06-02-2011, 10:31 AM
Stage 4 Week 4 - Week 12 Overcoming Procrastination 4G
In stage 5 I will cut back on the amount of time I listen to Overcoming Procrastination in order to see how much is permanent. If life is like this post-alpha, I'm improved, but not to the level I expected.
- Changes are subtle and appear to be refining my actions.
- My actions are more and more natural. Before I would act out alpha traits in an attempt to build a foundation. When compared to learning to dance, I was still having to think through each step. They were not natural but mechanical still somewhat clumsy. I'm feeling more and more that my actions are based on something solid. More and more my actions are flowing as a natural part of who I am. I'm trusting more and more that I'm an alpha.
- Bold in my communications. I'm maturing past the arrogance of indifference in which communication is shocking for self promotion. Boldness must have a point otherwise it’s just annoying and brash.
- Pulled to do only what I want to do. This is marked by a decrease in motivation. Alpha's do what they want to do and not what others want them to do. This is a very dangerous phase in that if not handled correctly it will lead me back to the state of procrastination. If I just sit back and let the sub do the work, I could end up back where I don't want to be. I now recognized that it’s not resistance I'm facing it’s the sub programming. Understanding this phase I will now use it to my advantage. (hopefully)
- This stage is requiring an increased amount of caffeine in order to maintain focus and motivation.
- Body posture and walk are refined and elegant in motion. They are not automatic in that I'm still aware that is occurring. With the dancing metaphor I'm starting to get the hang of it.
- Work outs have stopped. The reading of books has stopped. Annoyance with others is up, but controlled in the response. I'm more concerned about the downstream results of an aggressive jerk persona.
- I’m expecting less and less that this thread will be read due to the changes I’m seeing in myself. It’s a bother to read other threads because they are focused on different results. I’m expecting, that for the same reason I don’t read their threads, most likely they will not be reading mine, and I’m ok with that it appears to be part of AM11 to focus only on what I find important to me.
- All in all stage 4 has left me in a sour mood. I have a decrease in motivation and a general attitude I don't care about what's happening. The sourness comes from the concern that I'll be struggling with a decrease in motivation through-out the remainder of AM11. (Patti, About, those in the user area, and Shannon, I’m still reading your posts).
In stage 5 I will cut back on the amount of time I listen to Overcoming Procrastination in order to see how much is permanent. If life is like this post-alpha, I'm improved, but not to the level I expected.
