02-22-2016, 09:50 PM
Into Stage 4 now. I don't know if this is working? I did the speaker test and passed but I'm paranoid that they're not correct. I plan to buy new speakers for my second run just to make sure.
I had a short fling with a girl. I don't know if this would have happened in the past. Older me would not have wanted to be in that position of initial discomfort and embarrassment, but current me pushed through and got laid. Everything seemed to be going well with the girl until abruptly flaking on me and then cutting all contact. Feeling pretty sad about it because looking back I have no beta or cringe worthy moments to regret.
I'm just going to try to move on from this as quick as possible. I plan to day approach this weekend because after tasting female intimacy for the first time in a while, I need more of it. I can feel an empty feeling in my chest. I actually felt the moment when the girl disconnected from me. Like a twig snapping where my heart chakra would be.
I was also flooded with a bitter, black rage. Not intense, but a low simmer. I channelled it into training tonight and it has subsided for good I can tell.
Besides that, I still feel beta in certain moments of basic 1 on 1 interaction but otherwise my entire perspective on life and where I'm going and what I need to do to improve is quite powerful. At least in relation to my peers. I've always had a sense of destiny and divine fate and this sub has strengthened those beliefs. I have a very clear vision of the next 10 years and I know I will succeed and accomplish many things that will surprise even myself.
I feel like I'm an incomplete circle and when I finally close that loop, I can begin increasing the density and glow of it.
I had a short fling with a girl. I don't know if this would have happened in the past. Older me would not have wanted to be in that position of initial discomfort and embarrassment, but current me pushed through and got laid. Everything seemed to be going well with the girl until abruptly flaking on me and then cutting all contact. Feeling pretty sad about it because looking back I have no beta or cringe worthy moments to regret.
I'm just going to try to move on from this as quick as possible. I plan to day approach this weekend because after tasting female intimacy for the first time in a while, I need more of it. I can feel an empty feeling in my chest. I actually felt the moment when the girl disconnected from me. Like a twig snapping where my heart chakra would be.
I was also flooded with a bitter, black rage. Not intense, but a low simmer. I channelled it into training tonight and it has subsided for good I can tell.
Besides that, I still feel beta in certain moments of basic 1 on 1 interaction but otherwise my entire perspective on life and where I'm going and what I need to do to improve is quite powerful. At least in relation to my peers. I've always had a sense of destiny and divine fate and this sub has strengthened those beliefs. I have a very clear vision of the next 10 years and I know I will succeed and accomplish many things that will surprise even myself.
I feel like I'm an incomplete circle and when I finally close that loop, I can begin increasing the density and glow of it.
