10-19-2011, 09:35 PM
@Shannon-I hope my two week refresher course will be enough to blast me through..(?)
5 nights of listening
I am really enjoying this sub
I am having a bit of strangeness or funk
when I wake up on the sub and have to rush out of the house.
It seems I need a solid half hour after stopping the sub for everything to settle down.
I am surprised by some of the effects of this sub I feel like the dark and the light in me is really being owned and showcased front and center. I am feeling very strong in myself, self capable, and interdependent emotionally, very present at times. I am also less questioning and self doubting, and am having bursts of motivation and creativity to really make my dreams reality-even if they have nothing to do with woman. I am getting really horny at periods and completely sexually indifferent at others-and sometimes at the same time! Unfortunately I have 'sinned'
several times earlier week, as the allure of the porn was to strong AAGHH-even after having sex several times early this week as well-I think once after she left to haha. I lost one of my jobs a few weeks ago-due to a bxxxch of a manager (it was a dude so I mean PXXXCK)- and I still have my teaching job but whatever I said about not caring about losing one job I have three others-I take back-because all of them have fallen through but one-and its barely keeping me afloat-I'm not worried at all for some reason though- I'm feeling kind of excited and confident about getting new work though now-whereas before I started sex magnet-I was kind of just avoiding the issue.
I'm also feeling very inspired to get into dance, yoga, and mma classes. The first two both because I want to learn to dance respectively, yoga just makes me feel good, and there's tons of cuties in both classes and I want to put myself in environments with tons of woman. I don't know why I want to do MMA, the idea just hit me and I really feel like following through.
now that I wrote out my daily diary -here are the effects so far. I know longer believe in pro's or cons so I'll list all that is happening together
1. More self esteem
2. More confidence
3. Less self question or self doubt
4. More socially comfortable but independent
5. More Indifference to others-whether it be social grace or being outrageous
6. Generally getting very horny but also blissful-but this is triggered usually around woman
7. Feeling less and less primal anxiety (worrying about one's attractiveness and how to 'get' woman) every day
8. Feeling more and more abundance of woman everyday-even when no woman are around
9. No really sexual dreams yet (I'm kind of shocked) but at times a I drift into a daydreaming concerto of sexual fantasy and abundance
10. Becoming more withdrawn internally-even when public-while much more expressive externally when I care to speak.
11. Flirting with woman way up-our vibes just link easier and it feels like if I had certain woman alone-it would be game over-in a good way of course
12.Some strong periods of being really in my head
13. Periods of being intensely present and feeling super spiritual, and badaXX at the same time-having 'IT' .I can't really explain this feeling but its what I've been wanting to experience and become part of my character for a long time-and has made the set worth it by itself so far.
14. My body and the world seem to be slower while my mind is faster, sharper, and wittier
15. More Woman open up to me way more and really quickly and I find myself saying things that I cant believe I said
16. Periods of being extremely exhausted
17. Losing all motivation to do anything in order to get woman and gaining a lot of motivation to do things that make me feel more attractive for myself-i.e. feeling the need to natural grounding or doing mirror affirmations down to nearly zero-wanting to replace my entire wardrobe with clothes I actually like-growing day by day. Motivation towards listening/watching or reading up on seduction material-completely gone (although that declines been in the works for a while)-Desire to actually be that man who lives his life for himself and does what he wants to do no matter what-going way up
18. Increased risk taking (and willingness to confront risk), stronger desire to novelty seek
Keep in mind alot of these things feel like there growing but are not full blown 'entities' in my being,
I just really like where this is heading.
5 nights of listening
I am really enjoying this sub
I am having a bit of strangeness or funk
when I wake up on the sub and have to rush out of the house.
It seems I need a solid half hour after stopping the sub for everything to settle down.
I am surprised by some of the effects of this sub I feel like the dark and the light in me is really being owned and showcased front and center. I am feeling very strong in myself, self capable, and interdependent emotionally, very present at times. I am also less questioning and self doubting, and am having bursts of motivation and creativity to really make my dreams reality-even if they have nothing to do with woman. I am getting really horny at periods and completely sexually indifferent at others-and sometimes at the same time! Unfortunately I have 'sinned'
several times earlier week, as the allure of the porn was to strong AAGHH-even after having sex several times early this week as well-I think once after she left to haha. I lost one of my jobs a few weeks ago-due to a bxxxch of a manager (it was a dude so I mean PXXXCK)- and I still have my teaching job but whatever I said about not caring about losing one job I have three others-I take back-because all of them have fallen through but one-and its barely keeping me afloat-I'm not worried at all for some reason though- I'm feeling kind of excited and confident about getting new work though now-whereas before I started sex magnet-I was kind of just avoiding the issue. I'm also feeling very inspired to get into dance, yoga, and mma classes. The first two both because I want to learn to dance respectively, yoga just makes me feel good, and there's tons of cuties in both classes and I want to put myself in environments with tons of woman. I don't know why I want to do MMA, the idea just hit me and I really feel like following through.
now that I wrote out my daily diary -here are the effects so far. I know longer believe in pro's or cons so I'll list all that is happening together
1. More self esteem
2. More confidence
3. Less self question or self doubt
4. More socially comfortable but independent
5. More Indifference to others-whether it be social grace or being outrageous
6. Generally getting very horny but also blissful-but this is triggered usually around woman
7. Feeling less and less primal anxiety (worrying about one's attractiveness and how to 'get' woman) every day
8. Feeling more and more abundance of woman everyday-even when no woman are around
9. No really sexual dreams yet (I'm kind of shocked) but at times a I drift into a daydreaming concerto of sexual fantasy and abundance
10. Becoming more withdrawn internally-even when public-while much more expressive externally when I care to speak.
11. Flirting with woman way up-our vibes just link easier and it feels like if I had certain woman alone-it would be game over-in a good way of course
12.Some strong periods of being really in my head
13. Periods of being intensely present and feeling super spiritual, and badaXX at the same time-having 'IT' .I can't really explain this feeling but its what I've been wanting to experience and become part of my character for a long time-and has made the set worth it by itself so far.
14. My body and the world seem to be slower while my mind is faster, sharper, and wittier
15. More Woman open up to me way more and really quickly and I find myself saying things that I cant believe I said
16. Periods of being extremely exhausted
17. Losing all motivation to do anything in order to get woman and gaining a lot of motivation to do things that make me feel more attractive for myself-i.e. feeling the need to natural grounding or doing mirror affirmations down to nearly zero-wanting to replace my entire wardrobe with clothes I actually like-growing day by day. Motivation towards listening/watching or reading up on seduction material-completely gone (although that declines been in the works for a while)-Desire to actually be that man who lives his life for himself and does what he wants to do no matter what-going way up
18. Increased risk taking (and willingness to confront risk), stronger desire to novelty seek
Keep in mind alot of these things feel like there growing but are not full blown 'entities' in my being,
I just really like where this is heading.
1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
