I'll try & make this a short version of my former reply that i deleted. I probably have different issues from you....The first time I used Tinder, but I'm dreading this even more so NOW that I am wanting a boyfriend, I DID get a lot of matches (not straight away but it increased) but a LOT of those guys asked me to hook up straight away. For some of you that would be a dream esp. as these are people I am attracted back to but I actually really want a relationship. Just as some of you have been friend-zoned before, and i've been there too & some women have, but for some women we get SEX-zoned instead and it also sucks. I'm sick of being sex-zoned & I don't dress or say ANYTHING slutty on my profile or in my pics!
Thing is, I DON'T fancy many men off-line (although I have an awkward crush on a colleague & I don't know WHAT if anything to do about it & unless I get a clear sign of interest I aint doing squat about it!) I tried traditional dating sites like Plenty of Fish and the guys I liked were not interested, and at one point I got emailed daily by new guys I was NOT attracted to & had to turn down. And, yes, I have TRIED dating against type, dating guys I don't fancy to see if I can fall for them, for me it does NOT work.
But Man some guys on Tinder are SO sleazy! I could make two calendars from all the (unasked for!) cock pics I was sent the last time!
I am sort of a curvy MILF type, not a 20 year old supermodel type and maybe THAT'S why they ask for sex, I mean it's easy to think if I was younger & hot they'd ask for dates instead but they think I am low-value so only want to bang? I don't know.
Anyway, I HAVE had dates from Tinder too. I had 2 dates with one of the guys but I didn't feel there was enough there between us to keep going, or that HE was interested enough. But my dates WERE enjoyable. I also got a sex buddy out of it which ended up disasterously! But that's not what I want, especially now. I want an attractive boyfriend who finds me attractive and is compatible.
Tinder gives me more access than ever before to gorgeous men but then it's a matter of weeding through all the ones who only want to get their dick wet. I don't WANT that, damn it! I want the ones who are willing to take me on a date - hell I even had a walk in the park with one which is free and THAT was a great date doesn't have to be expensive! and get to know me as a person. Besides, if a guy just wants to bang, isn't it a case of he just wants a hole ANY hole?
Nothing against casual sex, but my priorities have changed that's all.
So, I go back to Tinder after a hiatus. I go back in late April. And in part I'm dreading it, I'm dreading being asked to hook up. I saw a photo of a guy on a boat with two girls. He wanted to have sex with me and I sort of wanted to say "Take ME out on the boat for STARTERS, buddy."
LOL
So, anyway, different issues than most of you, I guess.
I don't want sex in a vaccum, I'm very romantic too and I want a boyfriend.
I also love dating for its own sake, meeting a new person esp. if attractive! and having a conversation and a laugh, it's fun!
But I am NOT "down to fuck" and last time I match with a lot of guys who were but I actually want something different than that. I go to meetup groups but I don't fancy the guys as a rule, but I'll keep going to them for the socialization.
And I REALLY REALLY hope after the inner work I've been doing, I get better results next time. I'm grateful for the Tinder dates I DID get, I definitely enjoyed them!
I'm also confused about what to put on my profile to screen out the guys who ONLY want to hook up. I even PUT the song "I do not hook up" on my profile and STILL got some guys "hey baby, want to hook up?"
No, I am NOT your token MILF to pump & dump. I am NOT your consolation prize. Pardon my French, but fuck dat shit.
So wish my luck when I go back on there, I'm going to NEED it and I'll be a lot freer with the block button! I'm gonna try and just enjoy the process cos I still believe that matching with more men DOES increase my chances of SOME of them being decent and some of them were before!
Apparently for free users, it's reduced now to 100 right swipes a day. On one hand I
wonder if they will ignore me & save it for the hotties on the OTHER hand maybe
guys who DO right swipe me are more likely to be genuinely attracted rather than just
casting a wide net & right swiping EVERYONE.
Sorry that's a bit ranty! I'm excited to be
going back to Tinder in late April but also pretty nervous too & slightly cynical but
I'm up for the challenge, picking myself back up & getting back into the ring.
Thing is, I DON'T fancy many men off-line (although I have an awkward crush on a colleague & I don't know WHAT if anything to do about it & unless I get a clear sign of interest I aint doing squat about it!) I tried traditional dating sites like Plenty of Fish and the guys I liked were not interested, and at one point I got emailed daily by new guys I was NOT attracted to & had to turn down. And, yes, I have TRIED dating against type, dating guys I don't fancy to see if I can fall for them, for me it does NOT work.
But Man some guys on Tinder are SO sleazy! I could make two calendars from all the (unasked for!) cock pics I was sent the last time!
I am sort of a curvy MILF type, not a 20 year old supermodel type and maybe THAT'S why they ask for sex, I mean it's easy to think if I was younger & hot they'd ask for dates instead but they think I am low-value so only want to bang? I don't know.
Anyway, I HAVE had dates from Tinder too. I had 2 dates with one of the guys but I didn't feel there was enough there between us to keep going, or that HE was interested enough. But my dates WERE enjoyable. I also got a sex buddy out of it which ended up disasterously! But that's not what I want, especially now. I want an attractive boyfriend who finds me attractive and is compatible.
Tinder gives me more access than ever before to gorgeous men but then it's a matter of weeding through all the ones who only want to get their dick wet. I don't WANT that, damn it! I want the ones who are willing to take me on a date - hell I even had a walk in the park with one which is free and THAT was a great date doesn't have to be expensive! and get to know me as a person. Besides, if a guy just wants to bang, isn't it a case of he just wants a hole ANY hole?
Nothing against casual sex, but my priorities have changed that's all.
So, I go back to Tinder after a hiatus. I go back in late April. And in part I'm dreading it, I'm dreading being asked to hook up. I saw a photo of a guy on a boat with two girls. He wanted to have sex with me and I sort of wanted to say "Take ME out on the boat for STARTERS, buddy."
LOL
So, anyway, different issues than most of you, I guess.
I don't want sex in a vaccum, I'm very romantic too and I want a boyfriend.
I also love dating for its own sake, meeting a new person esp. if attractive! and having a conversation and a laugh, it's fun!
But I am NOT "down to fuck" and last time I match with a lot of guys who were but I actually want something different than that. I go to meetup groups but I don't fancy the guys as a rule, but I'll keep going to them for the socialization.
And I REALLY REALLY hope after the inner work I've been doing, I get better results next time. I'm grateful for the Tinder dates I DID get, I definitely enjoyed them!
I'm also confused about what to put on my profile to screen out the guys who ONLY want to hook up. I even PUT the song "I do not hook up" on my profile and STILL got some guys "hey baby, want to hook up?"
No, I am NOT your token MILF to pump & dump. I am NOT your consolation prize. Pardon my French, but fuck dat shit.
So wish my luck when I go back on there, I'm going to NEED it and I'll be a lot freer with the block button! I'm gonna try and just enjoy the process cos I still believe that matching with more men DOES increase my chances of SOME of them being decent and some of them were before!
Apparently for free users, it's reduced now to 100 right swipes a day. On one hand I
wonder if they will ignore me & save it for the hotties on the OTHER hand maybe
guys who DO right swipe me are more likely to be genuinely attracted rather than just
casting a wide net & right swiping EVERYONE.
Sorry that's a bit ranty! I'm excited to be
going back to Tinder in late April but also pretty nervous too & slightly cynical but
I'm up for the challenge, picking myself back up & getting back into the ring.
