Ampers&d: The Year of the Alpha (Male 6.0)

[Ampersnd]

Stage 2, Day 7,

My apartment is a mess, and I'm falling behind on pMemory. If I do it tomorrow and Saturday, I'll get to do that test on Lesson 24 to see if I memorized that database. I spent the day reviewing, so I missed a day.

Finally got to go to the gym at 9, instead of the usual 7pm. Still did that.

Tomorrow, I'm going to a conference near me, so I can dress a bit more casual. Then I'll get a haircut, get groceries for the new recipe, do gym, do laundry, and finish whatever the rest of the pMemory lesson that I missed in the morning. Then I'll have to study at night to do the exam on Saturday.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 2, Day 8,

Amazing work day, spent at a conference about the health profession and mental health.
The first speaker was beyond incredible; she does physical rehabilitation for people affected in war zones and leprosy communities. The talk was about resilience, integrating contemplation (mindfulness, meditation, prayer) to develop your brain to toughen up. She went in depth about specific people who have experienced outrageous tragedies, but don't consider themselves as 'victims'. She did everything right about giving a speech. Extremely inspiring.

Anyways, I got my haircut at the end of my day at my usual spot. There was a fairly good looking 35-45 year old woman, no ring on her finger. Turns out she works there. She said hi right away, and even with someone else in line, calls me to use her chair, cleans up the area a bit. Then one of the first comments she says is: "you clearly work out". I ask her if she does, and she goes "a woman my age doesn't get this kind of body without working out".. She's hitting on me. Not used to that.

Anyways, we were pleasant to one another. I left it at that; I've been with an older woman, and it was a weird experience. Not sure I want to repeat. My haircut looks sweet, so I might be getting my hair cut by her in the near future.

Hit the gym, did singing, did the rest of pMemory. Getting tested for pMemory tomorrow.

It's now 1:20am, feeling it. I got singing done, but afterwards, my singing voice was bad. Probably due to the hustle of the week.

I have 3 days 'off', with the middle day doing my money job for about 5 hours. No alarm tonight.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 2, Day 9,

Today is Valentine's Day. I spent my morning doing the pMemory test at lesson 24. I got 29/30 correct, so I'm able to move on to the next module on Monday. I still need to improve my ability to do longer sequences of numbers; I seem to only memorize 10-12 double-digit numbers at a time.

I had sushi alone today, then I spent a large portion of the day at home, distracted with YouTube and other things. This is fine, since it's my day off of everything, so I can take advantage. But today has shown me that I need to develop my social and love life further, as I can think of few people I'd want to bring along with me, or are logistically close to hang out with regularly.

I've been hanging out with this cool guy at least once a week. He had a party this evening, and him and his friends smoke weed. I don't care, but if this guy is the only person I'm hanging out with, it might influence my behavior. I always have a good laugh with the group though.

I also realize that I need to be around more women, but also to learn how to talk to them in a way that they like. I also want to get to the level where I 'know' that I'll be having sex with a particular woman, so I can relax and enjoy the conversation as it unfolds, as opposed to freaking out and wondering: 'does she like me?'.

This needs to be handled with rigor on the 2nd half of 2015, as this first half is already pretty stacked with commitments and time constraints. Only small success can be had this part of the year; enough to tide me over, for sure, but it will only be bandage level change until I finish my placements.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 2, Day 10,

Woke up just in time for weekend work. The job was slow, but was still fun.

Got home and cooked a new meal. Then did my music stuff. I'm in this weird spot of not being terribly motivated. Even my singing took a hit, since it's lacking this 'fire' behind it.

Rather than play a video game on my own, I'm watching this guy play and commentate over YouTube.

I want to buy 'Short Guy Game', but I'm unsure about how Clickbank will process my payment, since I've read complaints about their practices.

I'm really feeling this build up of frustration; I don't what it is, where it's coming from, what it means or what to do about it. But it's there.

[ImFreeman]

Hey man, i just want to say i think your threads are some of the best out there.

I have bought the Pmemory course in 2011, i finished it but crap happened in life and never truly developed my skill enough with MM, and kinda lost the skill because of lack of use. Recently decided to start again and to become proficient in it.

About short guy game, i really don't know what it is about, if you buy it please comment on it. I saw some videos of him and he is really inspiring. But i don't know, i don't think what advice he can offer is that groundbreaking. His pick up is based on having über rock solid inner game and to be able to pull massive number of aproaches. He just plays a huge numbers game.

[Benjamin]

Clickbank just takes credit card, I haven't had any problems with them in the past and even got refunds pretty easily for some crap products I brought.

[Leo1990]

imfreeman has it right. Definetly a solid inner game. If you feel great it diesnt matter what you say.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 2, Day 11,

@ImFreeman; thanks, I didn't realize that so many people follow my (not so) thrilling life.

@Benjamin; they also take Paypal. What I meant is that many reviews of Clickbank have had many issues with CB double or triple charging them. Don't want that.

@LeoistheSun; great! Now if I can stop crying all the time, I can actually approach a woman (jokes)

Resume:
Slept great. Woke up around 10, and I did Lesson 25 of pMemory, which is the language lesson. It's teaching me the Russian alphabet, and it's mostly sinking in.

I spent 7 hours with my FB, who is now technically with me long term. We had good sex, looked for gym rings, but the stores were closed. We grabbed dinner (and she paid; I felt some guilt about not having cash on hand), we saw 'American Sniper', and we went back home and cuddled, had more sex.

Though it's fun and cordial, 2% of it is a bit of static (conflict). It could be us drifting apart. It could be a sign that I need to start dating more people. She offered to come over for my birthday for a 'surprise'.

All in all, it was a fun day that helped me relieve some stress.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 2, Day 12,

Didn't sleep very much, felt so tired throughout the day. I made some errors in my work (in the moment), but I don't care, since I'm learning from and correcting them in the moment.

I still managed to finish pMemory, and hit the gym. I saw an acquaintance, with which we started vibing on the topic on stocks; he knows a whole lot more, so I just kept asking questions about it. He mentioned that he wants to become more self-actualized, and is working at developing qualities that beget success. He's probably 24-25 at this point, and he is ahead of me, so that's a pretty huge sign that this guy would make a high quality friend.

He kept coming back to chat about whatever, so it could lead to more than being an acquaintance.

Didn't have time to sing much today, going to go to bed to recuperate. In 6 weeks, I'll be done with the pMemory course and able to apply it (and that's a huge deal), and I'll stop working on my figure around July, and the tired feeling will go away no matter what, whether or not I do it or not. The other benefits are negotiable, and will be cultivated if I stick to the process.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 2, Day 13,

Today I worked 10 hours, and I didn't really notice it. Probably because I slept more than usual (7 hours vs 6). We kicked off an event today for some clients. It went well. I'm halfway through the first placement.

My gym was closed because of very cold weather freezing up the pipes of half my uni campus, so I took advantage of that to make even more progress on my placement, then some pMemory, and finally a singing lesson/warmup.

I realized that my set of clothes are starting to irritate me; I want to look better.
I'm also frustrated that I have this talent that I could be placing in what could be my life purpose, but it's going far in anything direction.

So now, it's bed time for me.

[Darkness]

Stage 2, Day 13,

Today I worked 10 hours, and I didn't really notice it. Probably because I slept more than usual (7 hours vs 6). We kicked off an event today for some clients. It went well. I'm halfway through the first placement.

My gym was closed because of very cold weather freezing up the pipes of half my uni campus, so I took advantage of that to make even more progress on my placement, then some pMemory, and finally a singing lesson/warmup.

I realized that my set of clothes are starting to irritate me; I want to look better.
I'm also frustrated that I have this talent that I could be placing in what could be my life purpose, but it's going far in anything direction.

So now, it's bed time for me.

I've been going on a wardrobe reup so i kno the feeling

[Ampersnd]

Stage 2, Day 14,

Today was a pretty good day. I pretty much observed people all day, doing their job right. But I did pMemory, hit the gym crazy hard. So I'm spent, but in a good way. Doing singing warmup now. Keeping a little groove going on that; my singing slump seems to have gone away and shows great promise at being spectacular come summer! I truly mean that; my voice went beyond surprising me summer 2014, since I was very consistent and nearly obsessive about busking.

I've had two small insights that have led to big shifts:

1) Improve your body language instantly: Lift your chest up by 1 INCH. That's it. Your neck, your shoulders, your hips, your legs, and ultimately your posture, will take care of themselves if you stick to this change for more than 10 seconds.

I've noticed my coworkers (literally all of them female) responded to it in a positive. I wouldn't say it's sexual, just extra eye contact when we're conversing.

My only hangup is that I'm left in a position where I'm looking down on people. My mind is fighting that, as it doesn't like the idea of being above others. However, being 6 foot 2 inches, I'm literally above others most of the time, so I will be gradually accepting this reality and applying this shift as much as possible.

In the mirror, this position makes the difference between 'man who has his act together' and 'grown up boy with hoodie'.

2) Very hot women are outliers of their gender (outside the statistical norm); To fraternize with very hot women, become an outlier.

I got this off of a dating program; it cleared so many things up right away.

Look up and learn about standard distribution curves; you'll basically get an image of a bell curve. Average people fall within the mean (average). Very hot women are to the very right of the bell curve, probably 2.5 to 3 standard deviations from the mean. Of course, it's subjective; some people consider very hot women as being 1+ SD to the right. My standards are a bit higher as for what makes for 'very hot'.

These women, because they're in demand, won't consider spending as much (if any) time with those who aren't also outliers, in the sense that these have some developed quality that is far outside of ordinary. This could a talent, charisma, humor, social skills, masculinity (for dating), and yes, looks, height, and money.

The best part about being a man is that YOU GET TO PICK in which areas you want to be developed. Like mentioned before, you don't HAVE to be rich to date models, but it helps. You don't HAVE to be good looking either. But every single quality you have that is above average will gradually edge you to the right of a standard distribution curve and make you an outlier in her eyes. You can go gung-ho on a couple of qualities, or strive for a more balanced improvement in all areas.

But appearance is important; I'm starting to get impatient with my increasingly-crap looking casual wear, albeit I'm grateful for their role in my life, and that I had the money to afford them and so on.

Also, I've had a few opportunities to meet and chat with women, but I frankly don't really want to. Is this weird? In October-November (on SM3), I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had sex on Monday, and it's almost Friday, and I haven't given much thought to women besides a few right swipes on Tinder and the insights from today.

Will keep you posted.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 2, Day 15,

Full day of work. Hit the weights hard, and did most of my pMemory lesson. I measured my left arm after the workout; holy shit, my (left) arm is 16".

I have even more insights that I forgot about yesterday:

3) People aren't "dumb" or "lazy"; they've mostly been conned into decisions that make them broke, tired, and busy.

Most of the things that we're implicitly told to do are things that occupy our money, our time, and our energy in major ways.

Let's go through the list:
- "You HAVE to go to college to get a good job" = debt and enough of a time commitment to prevent you from earning money
- "You SHOULD get married, or else it would be weird after a certain age" = expensive ring, expensive wedding ceremony, possibly an expensive (demanding) partner, and statistically an expensive divorce. Energy levels can vary depending on how awesome your spouse is.
- Having kids, even before being financially ready for it = huge time, money, and energy commitment

I came across this realization when I realized that every single one of the clients I've seen since I've started my internship have been quite intelligent and present. Some are over 70 and are still 'there', as much as they can with their condition. They mostly understood the medications they were taking, and the risk of interactions.

So, with this in mind, I asked myself: "why is it common in self-help to call the masses 'stupid' or 'lazy'?" In my life, I'm finding plenty of people who aren't so.

I'm becoming aware that the typical western lifestyle is one that is wrongly sold. The benefits are exaggerated to the point of ridiculous, and the disadvantages are swept under the rug as "well, that's just the way it is". Unfortunately, there's so much gravitational pull behind it that people settle into it, become comfortable, and don't bother to look at the other options.

However, I still assign responsibility to people who want to get out to find a way. It helps when you're single and younger, and when you've made fewer major decisions that eat up your resources.

4) I have some sort of deep fear of people hidden away somewhere in this brain. It shows up in the fact that I want to go out there and mingle, but I never stick to any sort of habit. It's actually the single worst area in my life. It's affecting me with friends and dating.

Right now, it's at its worst; I don't care to do anything about it. I'm put all my time and energy towards all these other things. But I know that it has to be handled this year.

My theory on why this is so would be from the summers in my youth I've spent isolated because of surgeries that I've undergone, and the recovery time always being during the summer. When I was 6 and 9, I had two different surgeries, and so I couldn't go out and play with others. I couldn't even go outside. So I stayed in and played video games. This was fun, so I didn't notice what sort of impact it's had on me until now.

The ironic thing is that I go to the gym, and I'm completely fine and relaxed.

5) I really REALLY don't how to fully relate with attractive women;

My game plan has to change; whenever I do start approaching and chatting with women, I have to become more interested in spending longer periods of time learning about them, taking things much less seriously, and not putting her on the spot to decide (aka approaching too directly).

I will wait until I have some semblance of motivation, as I really don't care to right now. My sex drive has been very low this week. I appreciate the mental clarity that it brings, and I understand that this won't be forever.

I'm glad these issues are being brought up, as it seems that this is how Slipstream technology works; it shows the user what the problems are, then the subliminal finds a way around the problem with minimal resistance.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 2, Day 16,

Day off, so I woke up around 11:30am. I slept really well.
Ate a bunch of junk (cheat day). Hit the gym pretty hard.

Did singing and guitar practice; watching Conan (kickass movie)

I've made a mini-list of what I want to work on during the second run of AM6 this year.
- Go out many times a week and talk with women; become successful in dating many of them; have sex regularly with new and different women;
- Develop a good quality social circle; increase social skills; become funnier and learn to tell stories; learn to vibe with people quickly and gain contacts;
- Start earning money as a musician as fast as possible