DMSI 3.3.2 - of becoming and being a G

[Kol]

To heal all sexual trauma and clear all the junk out of my head. To be free, spontaneous, connecting, abundant and on top of my a-game. Basically flowstate leading to sex and be comfortable in my own skin, like water.

[Kol]

Heh...I dont want Shannon to hype up the next installment of DMSI. Im all in for the surprises. If it is as strong as it will be, it will train-bulldoze it anyways and fill up my mind. Surprise me.

Running my third loop. Was sick and tired of it all. Now im recignizing I was impatient.

Anyways, Im feeling tendrils shooting full circle away from me, im the centre, sniperin

Also, tons of mindmovies going on. Im having a 6th sense and its telling me tons of women are getting of in fantasy XD Ive soft-blocked M, she till this day seeks contact but I know how it went last time. Lay would be 100%

Also having a sort of mental booklet with all my past girls going on. I want to contact them all and throw a massive orgy.

[Kol]

For anyone experiencing brainfog, blurry vision, stress, this might help. It seems to fix my sight atleast as my eyes seem to be way more tired lately and focus just seems to diffuse at times

https://us.discovericl.com/blog/the-5-step-eye-massage

Massages are always welcome right?

[StridingStrider]

Massages are always welcome right?

Only if it has a happy ending

[Kol]

Ofcourse

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Resisty kind of day. Knowing running loops will eventually getting through this, yet im frustrated. Needy, validation seeking, having fears coming up, jelousy, feeling im "waiting" so to say. Like im never enough. It seems my subconscious is not happy at all. Im feeling pissed, sad, impatient, agression, locked up. I want to go out yet am sabotaging. Feeling kinda pussy. Idk man, its an entanglement of depression I guess. Just the whole growing pains get me bummed out. Point is, I dont want to quit running loops at all.

I wonder if there is an punishing aspect going on, re-enactment of trauma. All these fears are just not making sense, when standing still with it, its revealing how ridiculous it is.

Heh, to think fear is an conductor to shadow work, like the altered state allows me to go in.

J is delivering herself on a silver plate, yet my a game is nowhere to be found. Its something internal and watching guys go simping and all that stuff, makes me cringe like a mofo. Invest in yourself before say fuck it and go full blown pussy chase. Im literally feelin burning out and there has to be a way to break this negative spell of negative beliefs and selftalk. I even hesitated to post this as it is a whole lot of blah. Again, not owning it up to myself and self dissapointed.

Edit: fucking brainfog
Also dreams become more sexual in nature, I woke up this morning completely aroused and was like "this dream was wild af" there was clearly a lucid aspect to it. It involved a guy explaining something, or atleast transmitting something unspoken to me aswell as a laptop ( something I a am on the hunt for ) the laptop spitted out 2 porn like girls, oozing sexuality in a raw form like they were in a puddle of post sex state, puddle of you know what. It radiated sexual enetgy. Then I woke up as I looked in their eyes.

[Kol]

I feel really good now..masculine, solid. Meditated to release the headache for a bit, nothing fancy. But damn, I saw all fall away as I stayed in Mushin. Initially, when I entered meditation, I sensed/saw energy flashes bursting off from me, like a car being loaded with NOS ( probably? When fire comes out of the exhaust?) After all this work, the only way is forward. Im proud of myself. Hopefull. Fuck all the negative bs. Im a new man. Solid, masculine. At peace even and radiant. It all pays off.

[Yous]

Have you thought in using OF or LTU 6 instead of DMSI. It look like it will work better in general with the FRM. Maybe you did but Last DMSI is coming soon and you wanted thisbone to continue with the next one...

[Kol]

Ive eyed up OF 5.75g, and even MLS, yet im wanting to run the next dmsi installment. Ive thought about switching subs, and running OF. There are just so many subs I want to run.

It also doesnt help im probably in a nofap flatline and things are no longer being muffled away through coping, but through facing. Taking away all escapes is a bitch but worth it.

[Kol]

Head turns are through the roof. Women, men, kids, all of them. They have this happy to see you look in their eyes. This one girl at the checkout was all beaming. Cant remember if its the same one as last time, in which the store was renovating and we had some fun with eachother.

Elderly women and I had a short but good time. We wished eachother a good day, something im doing more, to take some time to appreciate and its nice making eachothers day for a bit.

At work, when being on the road with a coworker, our conversations are like water. Enjoying that. When we arrived, P, of italian descent, started engaging instantly. The vibe was noticable aswell as her heavy breathing and arousal fluster. She was more engaged then I ever saw her.

At the gym, new check in girl. Brown eyes, slim, sex appeal. I made sure to gaze and the attraction was felt. It was really nice, some lustfull vibe from her.

Kids just staring, older kids waving as they look mesmerized. Manager  at work becomes more and untoleratable. Abusing the whole covid thing to assert dominance and bullshit. Makes me stronger to get out of tgat place and to associate with who I want to associate. Pay me more. I want this freedom. Her "boss" doesnt give a fuck, he's all bro-buddy with me for some reason that im like "dude wtf". Hes putting me as a central attention point, on the spot. NDRS seems to work greatly.

I notice a strong VIP vibe. Bodylanguage was pretty bold today, swag, strong, powerfull, no bs, keep going.

Im also started learning french. Polyglot is something I always wanted + it has many benefits. French, spanish, Italian. I can see how DMSI is pushing me to do this as tgey are languages generally considered "romantic" and "sensual".

Had a dream last night. I was in a bunker at some party. It was like an excursion yet there was a festival outside with all kind of harder style music. Guys did what guys do around here, or atleast do as I remember doing in highschool. The competition, pseudo amogging thing, lockerroom behaviour. Anyways, we had sleeping bags and the vibe was pretty clear. I remember questioning where everyone went, and they were outside partying, going all out dancing, enjoying the different styles.

Then, for some reason I encountered 3 girls. 1 girl was beautiful. Her eyes, her smile, energy, face, full dmsi meant to be bubble. We clicked so good.

Also, some guy in the dream started to hit me up in french, saying "excuse moi" , and I was telling him "non" to brush him off.

I woke up feeling pretty good. But damn, that girl, she had this unspoken feminine energy and vibe to her.

I love women. I love life.

[Kol]

Started reading sigma shock. Been a while ( am6 was last ) and it seems my subconscious has held on to it and integrated iteven till now. Feels like picking it up from where it left.

Quick edit: seeing Shannon posting updates on E4 is a pleasant surprise. Something kicks in to gear here and TID seems to be happening ( form/sense of intuition which never fails, like intuitive guidance ) interesting phenomenon TID its always nice to feel it. ( dont question it )

Mightve also explain the rockiness going on this afternoon. It feels, well, like velvet.

[Kol]

Last couple of days im feeling really good. Abundant, sexy, wealthy, manifest-like, powerfull and rock solid. Atm im buzzing with great feelings and abundance. Im actively no bs taking the lead of my life, while simultaneously being aware of different things, seeing the faults and dynamics that took place regarding male-female dynamics. Its a powerfull strong inclination. Once you see, you see.

Im kinda happy tonight is the start of my nights off. Tonight will be my first night without loops.

As an experiment, I ran high loops before settling back into the 4 loop instruction. Things run way smoother now. Guess the high loops are processed, or, atleast are in the process of being processed as of now.

DMSI seems to pick back up on finances/wealth, seduction, escalation and businesss, which is cool. A big chunk has been worked through and old patterns are no longer holding grip. Im no lomger associating with.

Ive found 3 mentors for now. Joe lampton, and the tate brothers. These guys are excellent, thought and outlook provoking, involved in multiple businesses and ventures. Im feeling more powerfull, risk taking, strong and dominant. Im aware of my my impact and influence, even if this means its something to still hone.

Lets see what these 4 days off will do. Im big on action taking reputation and knowing where im going and doing, so yeah.

[Kol]

Im currently watching this as it is pumped with value. 

Meanwhile, internal shifts take place again. Its ongoing. Also, I have re-occuring events going in which I review all my girls, reconnecting to the abundance and shift into it, and I shift to "my girls".

This is interesting as it seems to be DMSI helping me attain design goals. Its shapes my mindset and referrences aswell as my attitude, which also feed in other pillars.

[Kol]

Short update:

Going through lotsa things now, the bare bones so to say, the nitty gritty. Hang ups, atleast they are clear. Multiple times I've been at the place of "this might be the last thing thats standing in the way" hesitation, inequatity, the whole not enough, fears that stiffle me up and make me turn away.

Point is, I dont want to overload my mind with loops. There is a saturationpoint. So, now that my subconscious was begging for another 4 loops after I had finished my 8 day cycle, I proceeded.

Im also considering purchasing OF and E4. Im running OF 4G in the meantime to keep my mind away from overload, yet to handle and deal with these fears ( its the first day, and I already feel levels of freedom and see the ridiculousness of fear and how its like a swamp to me )

Anyways, im sick and tired of this crap. On a positive note, I feel myself pushing towards execution. Im approaching, interacting, being flirty, having big goals that come with it. Direct game of a "take it or leave it" im having fun with it, aswell as am really ballsy. Its just what it is. No downside, she misses out, not me.

If I go to the sneakerstore, and they dont have tgese sneakers, I aint gonna be in ky feelings, being mad. Im going to tge next sneakerstore where they got what I want.

Goal: 30 nr's a week. Its not even a goal as numbers aint the goal. Numbers mean shit. There, I said it. Rotation. Numbers graveyard by having bitches being charged to the game and having new ones in. Im still not fully on this shit 100%, like today, feeling pretty beta regarding J ( note to self, dont run away, fully acknowledge it and feel it, letting shit come up), but thats on me. My fears, my ways, my hangups, issues, feeling uncomfortable to whatever is worked through with. Im the mental point or origin. ME. I. ME. MYSELF. This random girl exposed something within ME. Therefore the bitch was serving ME. In a sense women are teaching me. Therefore direct approach and going out and being social is KEY.

Now, as far as I understand DMSI, the user shouldnt have to do anything, and women initiate, yet, by being active in my social game, it leaks over into other areas of my life, making it my oyster basically and hitting those attraction switches and traits of dominance. Approaching makes me happy. There is also no downside to it. Filter and screen 101.

Its hard to stay positive when a war is going on inside, to keep going through this storm. Anyway, I keep going. Nothing to lose.

Also, to be testimonial, that Im updating now seems to be due to OF. I simply do not give a fuck fears are being plucked 1 by 1.

Fuck waiting for the female. Fuck choosing signals. Go in anyways. If she happens to be snipered, cool. If not, cool. Im selfsufficient and selfulfilled. She is welcome to come along for the ride, but hell naw she aint the centre of my life, that'll be me. So, its a win anyways to go out anyways, get what I want + having DMSI as an added bonus. Im sick and tired waiting for some "magical moment" or anything.

Now that OF 4G is running I also get why Im not running OF 5.75G. Fear. I ran OF 4g before like im now for the time being ( and I know Shannon aint recommending it, but hey, im experimental oriented, unapologetically so, no disrespect to you Shannon ) and its kinda nice. Ofcourse its old tech, but for me, personally, I somewhat need to conscious aware of a sub doing something, otherwise I start to get doubty and discouraged.

So now the shackles feel they are dropping and things progress on smoothly.

Makes me wonder how OF 5.75 would be like. Really dig some journals on here.

[Kol]

Random thought of the day: sex is secundary and a consequence of my game, my inner game. Its a result of my internals.