04-20-2011, 11:20 AM
Stage 3 Week 4 - Week 7 Overcoming Procrastination 4G
The growth of a backbone came off to some as "biting the hand the feeds you." However it is needed if you believe that you are being fed BS, then, for my case, biting that hand was beneficial to my growth. As stated above once I had confronted the many issues current and past within my life, the storm lighten, and the sun started to shine again. I still have my bat senses (BS) go off at about a mile away, however, I'm getting better at not confronting until I have a better understanding of the issue. Good growth this stage.
- Asserting myself towards all whom I think don't respect my opinion, downplay my input, or are threatened by me(batman senses). Boy-oh-boy does this cause waves in the corporate world. But as Confucius say "When a frog jumps into a pond, there will be waves."
- Working on improving my assertion skills without coming off as pushy.
- My posture is changing when I'm actively participating in meetings. My right foot is forward, left back, my back is straight, I'm leaning slightly forward, fingers intertwined on the table in front of me. I'm giving off the appearance of a runner antisipating the start of a race. This will occur mostly when in one-on-one meetings or discussions.
- Aggressively defending my position. Its not the defense of a position just because someone else is proposing something different (thats just cocky), but its defending a position in which I've studied, thought-through, and determined a conclusion. (Well this is not new for me. I'm use to defending a position and going against the grain. I'm always prepared prior to these exchanges, however, over the last few years my aggressiveness has mellowed. I'd got to the point of saying "whats the use." Over the last few weeks my annoyance with others in senior positions has increased. Now I'm defending my position, which means a change to the current methods, against very senior fellow-employees (the gods). Few within the company go up against these guys. Most buckle and just take their direction without question. Defending a position against them takes real cojones (...can I say that here). My actions are winning the approval of some, but causing others to take a defensive posture or outright attacking me or any position I have. I'm a threat to their power. Yet I'm not backing down unless they show a better solution.) (Additional notes: this is also occurring outside of work as was apparent in my earlier posts.)
- Persistence in pushing myself to overcome. If I sense resistance creeping in I work to identify and resolve the issue. If the desire is to not start an action then I force myself. If the thought is "I'm tired so go ahead and stop the current action." I force myself to continue. If I sense depression I will make sure to get physical activity or a workout. The sun can do wonderful things. To put things in perspective I think I'm only at 25% of where I want to be in relation to the ability to push myself. I have a long way to go on this one, but 25% is a major increase over what I was.
- Life is becoming very busy. I have less time for the forum. I will continue to post but may not get time to read others posts.
- I admit I'm lost when it comes to what is called enlightenment. I tend to see things for what they are. I identify new aspects of a thing "flame" that were not present to my understanding. I appreciate the absents of a thing when it is not present. Enlightenment for me is not a mystical understanding that is beyond others comprehension, but its the ability to appreciate, understand, and utilize a thing. This process makes the thing of more importance and value to my existence. Enlightenment means having the ability to share this knowledge with others.
- Finding that the things I thought I uniquely struggled with are common struggles for my peers both within the forum and without.
- Not working out as much as I would like to.
- As quickly as it flared up, the annoyance at EVERYONE has come down several notches. The down ticks coincided with the completion of my confrontation with the major individuals I felt I had a conflict with. As stated above I'm still annoyed at some just not everyone. (Shannon you are safe now LOL...or are you).
The growth of a backbone came off to some as "biting the hand the feeds you." However it is needed if you believe that you are being fed BS, then, for my case, biting that hand was beneficial to my growth. As stated above once I had confronted the many issues current and past within my life, the storm lighten, and the sun started to shine again. I still have my bat senses (BS) go off at about a mile away, however, I'm getting better at not confronting until I have a better understanding of the issue. Good growth this stage.
