(09-26-2016, 08:49 AM)Sickologist Wrote: Chaos is older than us, I don't think he means any harm in what he says. He's a player too, maybe he wants to change, but he can also relate to guys like me and Dzemoo, unlike most.
To answer Alpha's question, I don't mind being called or considered a player. I'd rather be a player than a bitch.
Keep in mind that when I say I want to change, that doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to forget what I've experienced. I've seen the dark side of society and it's one of those things that you just don't forget. One of the biggest struggles I'm having right now, particularly with DMSI is: Am I able to forget and forgive in regards to women? Do I even WANT to? Will "forgiveness" leave me open to some of the things that happened in the past?
And I mean that on both sides. I've done some shit that I'll take to my grave. My first real girlfriend cheated on me. Probably the only woman I've ever loved because I became incapable of real love after that. Most men would sit around and cry about their snugglybooboo sleeping with another man.
I got revenge.
Not gonna say how, but I'd probably be in jail right now if she told. The "problem" is... she became insanely attracted to me after she realized what I was capable of and for a year after that, we literally fucked EVERY NIGHT without missing a beat. It got so bad that my neighbor sent a noise complaint to the property owner.
How the hell am I supposed to believe in all the blue pill shit after that? That, when I was buying her diamond rings and making payments on her Mustang, she was fucking her crackhead boss. Then, after I did some horrendous, dark shit, she couldn't get enough of me. Squirting and cumming everywhere like it was nothing.
She lives in another country now, but comes home every Christmas. And every Christmas, she messages me, asks if I want to grab a drink. Her husband doesn't know. I always turn her down. I'm very much tempted to message her.
Like I said, we're all on the same path, just taking different detours to reach our goal.
