01-15-2017, 01:47 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-15-2017, 02:02 PM by JackOfHearts.)
First feeling of uneasiness coming in. I listened at around 15:10pm to my first loop.
Didn't feel much different after listening to the 2 loops, it's great it's only 2 loops to listen.
At 8pm I felt different, I felt like I should have stayed on DMSI A. Motivation level near 0, watching the walking dead felt very very boring and more fearful/ugly/useless than when I was on A.
It's like when I was on A there was some kind of a light filter removing 20% of the ugliness or desperation feeling that you would get from watching that kind of series. Which I didn't want to watch at first exactly for that reason. But while on A I didn't felt as much "desperation feeling" watching this series even the opposite, it felt like a great example of survival skills (Saturn/Mars). I started watching the walking dead on DMSI A so I wouldn't know how I would feel about it without being on it. It may just be a boring episode too as everyone was crying on their dead, it felt boring as hell. I never had any attachment to dead people or burying your dead or crying for someone dead, most people would describe me as cold on that, heartless. This is mostly because I believe physical death is not the end so it just feel like drama to me.
I slept at 10pm, I didn't want to read any forums, everything seems boring and pointless so I went to sleep. I usually sleep much later. Woke up 2 hours later at 12:30am. Some little bad dreams woke me up, I never had a bad dream about reviews from "Nude Alpha" which what I was thinking about before sleeping, I felt like I was fighting something in my dreams, inability to make the product work maybe or fake reviews.
After catching up that I was still half dreaming I missed again the healing version because I felt like I need more clearing, I felt bad about myself mostly, things that I should do that I don't, responsibilities, etc.
I ain't going back on it though, I'm not going back on that decision, healing can wait at least a week or 2.
Didn't feel much different after listening to the 2 loops, it's great it's only 2 loops to listen.
At 8pm I felt different, I felt like I should have stayed on DMSI A. Motivation level near 0, watching the walking dead felt very very boring and more fearful/ugly/useless than when I was on A.
It's like when I was on A there was some kind of a light filter removing 20% of the ugliness or desperation feeling that you would get from watching that kind of series. Which I didn't want to watch at first exactly for that reason. But while on A I didn't felt as much "desperation feeling" watching this series even the opposite, it felt like a great example of survival skills (Saturn/Mars). I started watching the walking dead on DMSI A so I wouldn't know how I would feel about it without being on it. It may just be a boring episode too as everyone was crying on their dead, it felt boring as hell. I never had any attachment to dead people or burying your dead or crying for someone dead, most people would describe me as cold on that, heartless. This is mostly because I believe physical death is not the end so it just feel like drama to me.
I slept at 10pm, I didn't want to read any forums, everything seems boring and pointless so I went to sleep. I usually sleep much later. Woke up 2 hours later at 12:30am. Some little bad dreams woke me up, I never had a bad dream about reviews from "Nude Alpha" which what I was thinking about before sleeping, I felt like I was fighting something in my dreams, inability to make the product work maybe or fake reviews.
After catching up that I was still half dreaming I missed again the healing version because I felt like I need more clearing, I felt bad about myself mostly, things that I should do that I don't, responsibilities, etc.
I ain't going back on it though, I'm not going back on that decision, healing can wait at least a week or 2.
