09-15-2016, 06:22 PM
Day 57:
Last few days have been equal parts terrifying and enlightening. It feels like LTU has clawed its way to the deep dark corners of my subconscious. I feel so vulnerable, like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and put on display.
This has been the toughest sub I've done, and I find it so interesting that a script essentially focused on feeling good about myself, being positive and happy and enjoying life is meeting so much resistance. It shows how toxic my inner landscape has been. A large part of me really doesn't want to let go of this. My identity is taking a massive beating.
Shame seems to be at the center of all this. The belief that I am bad at my very core. It's all being shown to me.
Last few days have been equal parts terrifying and enlightening. It feels like LTU has clawed its way to the deep dark corners of my subconscious. I feel so vulnerable, like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and put on display.
This has been the toughest sub I've done, and I find it so interesting that a script essentially focused on feeling good about myself, being positive and happy and enjoying life is meeting so much resistance. It shows how toxic my inner landscape has been. A large part of me really doesn't want to let go of this. My identity is taking a massive beating.
Shame seems to be at the center of all this. The belief that I am bad at my very core. It's all being shown to me.
