a girl the center of your life, but some guys just treat them as objects and not human beings. If she wants to be friends with benefits though that is cool, I'm just saying it's important to be aware when you are being selfish.
The best thing I can describe this as is a war. Some women and men have this stupid notion that they are the most important person in the relationship and therefore they must be catered to. It becomes a competition of who can get the most attention, sex, social status, etc. when it should be about a 50/50 balance with each side contributing to the relationship equally.
I've never been in a long term relationship, but I can see how past emotional damage can really affect how you view the opposite sex. I've never even been that emotionally hurt from a girl, but I still feel like somewhere along the line I internalized a lot of stuff that caused me to see women as a threat and treat them as an enemy.
Long post, but overall I don't ever want to be that guy that takes selfishly from a relationship. I've seen the damage some guys can do and how some women just hold onto that and pass it on. It's like a human behavior virus that's contaminated a lot of people.
I am really sensitive and I honestly don't know how much of that has affected me in the long run. I feel like I developed the inverse of that, cold and logical. Some guy I'm friends with in my class today needed a ride to his job because he didn't have a car. So I gave him one, it was pretty much just right around the corner, not too far. But it got me thinking, how many people wouldn't give him a ride? To me helping others comes naturally because I guess I have a lot of empathy. Not everyone I have empathy for because there are some real scumbags that walk around and try to take advantage of people. But the people that do need help, it seems I can always lend a hand if they ask. That's the other thing, I've got too much anxiety to reach out to people, but if they need me I'm usually always there. I know this might lead to some people taking advantage of me, but I'm usually careful enough and understand when I need to say no or enough. I just feel like a lot of fear and anxiety turns me into a cold and standoffish person, when I really mean well a lot of the time.
I was just also thinking of women, relationships, and dating. It seems like there is this expectancy for either a man or woman to be the pursuer in a relationship. I don't mean in the typical man approaches women scenario, I mean in the long run. I think society has conditioned a lot of people to take and take, but hardly ever give back. Sure there are girls that just want one night stands, but to keep a quality girl you have to put your 50% in. Every guy wants to be pursued by hot women because it validates the ego, being desired for is a pretty damn good feeling. But if you think of what it felt like when you wanted a girl and she played with your emotions, that's essentially what happens when a guy takes from a girl without giving back. It sucks and I don't think anyone should ever feel that way. I'm not saying make a girl the center of your life, but some guys just treat them as objects and not human beings. If she wants to be friends with benefits though that is cool, I'm just saying it's important to be aware when you are being selfish.
The best thing I can describe this as is a war. Some women and men have this stupid notion that they are the most important person in the relationship and therefore they must be catered to. It becomes a competition of who can get the most attention, sex, social status, etc. when it should be about a 50/50 balance with each side contributing to the relationship equally.
I've never been in a long term relationship, but I can see how past emotional damage can really affect how you view the opposite sex. I've never even been that emotionally hurt from a girl, but I still feel like somewhere along the line I internalized a lot of stuff that caused me to see women as a threat and treat them as an enemy.
Long post, but overall I don't ever want to be that guy that takes selfishly from a relationship. I've seen the damage some guys can do and how some women just hold onto that and pass it on. It's like a human behavior virus that's contaminated a lot of people.
