Guy's UMS Journal

[Shannon]

It sounds like you got pissed off because you interpreted what he said in a negative way without knowing the facts. That was helpful for creating what you wanted, I'm sure.

[guyinlahore]

It sounds like you got pissed off because you interpreted what he said in a negative way without knowing the facts.  That was helpful for creating what you wanted, I'm sure.

I did not interrupt him at all. I listened to what he said just nodded and came back. I did not show any emotion in front of him.

[Shannon]

But did you have all the facts? Did you interpret the communication correctly? Are you sure? I wasn't there, I don't know... I'm asking you. Because I know that if assumption is the mother of all f-ups, then miscommunication is the father.

What I'm saying is, never create the energy of what you DON'T want if you can help it, because that attracts what you DON'T want. And always make sure you are sure you know what is what before responding... because responding negatively without real cause is double bad for you.

[guyinlahore]

But did you have all the facts?  Did you interpret the communication correctly?  Are you sure?  I wasn't there, I don't know... I'm asking you.  Because I know that if assumption is the mother of all f-ups, then miscommunication is the father.

What I'm saying is, never create the energy of what you DON'T want if you can help it, because that attracts what you DON'T want.  And always make sure you are sure you know what is what before responding... because responding negatively without real cause is double bad for you.

I did not get the facts because the annual bonus is due end of this month. My boss only hinted at his limiting powers in way that would suggest that he is trying to get me mentally ready if the bonus is not as per expectation. Either it is true or he is just playing with me, it will be known by 31st of this month.

I did react to his conversation and all day I was upset, angry and quite low inside me and very negative. I came out of it the next morning when I woke up.

[guyinlahore]

Its been a long time since my last post. Overall I was very busy in late December with the holidays, some weddings, relatives at my place and lots of meetups etc etc.

I could not use the sub fro some days like 10 days straight since I was very busy and could get time to listen to 11 hours. I think this was good thing that happened since I saw some good permanent results. When I ran the sub, I felt such a great difference both in terms of my mental feeling and also the overall attitude of other people. When I came out of the room the next morning, everyone looked at me so differently and kinda surprised. People at the my office also looked intrigued and interested in me. I believe now that 3 days gap is not suitable as I am unable to get proper time to absorb the sub. My next session was also after 7 days. I am now thinking to reduce the gap as see if there is any optimum number of break between 3 and 7 days. I also did not experience any headache in the morning.

An old flame of mine got married. I attended the marriage. Lots of emotional turmoil inside me like why I could not got to marry her etc etc? But overall I managed myself with good outside composure and behavior. I have after the event kind of moved on. I have somehow accepted the reality and feel that I may have moved on.

My annual bonus came and it was marginally more than last year. I am not happy about it and was expecting after listening to UMS that it would be much better.

The biggest difference in terms of UMS is that there is an internal shift inside me. Firstly in terms of spending money and analyzing things, I am now holding my money as much as I can.I am rethinking and rethinking about each and every expense. It is not just big items but small items like $1 stuff whether I really need it or not. Secondly people are very friendly and helpful towards me. I was looking to buy something online. A guy was selling a similar item. When I called him it turns out it was slightly different. He called me later and told me where the item was available near my home and in fact went with me to the shop to assist me. I am going overseas to a conference and my boss offered to extend my trip so that I can attend another conference which I am not entitled to.
I have now started to get this feeling that changes inside me have somehow got permanent. I have gotten more fragile. I have also noticed that I do not feel any bit bad about using a cheap things or a small car. I was also thinking about how to setup a second income stream.

[Shannon]

You have gotten more fragile? That means you're now easier to break. I'm confused by that.

[guyinlahore]

You have gotten more fragile?  That means you're now easier to break.  I'm confused by that.

I meant to write Frugal and instead wrote fragile.

[Shannon]

You have gotten more fragile?  That means you're now easier to break.  I'm confused by that.

I meant to write Frugal and instead wrote fragile.

Ah, that makes a lot more sense.

[guyinlahore]

I am still listening to sub after 7 days gap for 8 loops.

Today I came on an international trip. When I landed and came at immigration counter, there was this Russian couple. The girl glanced a t me several times. She was attractive with tight leggings / pants. When I came out of the airport , she was standing there and looking directly at me. I passed by her. I noticed almost the same with another woman. The lady at the immigration counter left the counter and walked very close to me. I seem to be getting more results attracting women with UMS on regular basis.
The thing is when a girl / woman gives attention to me, I immediately freeze and start ignoring her and start focusing on other things.Its like I get afraid and look at something else and focus on something else.
Another thing I  have noticed is I have started to feel more deserving than before,  either my self worth has improved or I am starting to feel more rich and feel.

I have also felt that people treat me better and address me like I am in some sort of senior position or something else and they expect some kind of behaviour  and they do not get it. Its like the outer shell is good but there is nothing inside or the inside is not up to the mark.  I have noticed this with by boss. Sometimes I feel that he is looking for something and I behave differently. Today we went for dinner, and I sat opposite one of the big bosses. I think I ate too much. I dropped some food on the tablet.

[guyinlahore]

I have observed that the sub works best when I have a holiday the next day. It seems to need time to absorb in my body and mind.
I am focusing more and more on
1. Organize and clean up
2. Thoughts about a 2nd source of income from some investment or a side gig
3. Reviewing and curtailing expenses

Things at 1 and 3 are easy to do. For no 2 (extra source of income) I am unable to come up with what to do. I have tried to earn money through some online work in the past but had only nominal success. This thought makes me bit frustrated. I am at a loss as to what to do. I do not know whether UMS will help in this regard or not.
I have tried to do affiliate marketing and selling things on amazon but with nominal success. I get a lot of emails every from people selling courses on how to make money online. I have bought some courses in the past but failed to have any success. One thing which I believe is that I am scared to make a commitment like for example if I need to work on a thing for 3 months for example to see results, I am scared that I will not be able to do it.
I today signed up a newsletter which basically aims enterprenuers to help them build a business. Lets see if it is something helpful or just selling some products.

[guyinlahore]

I did not post for along time as I did not feel like posting anything. I always felt against posting. I did decide on the 2nd source of income and acted on it and earned $5 and then abandoned when my lifestyle changed due to covid-19 lockdown.

I ran UMS till last week and then stopped it to give a break for 2-3 weeks. I had run UMS for 8 loops for one whole week everyday and felt quite tired.

Now I am having these emotions, which used to come to me in my early childhood a lot.

Scenario 1: I read about a plane crash. I keep thinking about and get tears every now and then thinking and feeling sorry. I think how would it like to be that I would have been on that plane and come out as a survivor (later on I heard only 2 people survived). I developed scenarios in my mind, how I survived, how I came to hospital, how I am giving interviews to people and so on. All this time I am tear eyed.

Scenario 2: I was reading a story about a girl who was having an affair with a married man. Family of the married man (his wife, mother and total of 12 persons) broke into the girls home and beat her up. Now the girl is crying and complaining on social media. I am thinking how would it be to be in her place or if I would be present in her home, I might have taken a pistol and shot the people. Now this girl is poor and has no family (no justification for having an affair though) and the man's family is ultra rich and connected to the ruling and the elite class. I am having these thoughts on how would I feel to be in her in place.

I have not felt these thoughts for a long time and especially never once during UMS. Feeling sad and sorry is one thing but being in some else shoes the victim person and spinning these scenarios and being teary eyed is something troubling me.

[Shannon]

For #2, you should remember that just being rich doesn't mean you have to act poorly or be bad, or treat others badly. You don't have to limit yourself because of how they acted.