Rebirth Of A Natural Alpha

[WildFlower]

It's like I have a real strong urge to look after myself, physical fitness is a priority at the moment.

I found a real desire to look after myself, as well as improve myself, both intellectually and physically. It's seems to be quite a prominent feature of the Alpha set - turning all unused energy around and focusing it on improving yourself.

[ManOfElectricity]

It's like I have a real strong urge to look after myself, physical fitness is a priority at the moment.

I found a real desire to look after myself, as well as improve myself, both intellectually and physically. It's seems to be quite a prominent feature of the Alpha set - turning all unused energy around and focusing it on improving yourself.

Yeah, I agree with this. It's great that we are all noticing the same patterns. It means that it is working.

---

Today has being really real tough.

I have a lot of negative feelings coming up at the moment and it is really overwhelming and it's very difficult for me to do stuff I need or want to do. Luckily I got friends and family I can talk to and are very understanding. My mum is into Ramtha so she understands about resistance.

Last week, pretty much all the time I was doing great. I got back to the gym on a regular basis and I'm getting into to a routine in terms of mediation and practicing martial arts. I was practically on a high last week, especially the middle of the week.

I went to martial arts class yesterday for the first time in a long time and I can tell that my teacher is not happy with me. I've missed a lot of classes due to taken on too much work and then becoming burnt out and then having what I think could have being a break down of some kind. The reason why I think this is that I had bad anxiety attacks and depression (of which absolute self confidence definitely helped me recover from).

I managed to get back to a few classes but then I went on a trip to Austria and that kind of broke things up. It's only this last week that I actually got back to a proper routine, before that I was hardly doing anything, it's like I was needing just to get back to normal energy levels again before taking on exercise.

In one sense I see where my teacher is coming from. He wants me to do well and succeed and he is 100% behind me. He wants to bring out the best in me, that is what he loves to do with his students and of course we all love him for it.

In another sense I'm easily upset with anyone who I feel is impatient with me right now because my top priority is to be emotionally healthy and it's like no one (except my close family) knows what's happened to me and so no one can understand why I haven't put in the time like I should have done.

The last time I was like this I was in film school. I got really depressed at one point and I just needed to slow down but some teachers got a bit annoyed with me, they thought I was slacking and being lazy but actually what was happening was that I was recharging.

I guess in a couple weeks in won't matter, I'll be more into my routine and I'll be getting along fine with my teacher and enjoying my classes again. It's just at the moment it's really getting me down.

Maybe at the beginning of being an alpha it necessary to become more selfish (in a healthy way) and make sure my needs are being taken care of. It's like I went for a full system reset and although in the long run it's will be for the best in the initial stages people are going to misunderstand and get annoyed with me. It happened in film school and I think it's happening again.

[Ryan]

Hey buddy,

Don't worry about it, I went through it too with Woman Magnet and I just now seem to be getting past it. It's great that your family is back behind you though because that makes it more difficult for me (I haven't told them at all what I'm doing). I keep wondering do people/family think I'm bipolar or something, I mean one second I'm in a great mood but the next I'm a depressed wreak. I took 2 months out of my social life. I even told many girls/friends I'd catch up with them next week but never call. It's been a rough battling through everything that I was so unstable. All in all, it's worth it in the long run to figure out everything holding you back so you can JUMP forward. Think about it, when the dust clears you are going to be a completely different man. Soon enough you'll be feeling better than ever

As for people getting annoyed with you... Shannon mentioned during the transition people are unsure of how to perceive you, which could make them annoyed? It'll go away once the beliefs are stronger in your system though.

[WildFlower]

In one sense I see where my teacher is coming from. He wants me to do well and succeed and he is 100% behind me. He wants to bring out the best in me, that is what he loves to do with his students and of course we all love him for it.

In another sense I'm easily upset with anyone who I feel is impatient with me right now because my top priority is to be emotionally healthy and it's like no one (except my close family) knows what's happened to me and so no one can understand why I haven't put in the time like I should have done.

The last time I was like this I was in film school. I got really depressed at one point and I just needed to slow down but some teachers got a bit annoyed with me, they thought I was slacking and being lazy but actually what was happening was that I was recharging.

I guess in a couple weeks in won't matter, I'll be more into my routine and I'll be getting along fine with my teacher and enjoying my classes again. It's just at the moment it's really getting me down.

Maybe at the beginning of being an alpha it necessary to become more selfish (in a healthy way) and make sure my needs are being taken care of. It's like I went for a full system reset and although in the long run it's will be for the best in the initial stages people are going to misunderstand and get annoyed with me. It happened in film school and I think it's happening again.

You are way more observant than I am, because these few chapters sum up the same thing that happened to me during Stage 2, 3 and half of stage 4 during the Alpha set but I only became aware of it after I had emerged from the cocoon as a butterfly. Props for noticing the change.

You yourself are changing so likewise peoples reactions to you will change also. The period of change during Stage 2 in particular does very much feel like a 'recharging', a 'healing' process, not at all selfish but I can see why others may see that - it feels like you are looking 'in' far more than you are looking 'out'. Just stay faithful and rest assured other peoples intolerance to either a noticeable increase in your self-confidence or your apparent external apathy due to redirecting energy inward, will all soon disappear. I enjoyed the first 3 stages as I felt my confidence increase day by day, but it was during stage 4 that people started to really accept it.

[ManOfElectricity]

@ Ryan.

Thanks for this.

Yeah I worry that people think I'm bi-polar as well. I feel really high at times and then as other times really low. That seems to be what has happened these last two weeks. I agree though what you said about figuring out everything that is holding you back. It's like a extreme version of EFT or Sedona, although it's painful at times it's good knowing that those issues are getting taken care of once and for all. After seeing Inception last week I can really understand how the subconscious mind uses some very clever tricks to fight back but what I love about the subliminals is that they just keep on playing for as long as I need them to.

@ Wildflower.

Thanks for sharing your experiences from the alpha set.

Yeah I've heard about how people sometimes react strange when someone they know changes.

I'm definitely going to keep the faith and do the remaining of the program, especially after hearing both your's and Ryan's success.

I was thinking of an analogy today. I generally enjoy going on planes, especially when I'm going somewhere I really want to go to, like when I went to Bangkok or San Francisco but sometimes on the way there would be turbulence. I would be excited about the destination and also enjoying the journey but if there was turbulence I would get scared and start to think that the plane was going to crash. However, all I have to do is just ride out the turbulence and I will eventually arrive where I want to be. There is nothing really to do, nothing to figure out, I just need to ride it out, kind of like riding out a storm.

So maybe as I continue the alpha set over the next several months, when I'm high I'll go out and make the most of it, when I'm low, I'll just take it easy, still do stuff like go the gym but take it easy and watch movies.

[ManOfElectricity]

Here is an update.

I've being crazy busy with work so haven't had a chance to get out much but I think things are going in a very positive direction. I'm now one week into stage 2.

1. A female friend contacted me a couple weeks ago and we hanged out. The last time I saw her was about a year ago. At that time we dated a bit but then she said she just wanted to be friends. Now she wants to hang out again but I feel a lot more indifferent. She is a very good looking woman and really smart but I'm more relaxed around her, I enjoy her more as a person now and I'm not hoping for sex like I used to. I look forward to hanging out with her again but if we don't I'm ok with that, where as before I would have being really disappointed and upset.

2. I've had some negative stuff come up to be released but it's like as crap is getting cleaned away I'm figuring out who I really am and I'm feeling stronger. I know that it's part of the process and it's a good thing, even if there are days I feel shitty.

3. Although I think it's good to be giving and loving I also come to realise that it is important to think about what I want and go after that in a healthy way, not to just be doing what makes other people happy all the time.

4. I'm having a great connection with a woman I'm seeing. It's like there is just a great sparkle between us and I feel really present around her.

5. I'm going two months without porn and will probably quit entirely. I quit about a year and a half ago when I started doing natural grounding. Had great results from that but porn started to "sneak" back into my life again. Figured it was ok for me to look at it every once in a while but I recently came to conclusion that I would be happy without it. I can have all the happiness I want (including great relationships and sex)without it so why do I need it? I've deleted it from my computer and I've blocked my browser from going to certain sites. It's like chocolate, if it's front of me I'll eat it, if it's not there I won't even think about it.

6. Seems like everyone wants to hang out with me at the moment. It's fun but it's a shame because I have a lot of work on at the moment. I'm desperate to get back into Natural Grounding and going back to the gym and going out but my days are really full at the moment but not for long. I'm really looking forward to getting out in the world again.

7. I'm speaking my mind a lot more, in a considerate way but definitely saying what I think in conversation.

8. I feel like I have a better sense of humor. It's more spontaneous.

9. I'm getting rid of a lot of my video games. I still enjoy them immensely but I don't need so many. As much as I enjoy them there's other things I want to do with me time.

[K-Train]

Looks like you are taking the necessary steps toward change my friend! I definitely understand where you're coming from with the video games. They're good, but too many will kill you social life. I still have a lot but I don't play them anywhere NEAR as much as I used to years ago. I'm just thankful I never got stuck on World of Warcraft. I've heard that game will literally suck the life outta you if you over-indulge.

In fact, I think that can be said for ALL video games/computers.

[Spiral]

Yea true.. I have a ton of video games but I was never into them like other people. And I would only play them If I was bored. I havnt been a regular gamer since early high school.. I just got way to busy to really care. I play 1 or 2 here and there like my favorites. That's always good to kind of get away and reflect on yourself honestly during some of these times dealing with the negativity but once you get through it those subs really kick in. I feel like alot of negative shit was released and I have had more of a desire to socialize in the last 2 days than I ever have in my life. I wonder what stage 2 will do for me

[woceyes]

Same here with the video games i have been playing since i was 3... i used to play a lot after i started working on myself i don't play as much. MMO's are the worst they suck up so much of your time. Facebook and Myspace are major time wasters as well. Congrats on getting rid of your time wasters and moving forward towards your goal.

[ManOfElectricity]

Thanks guys. Yeah, I think I'll just have one or two games that I really like and then leave the rest. I'll probably just rent them from now on and then give them away when I'm finished with them.

Things have being real tough recently. A lot of anger has come to the surface to be realised. I didn't realise how angry I was about certain things, quite frankly I'm getting a mild headache.

The good news is that I have a lot of people in my life, my parents and a woman I'm dating who are really positive and supportive.

I have a lot of fear about being labelled a creep or a pervert for showing interest in a woman. Interestingly though, even in this tough time, when I get out and about women are generally positive towards me. Also when I don't a get a response from a woman (like I smile at her and she doesn't smile back or looks away) I'm ok with it.

Somehow thinking about things is worse then actually experiencing them. Looking back there have being times when I got rejected by a woman and then literally moments later I met a woman who was really warm, open and flirty.

I think I've heard a lot of guys say that stage 2 of both the Alpha Set and the Woman Magnet is really tough. I'm feeling a lot of pain but I know that I'll get through this.

It seems that getting out around people really helps to alleviate the pain. I think that this is due to what we imagine in our heads is much worse then reality. Many film directors used this in suspense and horror in the past. Like instead of showing gore they would cut away before the knife cut somebody (i.e. Psycho) or instead of showing the monster you would only see a part of the creature and it was that much more scary (i.e. Alien). So in a sense what you imagine is much worse then reality, so simply talking being social can alleviate a lot fear and distress.

I've noticed some interesting changes though. Me and my girlfriend went and saw the movie Piranha 3D a couple weeks ago and we both really did not like the film at all. It seems that horror films are no longer about suspense and story anymore, they are just about gore and watching people in extreme pain. I really hate watching people suffer at the moment, even if it is just acting.

I'm also really finding sexploitation disgusting. I love seeing a woman naked if there is a real connection between me and her and she is right in front of me and there is a connection between us but I don't like seeing women used as sex objects in film anymore. I find that it just turns me of because it comes across as fake and contrived to me.

[Majordomus]

Video games:
When I was in a college, I totally feel for Fallout 2.
I went to study its manual.
As I am from a foreign country, I did not know the English enough.
But fallout had so many great conversations and in-game stories, that I sat down with a dictionary and went with it through the whole bloody game and its manual.
A week or so later, we did an official English test in the school.
Previously being an average English student, I scored best in the whole damn year this time.
It kicked me in the butt to prove something to myself.
And I went on to study English on my own and in language school till I achieved a General State Exam in English (which is a really professional degree mainly for translators and language teachers).
Some years later I turned this qualification into a translator carrier, which has been my source of decent sustenance ever since.
So, one of these video games literally changed my life...
Hail to Fallout 2
I will always love that game. It is intelligent, smart, funny, entertaining and charming, old as it is.
Yet, I do not play games any more neither, they take too much of time and I had always have problems getting my ass away from them.
But you see, there are no good or bad things as such, as long as you survive, you never know what good will come into your life...
Enjoying your jurnals, guys.
Keep it up.

[ManOfElectricity]

Majordomus that is an awesome story. Thank you so much for sharing.

I'm experiencing something similar in Fallout 3, it's actually taught me some pretty cool stuff. In Fallout 3 depending on your actions or how you complete certain missions you can get good karma or bad karma.

For example, turn of the atomic bomb in Megaton city and saving the people there raises your Karma by a large number of points. Wire the bomb to explode and you get paid lots of money but you also get negative Karma.

Lately I've being hearing Brent Smith talk about giving to give and how the universe rewards you for doing positive things, especially when you do things without expecting a return.

In Fallout 3, random people will give you stuff for free if you have positive karma, also certain characters will want to be your companions in the game and accompany you on missions. If you have high karma you attract more positive characters, if you have negative karma you tend to attract more negative characters.

So I've starting to play with the idea of doing things in real life that raise my "karma". Whether it is giving up a seat on a train to an elderly person, giving some cash to charity, just doing something positive for the fun of it and not expecting anything in return.

[Majordomus]

Majordomus that is an awesome story. Thank you so much for sharing.

I'm experiencing something similar in Fallout 3, it's actually taught me some pretty cool stuff. In Fallout 3 depending on your actions or how you complete certain missions you can get good karma or bad karma.

For example, turn of the atomic bomb in Megaton city and saving the people there raises your Karma by a large number of points. Wire the bomb to explode and you get paid lots of money but you also get negative Karma.

Lately I've being hearing Brent Smith talk about giving to give and how the universe rewards you for doing positive things, especially when you do things without expecting a return.

In Fallout 3, random people will give you stuff for free if you have positive karma, also certain characters will want to be your companions in the game and accompany you on missions. If you have high karma you attract more positive characters, if you have negative karma you tend to attract more negative characters.

So I've starting to play with the idea of doing things in real life that raise my "karma". Whether it is giving up a seat on a train to an elderly person, giving some cash to charity, just doing something positive for the fun of it and not expecting anything in return.

Fallout 3 - I had to promise myself to stay away from that game knowing I might kill several months of my life with it
Yeah, you are right, all fallouts are unusually smart games with a lot of both depth and humour to them.

[ronatello]

@ ManOfElectricity: it's good to hear from you again! I'm also doing the Alpha Male program.. I'm 3 weeks into stage 1. What I have noticed thus far is that I'm slowly detaching myself from any outcome. In other words, being more indifferent. It's not very pronounced yet but more of a ongoing process. I'm figuring the Alpha Male program will really kick in to higher gears once I get to stage 2 and 3. More issues will wash up and will be dealt with in due time.
Sounds to me you're making good progress so far.