Disconnect from negativity within

[mat422]

Hey mat.

I slipped into one of those states the other day and just woke up the next day thinking what the hell was wrong with me, I used to have those a lot, they have decreased though and i'm very glad they did, for me it was through AM.

for that sort of headaches and migraine from what I have noticed on many close people to me acupuncture helps big time, if that wont work just use silver ;p.

They definitely are a pain to deal with. I try not to beat myself up for slipping up, that usually just makes it worse.

Hmmm, I've never considered accupuncture. Gotta look into that.

A great way to supplement your magnesium and relieve stress is a hot bath with Epsom salts mixed in. The hot water releases the stress and calms the body while the magnesium in the Epsom salts is absorbed via the skin. It's faster and more-reliable than supplementing with pills, where some of the pills don't absorb well.

Cool. I'll definitely be trying that out soon. Thanks.

[mat422]

Just noticed my dreams are affected by which side I lay on. I don't know if hearing can be more dominant on one side or anything, but I'll give my experience.

When I sleep on my left side I notice my dreams are very emotionally driven. Always involving some level of fear or having to surpass some obstacle. These dreams seem to be very sharp and close to reality, upon awakening they seem like real life scenarios that could possibly unfold.

When I sleep on my right side my dreams still tend to be linked to the sub. But it's not as strong emotion in my dreams. The dreams are more abstract, hazy, dreamlike scenarios.

Of course it's also possible that when I change my sleeping position I move farther or closer to the speakers. Right now the speakers aren't on each side of my head. They are both on my left side next to each other. Perhaps this limits the effectiveness somewhat.

But moving on. I haven't been noticing too much lately. But what I have noticed is that the fear seems to be lessening in a way that it isn't overwhelming anymore. So it went from about a 10 to a 5 now. The best way to put it is that the volume on my negative thinking has been turned down, it still manifests itself, but it becomes something manageable rather than all consuming. I feel like fear is being trained out of me almost, like kicking a bad habit. But like kicking a bad habit I tend to relapse. When this happens though it's much easier to pull myself out of it.

It's like I was listening to this internal negative voice my whole life, giving it authority and feeling like I wasn't competent enough to believe anything else. And then I realized that I don't have to think that way, but it's still a battle to not fall back into that old habit. But looking at everything in perspective, it's clear how the fear is controlling me in subtle ways.

[mat422]

I'm getting better at letting go of the negative thoughts. The sub might be helping me do that, but I can't really know. For all I know maybe those negative thoughts were there as a way to excuse my fear. So instead of actively acknowledging I was afraid, it was easier to get down on myself and depressed so I didn't have to face that fear. It's like layers, everything I think I know usually goes deeper than that.

And the other thing is, this fear messed with my judgment and perspective a lot. I really think the cause of all my depression stems from fear. I feel like I'm able to get a clearer perspective on things lately. And I just feel like it's really important to have that perspective all straightened out because to me it makes all the difference in the world.

I can't live the rest of my life in fear, it just makes everything so dark and hopeless. And my fear is more directly related to other people. I feel like I'm a sensitive person. I tend to not trust other people. I can't put into words how I feel most the time. I just feel like people are dangerous to me. And I don't want that. With all my logic I've reasoned how trustworthy people can be, but subconsciously there still exists that inability to feel at ease. This is what's baffled me for years now. Lately anxiety is minimal, no racing heart, no shallow breathing, no racing thoughts. But it exists and it tends to cause me to avoid things. Obviously the answer is to keep pushing my comfort zone, but it's tough and I'm trying but it's not easy.

I guess my biggest issue I'm facing is I'm still living with my parents and unemployed. It's not like I'm lazy, things are just really rough and I'm just kind of lost. I'm 21 now, I just don't feel like I'm independent. I still feel like a kid with all my fears and problems. I'm just surrounded by people who are ahead of me and I feel like I constantly compare myself to them. I don't like making excuses, but at the same time I wonder how they would be doing if they were in my shoes. Sometimes I feel like I'm running a race with an invisible boulder strapped to my leg.

[Yuri]

Mat I must admit reading your post felt like I was the one who wrote it.

your Chinese horoscope is a goat, same as me and they usually are very sensitive and emotional people and notice small things most people barely notice and therefore we get hurt very very easily by things that some people barely understand.

and trust to us is very simple yet when we look at people they make it look very complicated.

try your best not to compare yourself to others because no matter how fast or how ahead you think they are compared to you there race never ends and there is no real winner.

my question for you is what do you really want? I ask this to learn since I am in a very close position to you and starving to do something but yet my biggest ordeal is I have no idea what I want.

[Subeternal]

I can't live the rest of my life in fear, it just makes everything so dark and hopeless. And my fear is more directly related to other people. I feel like I'm a sensitive person. I tend to not trust other people. I can't put into words how I feel most the time. I just feel like people are dangerous to me. And I don't want that. With all my logic I've reasoned how trustworthy people can be, but subconsciously there still exists that inability to feel at ease. This is what's baffled me for years now. Lately anxiety is minimal, no racing heart, no shallow breathing, no racing thoughts. But it exists and it tends to cause me to avoid things. Obviously the answer is to keep pushing my comfort zone, but it's tough and I'm trying but it's not easy.

I guess my biggest issue I'm facing is I'm still living with my parents and unemployed. It's not like I'm lazy, things are just really rough and I'm just kind of lost. I'm 21 now, I just don't feel like I'm independent. I still feel like a kid with all my fears and problems. I'm just surrounded by people who are ahead of me and I feel like I constantly compare myself to them. I don't like making excuses, but at the same time I wonder how they would be doing if they were in my shoes. Sometimes I feel like I'm running a race with an invisible boulder strapped to my leg.

I dont have the mind or the energy to be articulate right now but I'll give it my best shot.

From what you wrote in those 2 paragraphs describes what I've went through the better part of my life from age 15-25. From my searching around the internet I think you and I and maybe even Yuri too are either HSP (hypersensitive people) or Empaths. They are related but Empath pretty much takes the thing to the extreme.

For myself I'm extremely distrustful of people in reality nowadays. I've been manipulated, mislead, kept around merely for expertise or to be used as a scapegoat of some kind to the point where I've lost friends because I look like the crazy one and the one I consider not so benevolent beneath the surface gets my so called friends allegiance. I dont condone all my actions in the past and I wish things could be different but thats obviously outside of my power.

Even with people that could make potential friends or at least good acquaintances I always find a way to make sure they dont get close to me. I feel like you do that people are dangerous and that if I somehow let them get to know the "real" me somehow they will ruin me in the end. With men and women I will distance myself if things feel too easy or I end up too chummy with them. Sometimes in subtle ways and sometimes in not so subtle ways but my subconscious makes sure it happens.

Unlike like becoming more self confident or a alpha male per se I dont believe that this is a matter of pushing boundaries. I think that people like ourselves tend to draw in the needy, the stragglers, and sometimes the users as well. In my case at least I always try to put up a tough facade so that it would perhaps deter people from seeking shelter from me as strangers like to confide in me whether to be a listener or caretaker that can shoulder their emotions and problems at least for a little while. The facade doesnt work as people still come to me pretty much randomly wanting help from me.

The idea is for us as hypersensitive and/or empath individuals to not get too drawn in or lost in other people's energy especially when they can cause us to be really down on ourselves or out of whack as well. Using subliminals to maximize our emotional strength and prevent negative energies from taking hold of us is key. I think once your mindset is clear and fear/guilt/shame/self worth issues are dealt with you'll be more equipped to trust others in the long run. I used to wear reiki (semi precious) stones for certain qualities. I'm sure theres certain stones you can wear to create a bit of a barrier between you and other people's energies. Just a suggestion.


As far as your last paragraph goes I'm in your shoes and I've had at least 4 more years of experience of that particularly. You have to stop making the comparisons for one. We are nothing like the typical go getters or financially security seeking individuals out there. We obviously need to sustain ourselves like anyone else but only through proper learning and nurturing of ourselves can we begin to once and for all transform from the cocoon to the butterfly.

People of our nature have special needs and that took me a very long time to understand. Once you get your emotional health in order you can work on your own abilities. The tough thing about finding a career choice for us is that we can't accept the mundane (I do this so I can live) life. What I'm saying is that its hard for us to do a job that goes against our grain as people. It burns us out and leaves us more than simply unhappy.

Once you start finding your range as an individual whom is uninhibited, free of fear, guild, shame, self esteem issues you'll see the path clearer as to what you should do with your life. You should do a job that enables you to use your abilities as a HSP/empath and is congruent with your ideals/ standards. Your good with people even if you don't want to admit it. You have a special sensing/ awareness that allows you to help and guide others. Your able to see if people are showing their true selves to you or if they are trying to sell you a particular "version" of themselves.

You know why you cant describe how you feel most times? We feel on a higher plane than average people do. Our feeling is akin to how a dog smells the world. Thats who we are. You can't put that into words.


If Yuri and Matt are Goats, I'm a rabbit. We usually get along well and I can say without a doubt we operate on similar wave lengths. Never stop using your introspection to guide you and never stop using Shannon's subs to improve yourself. You'll be alright my friend.

[mat422]

Mat I must admit reading your post felt like I was the one who wrote it.

your Chinese horoscope is a goat, same as me and they usually are very sensitive and emotional people and notice small things most people barely notice and therefore we get hurt very very easily by things that some people barely understand.

and trust to us is very simple yet when we look at people they make it look very complicated.

try your best not to compare yourself to others because no matter how fast or how ahead you think they are compared to you there race never ends and there is no real winner.

my question for you is what do you really want? I ask this to learn since I am in a very close position to you and starving to do something but yet my biggest ordeal is I have no idea what I want.

Wow, guess I'm not alone with this stuff. As for what I want. It's something I've wanted ever since I was younger. I just want the ability to navigate this world without so much fear and anxiety. My biggest goal is just improving myself and from there just enjoying life. Really I just want to live a modest life, not have to worry about financial stuff, and be in an environment where people aren't hell bent on being negative. I feel at odds with American life sometimes, it's like everyone wants to be a celebrity, rock star, someone famous, someone amazing, and if you are ok with just being a humble person content to enjoy the gift of life you aren't striving hard enough.

But that could all change. I always feel like I've got a lot of untapped potential, just fear holds me back a lot of the time. And I also tend to downplay myself. I'm too humble sometimes, and I feel like that's because I don't like attention on me.

I can't live the rest of my life in fear, it just makes everything so dark and hopeless. And my fear is more directly related to other people. I feel like I'm a sensitive person. I tend to not trust other people. I can't put into words how I feel most the time. I just feel like people are dangerous to me. And I don't want that. With all my logic I've reasoned how trustworthy people can be, but subconsciously there still exists that inability to feel at ease. This is what's baffled me for years now. Lately anxiety is minimal, no racing heart, no shallow breathing, no racing thoughts. But it exists and it tends to cause me to avoid things. Obviously the answer is to keep pushing my comfort zone, but it's tough and I'm trying but it's not easy.

I guess my biggest issue I'm facing is I'm still living with my parents and unemployed. It's not like I'm lazy, things are just really rough and I'm just kind of lost. I'm 21 now, I just don't feel like I'm independent. I still feel like a kid with all my fears and problems. I'm just surrounded by people who are ahead of me and I feel like I constantly compare myself to them. I don't like making excuses, but at the same time I wonder how they would be doing if they were in my shoes. Sometimes I feel like I'm running a race with an invisible boulder strapped to my leg.

I dont have the mind or the energy to be articulate right now but I'll give it my best shot.

From what you wrote in those 2 paragraphs describes what I've went through the better part of my life from age 15-25. From my searching around the internet I think you and I and maybe even Yuri too are either HSP (hypersensitive people) or Empaths. They are related but Empath pretty much takes the thing to the extreme.

For myself I'm extremely distrustful of people in reality nowadays. I've been manipulated, mislead, kept around merely for expertise or to be used as a scapegoat of some kind to the point where I've lost friends because I look like the crazy one and the one I consider not so benevolent beneath the surface gets my so called friends allegiance. I dont condone all my actions in the past and I wish things could be different but thats obviously outside of my power.

Even with people that could make potential friends or at least good acquaintances I always find a way to make sure they dont get close to me. I feel like you do that people are dangerous and that if I somehow let them get to know the "real" me somehow they will ruin me in the end. With men and women I will distance myself if things feel too easy or I end up too chummy with them. Sometimes in subtle ways and sometimes in not so subtle ways but my subconscious makes sure it happens.

Unlike like becoming more self confident or a alpha male per se I dont believe that this is a matter of pushing boundaries. I think that people like ourselves tend to draw in the needy, the stragglers, and sometimes the users as well. In my case at least I always try to put up a tough facade so that it would perhaps deter people from seeking shelter from me as strangers like to confide in me whether to be a listener or caretaker that can shoulder their emotions and problems at least for a little while. The facade doesnt work as people still come to me pretty much randomly wanting help from me.

The idea is for us as hypersensitive and/or empath individuals to not get too drawn in or lost in other people's energy especially when they can cause us to be really down on ourselves or out of whack as well. Using subliminals to maximize our emotional strength and prevent negative energies from taking hold of us is key. I think once your mindset is clear and fear/guilt/shame/self worth issues are dealt with you'll be more equipped to trust others in the long run. I used to wear reiki (semi precious) stones for certain qualities. I'm sure theres certain stones you can wear to create a bit of a barrier between you and other people's energies. Just a suggestion.


As far as your last paragraph goes I'm in your shoes and I've had at least 4 more years of experience of that particularly. You have to stop making the comparisons for one. We are nothing like the typical go getters or financially security seeking individuals out there. We obviously need to sustain ourselves like anyone else but only through proper learning and nurturing of ourselves can we begin to once and for all transform from the cocoon to the butterfly.

People of our nature have special needs and that took me a very long time to understand. Once you get your emotional health in order you can work on your own abilities. The tough thing about finding a career choice for us is that we can't accept the mundane (I do this so I can live) life. What I'm saying is that its hard for us to do a job that goes against our grain as people. It burns us out and leaves us more than simply unhappy.

Once you start finding your range as an individual whom is uninhibited, free of fear, guild, shame, self esteem issues you'll see the path clearer as to what you should do with your life. You should do a job that enables you to use your abilities as a HSP/empath and is congruent with your ideals/ standards. Your good with people even if you don't want to admit it. You have a special sensing/ awareness that allows you to help and guide others. Your able to see if people are showing their true selves to you or if they are trying to sell you a particular "version" of themselves.

You know why you cant describe how you feel most times? We feel on a higher plane than average people do. Our feeling is akin to how a dog smells the world. Thats who we are. You can't put that into words.


If Yuri and Matt are Goats, I'm a rabbit. We usually get along well and I can say without a doubt we operate on similar wave lengths. Never stop using your introspection to guide you and never stop using Shannon's subs to improve yourself. You'll be alright my friend.

Interesting I was looking up empaths the other day, this is quite the coincidence.

So much of what you've said I can relate to. Even with trusting people, I've never been manipulated or used or taken advantage of. But when I see that behavior I feel like it becomes my problem. I feel like most people would be like "well that sucks for him, but some people are bad and you just have to watch out". Meanwhile I'm thinking "No that's not right, why do people have to be that way?" Then I might get depressed or bogged down. I feel the negativity and it's so toxic at times.

I also don't let people get close to me. I've gotten better, it used to be really bad. I used to put on a tough facade as well and push them away, but I've gradually learned to let people in. Still it's that subconscious response that pushes them away.

I never really thought about having special needs. I've always been different. But that's what a lot of people think.

Your good with people even if you don't want to admit it

This made me chuckle. It's so true. For years I took the exact opposite direction, saying I wasn't good with people. But my parents always told me they saw something in me and even if I couldn't see it, it was there.

Anyway this was a great post. I think I'm just a highly sensitive person. I have no real firm solid evidence of feeling other's emotions or of being an empath. Although when I enter a room if there is tension I can feel it. I attribute this to being hyper aware of my surroundings and just having the ability to pick up on that.

[Shannon]

Mat, in the world there are many different kinds of people. Some are good at one thing, others not so much, but good at another. When the majority of people are operating at level X, and you are operating at level Y, and have limited-to-no contact with others operating at level Y, it gets lonely, and you may fall into the trap of assuming you should be just like everyone else, and judging yourself against them, and never being satisfied.

It's a bit like the ugly duckling, actually. Usually the rare ones are the more advanced ones, the more capable ones, the ones here to help "the rest" get further along than reality TV and the like that they are so addicted to. I believe that we have exceptional skills and abilities and senses and awarenesses, and we are here to act as examples and to guide those who don't yet have those skills, abilities and awarenesses developed into a state where they do have them developed.

We tend to suffer a great deal in the process, though, because there's no instruction manual. Realizing these things requires that we first become strong enough within. It's only when the ugly duckling realizes that in its uniqueness is its beauty and strength, that it begins to take flight and display itself as it truly is.

In the end, it's a learning experience for everyone involved. You, at least, have the Internet, and access to others who are similar, and can guide and encourage you. I did not have the Internet, growing up. Or cell phones, or cable TV, or subliminals, or even friends. I had to learn all this the hard way. It seems that my lot has always been to do it the hardest way possible, and then show others how to do what I learned and make it easier for them.

Be grateful for the eases you do have, and remember that you are unique among your peers, and that in being unique, you can only compare yourself to you. And when you start doing that, you'll realize that you can only be succeeding, because growth is inevitable for the hungry soul, and you are always going to have grown when you look back.

Letting go of fear has been the most joyous journey I have ever undertaken. I'm not done yet, but I have made a lot of progress. And, as you are following in my footsteps relatively closely, I can say that I believe you will equal my achievements some day, if not surpass them, in your own way.

Rejoice! Success, my friend, is inevitable.

[mat422]

Mat, in the world there are many different kinds of people. Some are good at one thing, others not so much, but good at another. When the majority of people are operating at level X, and you are operating at level Y, and have limited-to-no contact with others operating at level Y, it gets lonely, and you may fall into the trap of assuming you should be just like everyone else, and judging yourself against them, and never being satisfied.

It's a bit like the ugly duckling, actually. Usually the rare ones are the more advanced ones, the more capable ones, the ones here to help "the rest" get further along than reality TV and the like that they are so addicted to. I believe that we have exceptional skills and abilities and senses and awarenesses, and we are here to act as examples and to guide those who don't yet have those skills, abilities and awarenesses developed into a state where they do have them developed.

We tend to suffer a great deal in the process, though, because there's no instruction manual. Realizing these things requires that we first become strong enough within. It's only when the ugly duckling realizes that in its uniqueness is its beauty and strength, that it begins to take flight and display itself as it truly is.

In the end, it's a learning experience for everyone involved. You, at least, have the Internet, and access to others who are similar, and can guide and encourage you. I did not have the Internet, growing up. Or cell phones, or cable TV, or subliminals, or even friends. I had to learn all this the hard way. It seems that my lot has always been to do it the hardest way possible, and then show others how to do what I learned and make it easier for them.

Be grateful for the eases you do have, and remember that you are unique among your peers, and that in being unique, you can only compare yourself to you. And when you start doing that, you'll realize that you can only be succeeding, because growth is inevitable for the hungry soul, and you are always going to have grown when you look back.

Letting go of fear has been the most joyous journey I have ever undertaken. I'm not done yet, but I have made a lot of progress. And, as you are following in my footsteps relatively closely, I can say that I believe you will equal my achievements some day, if not surpass them, in your own way.

Rejoice! Success, my friend, is inevitable.

Thanks Shannon. I am incredibly grateful for the vast information at my fingertips these days. And even more so for your dedication to these subliminals.

I frequently have a feeling that the subliminals haven't done anything and that I'm just deluding myself. But I've since recognized it's no different than the negative self talk that keeps me down. I move at a slow pace, but I do grow. And I'm going to try to focus much more on not comparing myself. Instead of taking my personal achievements and comparing them to others, I'll keep them for myself and only myself and grow from them and be happy that I have come as far as I have.

I always love your thoughts Shannon. They help me out when I'm in a bit of a slump.

[Shannon]

We aim to please.

[mat422]

Decided to go see a therapist. I still have to see which ones my insurance covers. Hopefully I can get a decent one. That's the thing about therapists, it's really hit or miss.

I figured I'm better off trying that not trying at all. Worst case scenario I'm back to square one. Best case scenario I get better. I don't really have much to lose. Worth a shot I think.

I kind of forgot how long I've been listening to the overcome fear sub. Probably gonna check that out after I'm don't posting here. It's really small changes. But I have a tendency to get easily overwhelmed and I'm not sure if that's fear or just a lot of confusion. I've just been thinking about life lately and the matrix we live in. I think if I was completely above it, I'd be happy. But it really sucks seeing things, but still not having that ability to overcome it. Not that I feel like it's hopeless, it's just a feeling of being stuck. It's kind of like not really having much direction on top of dealing with the social anxiety and depression that comes along with it. So I feel like once I lose some of that I'll start seeing things more clearly.

[Shannon]

It is very frustrating seeing the matrix, and understanding things that can be done with it, and not having the energy or skill to do those things. I find myself responding that way frequently.

[mat422]

It is very frustrating seeing the matrix, and understanding things that can be done with it, and not having the energy or skill to do those things. I find myself responding that way frequently.

I think maybe it goes along with my high standards for myself. I feel like since it's an environment I live in I should do something about it. But then I stop to think what could I actually do? Then my brain goes a thousand miles a minute and before I know it, I've forgotten that it's way more important to take care of myself first.

Maybe it's just me projecting and trying to rationalize my own anxiety. But I wonder if the collective feelings of people in the U.S. can result in a general vibe that people pick up on. Sort of like animals picking up on impending natural disasters. But could also be me being delusional, sometimes when things feel bad your whole perspective on life gets twisted up.

[mat422]

Well today I scheduled an appointment for a therapist. I submitted a form through his website, which honestly made things a hell of a lot easier for me. Not sure if I mentioned this anywhere else, but I've got a lot of anxiety when it comes to phones. I don't know what it is, but I actually have less anxiety talking to someone in person. Making a phone call actually causes my heart to race if I don't know the person. And while we are on the topic of phobias I also have an intense fear of worms haha.

Anyway, I'm gonna keep an open mind. At the very least just taking this small step has improved my mood a bit. Thinking about it now, I went almost a year without alpha. I want 5.0 so bad, but I just don't have the money. Maybe some scratch off lottery through the law of attraction could help me out in my time of need? haha. But as much as I love these subliminals, I'm a real diamond in the rough. I need all the help I can get.

Whenever I see a story about someone overcoming their problems and saying that you have control over your own mind and you just need to will it to happen, I feel bad. I tend to think that I'm different and that what I'm dealing with is harder. I don't understand why I can't just let this stuff go or overcome it. Is it me being pessimistic and feeling like I can't change and that being a self fulfilling prophecy? Do I just need a kick in the butt and to man up? Am I too sheltered? All I know is I can get paralyzed and overwhelmed when I've got too much to deal with. I'm just trying to take things one step at a time and not getting ahead of myself.

[Alec]

I know what you mean about talking on the phone. I suck at it so it's always awkward haha.