OFv3 - Only I will Remain...Reloaded

[NOMAD]

Day 35 (cont'd)

Despite my lack of sleep and an extra 3 loops, I'm not nearly as tired as I thought I'd be this evening. I'm not up for running a marathon or anything, but I'm not exhausted.  Although I feel like I could keep going, I don't want to push the envelope too hard and find myself barely being able to function tomorrow.  So I'm starting a two day break. If I find myself at day five of listening during the next cycle, I might try pushing it then.

I've been in a really good mood today. I had one person comment that I'm always smiling. That isn't exactly true, but it was an interesting observation.

[NOMAD]

Day 36

I slept really well last night. This was the deepest sleep I've had in a long time.

It's early morning and I've already craved loops today. I've also experienced some anxiety over something very small. There's a good chance I'll start my loops again tonight. That will have amounted to a 5:1 ASRB2. The week before was a 3:1 if I recall correctly. It's looking more and more like my usage us going to be geared toward more exposure time than equal parts on/off.

[NOMAD]

Day 36 (cont'd)

I didn't think to report this until now,  but I've been freezing lately.  I'm typically a very hot natured person. I never get cold and very rarely wear anything more than a light jacket. But, for the past couple of weeks I have to grab  a blanket and cover up. Meanwhile, my wife (who is typically cold) is comfortable.

It just occurred to me today that this is probably because of blood vessel constriction, which is a direct response to overcoming fear. My hands are never cold, but today my fingers feel like ice cubes. Meanwhile I feel great emotionally.

[NOMAD]

Day 36 (cont'd part 2)

After getting used to the convenience of the ultrasonic format, I really hadn't considered using the hybrid format again until I saw that Kol had used it and that the difference was very noticeable. That got me interested in hybrid again and I'm running my first loop now. I'm 10 minutes in and I agree that the difference is immediately obvious. There's more 'pressure'. I like it.

I took a night off last night but I think I probably should've kept going. I'm eager to see whet the hybrid format is capable of now. I'll continue with three loops since that's my latest frame of reference.

[NOMAD]

Day 37

Format Change

I switched the format from ultrasonic at a volume of 13/15 on a Samsung Galaxy S8 phone to hybrid over earbuds at a volume of 9/16...3 loops. The feeling was that my brain became almost totally tuned in to the audio and nothing else. It was very similar to being in a meditative state with the audio as the focal point. Usually, I do some relaxation exercises, visualizations, etc. to help me wind down from the day. While listening to hybrid, that wasn't happening. As I said, the audio (nothing more) was the focal point. It felt similar to a good brainwave entrainment track, but more dialed in. It's almost like there was an invisible barrier that kept by mind from venturing outside the confines of the audio. It's possible that the processing of all the audio didn't leave much capacity for anything else.

At one point, my body felt like it was vibrating, but not in a buzzing sense. It felt like waves of energy were washing through me starting at my right shoulder and flowing toward the lower left portion of my body. I'm pretty sure my body was rocking slightly. It tends naturally to rock/sway when I go into a deep meditation. I also got the distinct feeling that my body was somehow absorbing the audio. That's an odd way to describe it, but it's as accurate as I can articulate. I really enjoyed the experience. The downside is that I couldn't sleep.

I plan on trying hybrid again tonight and see how it goes. I appreciate @Kol for posting his experience. Although it used to be my standard format of choice, I hadn't even considered hybrid for OFv3 until I read the post in his journal.

[MagicalAlchemist]

Looking forward to your journey with hybrid format, it seems appealing if it works for you, and want to change it immediately if it works.

I want to change it to hybrid but too afraid because changing one variable, make's me unstable emotionally and can triggering anxiety and panic attacks.

[Kol]

Day 37

Format Change

The feeling was that my brain became almost totally tuned in to the audio and nothing else. It was very similar to being in a meditative state with the audio as the focal point. Usually, I do some relaxation exercises, visualizations, etc. to help me wind down from the day. While listening to hybrid, that wasn't happening. As I said, the audio (nothing more) was the focal point. It felt similar to a good brainwave entrainment track, but more dialed in. It's almost like there was an invisible barrier that kept by mind from venturing outside the confines of the audio. It's possible that the processing of all the audio didn't leave much capacity for anything else.

At one point, my body felt like it was vibrating, but not in a buzzing sense. It felt like waves of energy were washing through me starting at my right shoulder and flowing toward the lower left portion of my body. I'm pretty sure my body was rocking slightly. It tends naturally to rock/sway when I go into a deep meditation. I also got the distinct feeling that my body was somehow absorbing the audio. That's an odd way to describe it, but it's as accurate as I can articulate. I really enjoyed the experience. The downside is that I couldn't sleep.

I plan on trying hybrid again tonight and see how it goes. I appreciate @Kol for posting his experience. Although it used to be my standard format of choice, I hadn't even considered hybrid for OFv3 until I read the post in his journal.

Mannnn, I appreciate the shout out! Also, this is exactly my experience.

[Kol]

Looking forward to your journey with hybrid format, it seems appealing if it works for you, and want to change it immediately if it works.

I want to change it to hybrid but too afraid because changing one variable, make's me unstable emotionally and can triggering anxiety and panic attacks.

 My experience with hybrid is, yes, I had moments that I thought I was getting a panic attack, short feeling of terror, the whole heartrate, sweating, feeling in my chest, but hybrid did soothe me in a guiding way through the process, in a slightly disconnected way. I was in it, yet not. Probably the shielding. You will be fine. Welcome new territory. 

You are describing the exact same reasons I had lol, like, hybrid being to much, this fabled life changing mythical format    its an experience running hybrid, I leave it at that

[NOMAD]

Day 38

Continuing with the hybrid format, I lowered the volume by one click last night. I got an amazing night's worth of sleep. The tradeoff is that the experience was less intense. Either way, I have no doubt that hybrid is going to be more effective for me. I was able to handle 5 days of 3 ultrasonic loops. I don't think that's going to be the case with hybrid. After two days of hybrid, i feel like i need a break.

[NOMAD]

Day 38 (cont'd)

Two nights of 3 hybrid loops have kicked my butt. I've been ready for bed since about 11am. I'll be taking a break tonight and probably tomorrow night as well.

If I was to describe the ultrasonic format as cleaning a dirty object by pouring a pitcher of water over it, I'd have to describe the hybrid format as scrubbing that object with a Brillo pad.

[NOMAD]

Day 40

After a two day break, I'll resume my loops tonight. Three loops of hybrid is too much (for now), so I plan on backing the loops down to two.

I haven't experienced any anxiety or fear, but my brain feels congested from all the input.

[NOMAD]

Day 41

I  woke up this morning burning up. I had to kick the sheets off of me. I'm also trembling right now. Whatever I'm dealing with beneath the surface obviously scares the shit out of me. I can feel whatever it is right in the center of my chest. It feels like I'm having a panic attack underneath, but is muffled so that I'm only mildly aware of it.

[GreekGod22]

Day 41

I  woke up this morning burning up. I had to kick the sheets off of me. I'm also trembling right now. Whatever I'm dealing with beneath the surface obviously scares the shit out of me. I can feel whatever it is right in the center of my chest. It feels like I'm having a panic attack underneath, but is muffled so that I'm only mildly aware of it.

I am playing my hybrid OFv3 loop right now and feel exactly what you describe. I feel the center of my chest energetically active, my heart beating faster.

[NOMAD]

Day 42

I had some pretty intense anxiety when I woke up this morning, but it faded as I began my day. Tonight is my first night off. I'm not sure if I'll stick with two loops when I resume listening.

For the past few weeks, I haven't been drinking as much coffee. I used to have 3-4 cups a day. Now, 2 cups is pushing it. I'm finding that I don't need it. If it's sub related, my guess is that I have less fear siphoning off my energy.

Anti-social tendencies are still going strong. I find myself getting annoyed with people (even folks I like) over small stuff.