Day 40
Okay so I figured I was due for another update. The last time I wrote here I was on day 12. Now I am on day 40 of E2. It should have been 43 days so far but I was on a business trip in Latvia so I missed 3 days.
I don`t have any mind blowing results to report. The improvement I am feeling the most is not dwelling on stuff anymore. Especially in my job. Much less stress even when it is stressful. Not worrying anymore "how am I gonna get this done" and more of "I will find a way somehow". I reported this feeling once before in my journal, but I wasn`t sure if I was imagining it or it was really E2. But now I am sure.
The dwelling is not completely erased. I can feel I still dwell on some stuff in the relationship area (friends/family).
I was thinking E2 would help me in healing procrastination. Nothing so far in this area. But I have seen others report their motivation goes down on E2...Well actually now that I think of it, I did buy 2 books on how to be productive so I guess that`s an improvement. Cause I haven`t bought a book in ages. But I suspect I actually have a fear of success. So I am hoping E2 will heal that. Fingers crossed
Also, I have serious issues with my dad and was REALLY hoping it would do some healing there too. Nothing so far. I still get annoyed after just 1 minute of talking to him. I don`t feel the need to have a relationship with my dad. Just talking to him without thinking "when is this conversation gonna end so I can leave" would be great.
I know some people have been feeling depressed. In 40 days of E2 I had none of that. Days when I was easily irritated yes, depressed no. But I even when I was irritated it was like 2 days out of 40. So irritation is resistance? I am still new at this
Because other than that, I can`t even pinpoint and say "oh yeah, I felt resistance when xy"
I also noticed a friend of mine is hugging me more often in the last month whereas she didn`t before. I have met her like a year ago so she is a "new" friend. I also feel that my resentment and lets say attachment towards an old friend (we used to be best friends) has decreased which is great. It`s like I am seeing her more clearly now, how she really is, a human who is not perfect.
Also...this is quite random. I noticed I shopped for a quite a lot of dresses lately. Not that I don`t wear dresses at all, I do but not as much. And I noticed some guy wrote how E2 is helping them express their natural masculinity. So maaaybe the dress thing is a way for me to express more my femininity? Or maybe it`s just a coincidence
Okay so I figured I was due for another update. The last time I wrote here I was on day 12. Now I am on day 40 of E2. It should have been 43 days so far but I was on a business trip in Latvia so I missed 3 days.
I don`t have any mind blowing results to report. The improvement I am feeling the most is not dwelling on stuff anymore. Especially in my job. Much less stress even when it is stressful. Not worrying anymore "how am I gonna get this done" and more of "I will find a way somehow". I reported this feeling once before in my journal, but I wasn`t sure if I was imagining it or it was really E2. But now I am sure.
The dwelling is not completely erased. I can feel I still dwell on some stuff in the relationship area (friends/family).
I was thinking E2 would help me in healing procrastination. Nothing so far in this area. But I have seen others report their motivation goes down on E2...Well actually now that I think of it, I did buy 2 books on how to be productive so I guess that`s an improvement. Cause I haven`t bought a book in ages. But I suspect I actually have a fear of success. So I am hoping E2 will heal that. Fingers crossed
Also, I have serious issues with my dad and was REALLY hoping it would do some healing there too. Nothing so far. I still get annoyed after just 1 minute of talking to him. I don`t feel the need to have a relationship with my dad. Just talking to him without thinking "when is this conversation gonna end so I can leave" would be great.
I know some people have been feeling depressed. In 40 days of E2 I had none of that. Days when I was easily irritated yes, depressed no. But I even when I was irritated it was like 2 days out of 40. So irritation is resistance? I am still new at this
Because other than that, I can`t even pinpoint and say "oh yeah, I felt resistance when xy"I also noticed a friend of mine is hugging me more often in the last month whereas she didn`t before. I have met her like a year ago so she is a "new" friend. I also feel that my resentment and lets say attachment towards an old friend (we used to be best friends) has decreased which is great. It`s like I am seeing her more clearly now, how she really is, a human who is not perfect.
Also...this is quite random. I noticed I shopped for a quite a lot of dresses lately. Not that I don`t wear dresses at all, I do but not as much. And I noticed some guy wrote how E2 is helping them express their natural masculinity. So maaaybe the dress thing is a way for me to express more my femininity? Or maybe it`s just a coincidence
