AM6 3rd run - Sculpting solid and decisive self

[Greenduck]

Total miss hour: 10.

AM6 is digging fears inside onto the ground. A fear to be alpha. Fear of competition with others. Fear of confrontation. Fear of being center of attention.

I'm climbing up the mountain.

What were you like before any subs? After two AM6 runs how much did you change?

I'm glad that you asked, that remind me lot of things.

Before subs, I was a guy that you can view as very beta. I was very skinny, always walk around with insecure. My health were bad, I had sick almost every week. When I played soccer, I looked at other shirtless with jealousy, I could have sick if I go shirtless. I usually considered myself as the weakest guy in the room, sometimes I got bullied but never really stand up for myself.

Girls, they complimented me handsome, tried to get around me but also treated me like their little brother. They made fun, laughed at me, talk shit behind my back. I'm confused a lot and
that is a reason I was into PUA stuff, which was a wrong choice.

I had an over 7 years relationship with an ex-girlfriend. That was really a painful time. She kept telling me she loved me but was always attracted to other guy. And I was always in jealousy mode. I break up with her during AM5, it was not easy, but look back it was really good for both of us. Before I would be angry when think about it, But now I don't blame her anymore, she is a good girl. I was not really attracted to her but I started that relationship, it was like I tried to get her for fixing my problems, not actually loved her. It's my fault for not dealing with my insecure before. I must do it for myself, none of others can do it for me. That's big realization I have for myself during AM6.

For your question about my change during 2 runs of AM6, the biggest improvement is my health. Now I feel solid, strong, confident, it is my common state. I stand for myself a lot, with family, with friends, strangers who talk shit with me. I have a problem with expression before, every time I talked, there was like a stone in my chest prevent me. Now I can talk more freely, it still have a little but improved a lot, not a problem anymore.

There were many improvements, could not remember it all, and AM6 smooth it too.

Brother I feel you totally on this one, I know how tough the decision is to let go of that safety, but as you said its for the better for both.

Good luck on your journey! I will follow you