I have been having a hard time running SM consistently on this trip, but I am still seeing results that sometimes genuinely surprise me. I have noticed that I am very much the "shining star" in most situations where I am around others, as long as I am not exhausted. By that I mean, my presence is very loud - my aura is obvious, my body language is very strong, my speech comes very easily in situations where previously I would not have opened my mouth, and I notice I speak in a very loud, attention-commanding voice now - again, as long as I am not exhausted. Getting looks from women a lot more, too, and they're staring just a little too long.
Ironically, I find myself torn between finishing (restarting?) sex magnet, and stopping it to run Attract Your Primary Soul Mate. I had a realization while I was in Death Valley... I don't want just sex. I want sex to be a natural expression of physical and emotional intimacy that is an organic component of the greater whole of the relationship. Which is surprising only because I thought that while I was healing, sex alone would be fun. But, there's no kidding myself, sex without some sort of emotional connection is self destructive for me, and always has been. I wonder how true that is of other straight men, but they just don't know it because our society has taught them that they're not (allowed to/not supposed to/do not) have valid emotions.
Kinda odd, because right now, I love being single and free, and I want to travel more, but I also want a stable settled long term romantic and sexual relationship and to have some children. I can never get a break - it's always that the mind and the emotions are arguing within me as to what I want in life. lol
Off to run 11 hours driving. This is getting very tiresome.
Ironically, I find myself torn between finishing (restarting?) sex magnet, and stopping it to run Attract Your Primary Soul Mate. I had a realization while I was in Death Valley... I don't want just sex. I want sex to be a natural expression of physical and emotional intimacy that is an organic component of the greater whole of the relationship. Which is surprising only because I thought that while I was healing, sex alone would be fun. But, there's no kidding myself, sex without some sort of emotional connection is self destructive for me, and always has been. I wonder how true that is of other straight men, but they just don't know it because our society has taught them that they're not (allowed to/not supposed to/do not) have valid emotions.
Kinda odd, because right now, I love being single and free, and I want to travel more, but I also want a stable settled long term romantic and sexual relationship and to have some children. I can never get a break - it's always that the mind and the emotions are arguing within me as to what I want in life. lol
Off to run 11 hours driving. This is getting very tiresome.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
