USLM v4.2 - Using What I've Got to Get What I Need

[ReconGunner]

Interim update:

Last night, while struggling with sleep, I had an insight relative to @Shannon 's comments on manifestation here and here. Specifically, that I violated that "silence is golden" rule at least twice in my life and the result was exactly as described: I was thwarted in my goals. Funny thing is, I wasn't consciously trying any specific manifestation technique. I was simply too open about my goals and my progress toward them. And that was enough to cause resistance and events that not only prevented me from reaching my goals in each case, but threw me out of the context so that I could not recover and resume progress.

This came on USLM. That's a powerful sign of progress towards success and towards removing internal obstacles to "luck". I know USLM v4.2 doesn't have the best reputation, but it's doing something for me.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 7
ASRB2 6:1

A day late. Yesterday was another not-so-good day. Not as bad as previous, thankfully. Just feelings of inadequacy, lack of external progress, etc. Today is much better.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 8
ASRB2 6:1

Followed up on some contacts for veterans' assistance. No emergency; just resume review, job search assistance, etc. Finally going to apply for disability - probably no more than 10%, which will still enable a lot of benefits. Should start that process at the beginning of next month.

A minor reflux incident or two - just enough to wake me up, but nothing I had to get out of bed to deal with. No really bad days.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 9
ASRB2 6:1

More minor reflux.

A bit of "luck". Had a household repair that could have been major turn out to be the least expensive part possible. And had some recruiter contacts that appear promising. Followups should be coming this week.

[Shannon]

Sounds good to me. I have not had much "luck" lately. lol

[ReconGunner]

Sounds good to me.  I have not had much "luck" lately.  lol

The job search hasn't been very "lucky", though. That's just a grind. But like you said recently, putting the work in is what gets the results.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 10
ASRB2 6:1

One month left on this run. Starting to see some progress in my job search, but nothing immediate. Grind on!

In general, I had a sense today of "getting over the hump". Whether that's my subconscious dropping resistance to USLM or just general conditions all around, I can't say for sure. But there's a sense of "the worst is past", at least in the immediate.

[ReconGunner]

Supplemental

Last night I had a type of dream that I haven't had in a long time - I dreamed that I was back in the Army and had gotten orders to transfer to a new base and assignment. The difference this time is that my wife was also in the dream rather than me being by myself. Otherwise, the dream was similar - having to get my gear packed, facing a change of responsibilities, etc. But the emotional tone of the dream felt more controlled and less frantic, even though I was on a very short timeframe.

Food for thought.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 11
ASRB2 6:1

Last night was the rest night for this cycle. I did not sleep well. I was wrestling with some dark thoughts and memories. Not all of it is resolved, but for some of it I came away with a different perspective, where I recognized that I had misinterpreted the events as failures.

In my job search I have come to a comforting realization. I'm OK with settling into a more routine role in my career, because I also want to stand up that side gig. A routine role would leave physical and mental energy available to get the side gig going.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 12
ASRB2 6:1

Another night of wrestling, this time mid-cycle. The job search grind hits me hard. There's always a running "how did I get here and how could I have avoided it" thread in my mind, it seems. I'm definitely ready to move forward, but the external obstacles are still insurmountable.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 13
ASRB2 6:1

A day late. Was busy with general stuff.

Internals - continuing to wrestle with past events. Feels less like I'm going in circles, and more like turning events over and discarding them - not to deny my past, but to put it to rest.
Externals - currently have three job opportunities active. Of course, the least interesting of the three is the most active as of today. Even that one would be suitable, though.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 14
ASRB2 6:1

And that's it for this run.

Late this cycle I discovered that I made a major error in automating this run. I had over half an hour gap between loops the entire time. I changed that for the last two nights of this run, and wound up wrestling with a lot of dark stuff - perceived failures and resentments regarding them.

I'm going to take a break now. At least two weeks, and maybe a month. Current plan after that is to run this again with the correct setup.

[ReconGunner]

Supplemental

Based on this: https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-Deepe...?pid=26560 I may extend my break until OSC is available.

[ReconGunner]

Rest Week 1

Based on further comments by Shannon, it looks like I shouldn't wait for OSC 6G. So I'll give it at least one more week of rest. Might run ASC 5G after that, might run USLM 4.2 again.

I've had some possible bloom from USLM 4.2 this past week.

External: I now have a new job. It's the 'least interesting" one, but it came up in my estimation as a result of the interview, so no complaints. Working through background checks.
Internal: In the middle of the week, after I accepted the offer on the new job, I started having - or remembering - vivid dreams. The first one was particularly interesting. In that one, I was going back to grad school for additional study. It was similar to my "back in the Army" dreams, but in that completely different context. The others have been less noteworthy, other than their vividness.