Pure focus on DMSI

[Shannon]

I have found that the best way to do approaches in situations like that is what I call the slipstream approach. Make it incidental and as a result of something innocuous. And be perfectly normal, natural and chill emotionally when you do it. Like it's just any other encounter. Because it is.

Let say, I'm in my park, reading a book then I left the park on the way out I approach a woman like this.
'Excuse me, I was just reading this book in the park and It says something fascinating about XYZ....what is your opinion on XYZ?

Will you consider this a slipstream approach ?

No. A slipstream approach isn't an approach. It's two people incidentally interacting. A slipstream approach is when two people start interacting spontaneously because of the circumstances, or because they feel sufficiently comfortable with one another. Standing in line, I might comment to an attractive woman along the lines of something that is perfectly normal and natural to comment on. You can be as casual or ridiculous as you like. I am not very good at this from a premeditated point of view, but the point is to tie one thing to another in being natural, normal, reasonable and non-threatening.

The other day I encountered a bartendress who was new and I had never met before, and she was this teeny tiny petite thing with gorgeous everything. Hair, eyes, freckles, lips, shoulders, back, legs, butt... she was physically about as close to my definition of perfect as it is possible for a human to get.

So I asked her her name, and introduced myself.

WOW! What a concept!

Then I added that I hadn't seen her around bartending before, and how long had she been doing it? We ended up in a very nice long conversation, and by the and of it I knew two things were true.

1. She was engaged.
2. She was interested regardless.

Walk over and say, "Your name is Mary, isn't it."

Say this quite matter of factly. Any woman, and you just started a conversation. If she says no, you can say, "Well I obviously suck at guessing names. I'm not Mary either. What is your name then?"

If you want to capitalize on a common name, use Jennifer or Michelle. Then she'll be impressed when you say that and ask how you knew, and you can say something like, "Well of course I'm psychic. I also know that you're female, 5'6" tall (or whatever height she appears to be) and have two eyes that you blink on a regular basis. Aaaaaaaaand, you are breathing."

Do this seriously at first and then start smiling at her playfully as it becomes apparent that you're being silly. Then say, "I bet you can't guess my name, Zelda. Let's see how psychic you REALLY are." as if she is the one who claimed to be psychic.

This of course has to be done the right way, and with the right banter and playfulness and is just one example, but the point is, whatever it is, it has to be normal, natural and reasonable for someone to do in that situation. And you have to be and feel comfortable doing it.

Asking someone their name and sharing yours is a perfectly natural thing to do. But you can't just walk over out of the blue and do it without having something to follow it. So ask her, "Excuse me, have you seen my dog?" You could take that in a dozen directions, too. "I had him in my pocket when I was sitting over here, but he's apparently fallen out. I can't find him anywhere."

I like to be silly and playful, but not all the time. The point is, do what is natural to do in that situation, and do it without making it seem unnatural.