AwesomeYoungDude's Alpha Journal

[Patti]

AM11 Stage 6 Final, Overcoming Procrastination Final

• I found that many of the old annoying habits of my past that were thought to be long gone have re-appeared during this stage. This is very surprising and most unwelcome. The sub has instilled a desire to do only what I want, and apparently that’s what I want to do. I now have to re-quit things that have not plagued me for years. Bummer
  
• I'm finally cool with the manifesting portion of the sub. This has been a major sticking point for me over the last 6 months. It has hampered my development. I really don't like being a guinea pig. This left me with the feeling of being taken advantage of which is a primary trigger in the sub. This guinea pig mentality was an undertow in many of my axe grinding posts. Being a guinea pig also influenced my concerns with Shannon’s work with Patti. Being an unwilling guinea pig hampers progress. To say it another way, no matter how many safe guards are in, I do not want to purposely subject/expose myself to an unknown and potentially cancerous/radioactive material. Throughout AM11 my sub-conscious continued to send me messages that I should do things to reduce its effect. I see why Shannon delayed its disclosure until after the sub was completed. I would have deferred starting the sub until after others had used it. Throughout the sub I knew it was female attraction and tied it’s non-disclosure to being a guinea pig. I did not think that Shannon was pulling a fast one and programing me to destroy my marriage. I think Shannon also desires to be in a long term relationship someday. But the unknown worked hard on my insecurities and the non-disclosure was a sore spot for me. My initial anger over manifesting female attraction being in the sub is gone. I'm convinced it’s not adversely affected me. Only time will tell what its long term effects are. I see its importance in the Alpha Male progress, but I also think the sub would do better with a general manifesting component like the luck magnifier. I’m cool with the situation. Shannon, hopefully you have your data. I suggest that female attraction be removed in future versions. For some this is an unwanted component. Those that want the female attraction will follow AM11 with SM or one of the other female attraction subs. Cool that’s done......
  
• I’m convinced I would have considered AM11 a failure if I had not included Overcoming Procrastination. All the confidence in the world would have been wiped away by the compelling negative feelings of not being able to move myself to action. Shannon, I suggest that you increase the motivation portion in future versions. I watched what happened to you and others. I would have quit half way through the sub because of its undesirable effects. I have to make a living and zero motivation would have got me fired or hampered my career. James is a good example of this. I believe that the motivation portion is as important to us using the sub for non-female attraction as female attraction is for those using the sub to get laid. We want to be alphas for a different reason. Again….cool…
  
• Hitting another small patch of neediness in the final days of AM11. This occurred while thinking about a future event that will shortly occur in my life. This event was the primary motivation in use of AM11’s over Life Tune-up. Time will tell if AM11 was the better decision.
  
• Found that while cleaning the garage this weekend, to my surprise the door opened and there sat Ms AYD with a big smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. This time she whispered something quite different in my ear. [laughing to myself] The garage still needs cleaning, but now we are both a smiling. Shannon…..YOU..DA…MAN…(and apparently so am I...)
  

Shannon thanks for your work and your patience’s. I’m indebted to you and hopefully this thread will assist you in developing even better products.

Now I’m done with posting this thread. It’s been difficult and time consuming to continue to post. After posting in the testimonial section I expect to fade into the shadows. I will occasionally poke my finger in the stew to stir things up. But I’m glad to be finished with the thread.

So this is the wise OldMan referred to as the AwesomeYoungDude signing off. Good luck in your journeys.

[Fade to black]

[Cut to commercial]

Patti is NOT happy! Whatdaya mean you're not gonna be posting anymore? Weren't you gonna use another sub? And wasn't that sub suppose to be life tune up? And weren't we gonna compare notes or at least you were gonna let me know how it was working for you?????

No? haha...oh well, that must have been a conversation in MY mind! There's so many, I can't keep track!

But well done sir! It's funny how you felt like posting was more work but you are very thorough in your postings. I'm happy to see you and Shannon are friends again lol. And all in all I'm happy this was a good experience for you, even with its ups and downs.

But, pa pa pa paaalease don't leave the forum...that would make me very sad