09-15-2019, 12:06 PM
Update :
Nightmares after Nightmares- 4-5 Days in a row.
Dreams involving me running barefoot, being held as hostage, Dying in an apocalyptic event...
While I am seeing a giant wave of Tsunami triggered by an Asteroid hitting surface. I am just standing there and can feel all the fear inside.. Just standing there and thinking " So this is what death feels like, so this is how life ends, no refuge no nothing.. This will be over in a matter of seconds and I won't even feel anything."..
My weight has increased from 65 to 72 kg.. I remember being this one of my unconscious goals.
After seeing all these scenarios in dream related to fear, guilt and shame,specially fears (thanks to FRM)...I feel very different. I feel as if I don't give a damn about this world or life but at the same time I do.
It's level where you wake up and choose to do the thing cause you know you have to cause just sitting there and doing unproductive shit doesn't feel satisfying anymore... I mean seriously what in the world I am gain by wasting time..
I new sense of emotional maturity I guess. Neither excited nor nervous.. Nothing surprises me anymore.. Nothing..feels as if I already knew all this subconsciously so nothing is surprising anymore.
Just doing my job.. Like all the other thing are in this universe/multiverse.
Nightmares after Nightmares- 4-5 Days in a row.
Dreams involving me running barefoot, being held as hostage, Dying in an apocalyptic event...
While I am seeing a giant wave of Tsunami triggered by an Asteroid hitting surface. I am just standing there and can feel all the fear inside.. Just standing there and thinking " So this is what death feels like, so this is how life ends, no refuge no nothing.. This will be over in a matter of seconds and I won't even feel anything."..
My weight has increased from 65 to 72 kg.. I remember being this one of my unconscious goals.
After seeing all these scenarios in dream related to fear, guilt and shame,specially fears (thanks to FRM)...I feel very different. I feel as if I don't give a damn about this world or life but at the same time I do.
It's level where you wake up and choose to do the thing cause you know you have to cause just sitting there and doing unproductive shit doesn't feel satisfying anymore... I mean seriously what in the world I am gain by wasting time..
I new sense of emotional maturity I guess. Neither excited nor nervous.. Nothing surprises me anymore.. Nothing..feels as if I already knew all this subconsciously so nothing is surprising anymore.
Just doing my job.. Like all the other thing are in this universe/multiverse.