Mystic Life - LTU 5

[Mystic Pymp]

Day 8 (2)

I feel great. Not too motivated and quite tired but genuinely happy.

On Thursday I'll be leaving with my flatmate and her friends on a trip to the mountains. The goal is not really to hike but simply have fun, drink, talk, watch movies and whatever else comes our way. I like that I decided to go as for me it's choice between action and inaction. In the past I would rather choose the former. Now though I play the cards I'm given rather than calling pass. It's not to say I take initiative as I rarely do it even though I often criticize myself for it.

I will use this chance to do an experiment. It's something I thought about in the past but there was no good reason for it. I'll do in now though. Shannon won't be happy but I'm following my gut on this. Once I'm back I'll report on what I've learnt from this experiment.

[Mystic Pymp]

Day 20 (1)

Long time no see guys and girls! Like I said I've been to a trip and said trip got longer than expected. I'm back however and ready to share my finds with you. Like with all my trips that make me break from routine of every day life, now I have many interesting thoughts I may or may not be able to share with you. Nonetheless, let's get started.

This trip had two parts. The first one was with my flatmate and her friends, the second one with my uncle. The second one is relatively boring except the fact that I had opportunity to witness how a man after 30+ years of marriage behaves like after he learns he's been a cuckold for 4 years. Therefore I will focus on the first part.

I said previously I'll do an experiment that will not make Shannon happy and I did. The experiment was to switch for one round of LTU (that is 4 days) from LTU to DMSI. And I did that. And it was fun but nothing major. As you might guess I did this because a beautiful girls will also be at the camp. And she was there. And I haven't noticed one single sign of attraction from her. She was kind and nice though, fun to have around so nothing is wasted. What I liked however is how I felt on DMSI.

I think I have 3 main points to take away from this experience. Take care that it was for a very short time (4 days) and there was interference and all that jazz.

• There is something wrong with this current version of DMSI. I remember that in the past versions (especially 2.4 and 2.5 I believe) listening to DMSI would give me big boosts to morale and confidence. Here? Not so much.
  
• I had little to no success with DMSI 3.3.1, especially compared to my recent successes with LTU. And one good reason for it is that DMSI as it currently is goes against my will. I'm not that interested in being sexually irresistible, there are more important concerns I need to work on. When I listened to DMSI now I almost felt the dissonance. It's not to say it cannot work, it's to say now I realize what a uphill battle that was.
  
• While I'm still conflicted on the topic let me put one thing straight - I do want to find a girlfriend of whatever else you'd like to call it. It would limit my freedom of a single and so on but I do long for it. I am not needy about it however and I still put myself on the first place in the matter.
  

Was the experiment worth it? To learn all of this, yes. But I would not rush to repeat it. I think once new version of DMSI is out I will try it but for now I will enjoy my LTU.

[Mystic Pymp]

Day 21 (0)

This hasn't been one of my best days. Neither was it one of my worst. It was OK. But it certainly was one of the days that seemed... off.

I was supposed to go out of the city to my mom today. I didn't for two reasons. The first one was that she wouldn't answer my calls yesterday, later I have learnt that the family party she attended extended a little bit and she simply didn't hear the calls. Due to that I felt half part unsure and half part angry and with my full part laziness (the second reason) I decided I'd rather sleep longer than wake up early to catch a bus out of the city. When I called today my mom was not happy but she was understanding. I'll be spending entire next weekend with her so me not coming today was not that big of a pill to swallow.

I used my time in the city relatively wisely. I don't want to talk much about it but I'm doing what I would call "sandbox research" on the esoteric stuff. The idea is I research esoteric ideas in fiction (for example in the Elder Scrolls series) so that when I will try to approach more serious IRL stuff I will have experience deciphering obscure language as well as I will have points of comparison to make understanding complicated ideas easier via analogy. After all 

Part of the danger of learning magic is that a lack of thorough knowledge can be dangerous. Learning to assemble an automobile from scratch might seem complex enough, but one small mistake can be disastrous when it comes to driving the vehicle.

I've had enough "be careful what you wish" moments in my life already.

That being said this was was indeed off. Hell if I know, maybe it's some afterglow after DMSI, but two weird things happened. First was a bi-polar girl I've done this whole DMSI experiment for came to my flatmate and by extension to me. We talked briefly but I shared with her my interest with metaphysical and she said a couple of interesting stuff. If something more happens about her and will describe her in more detail. Needless to say she's... interesting? There is something to her. This whole DMSI experiment might yet be worthwhile.

Second thing was during my regular walks I stumbled upon my ex. By that I mean I saw her with the corner of my eye sitting with her new boyfriend on the bench. I pretended I did not see her but she surely must have noticed me. Gods be praised I have good angle of vision xD

The thing with her is I have A LOT of bad blood about her. I believed I described some of it in the past posts but still it would do me good to do a proper 3 A4 pages of 10pt font essay about why I disdain her for how she behaved in our relationship.

Abridged version for now. And it's funny, really. I've had two girlfriends in my life: first one cheated on me and was both drunkard and a stoner. Second one was nice and shy virgin. I forgave the first and for love of anything I know I cannot forgive the second. Do you want to know the reason? The first one was acting according to her nature - I know she'd be like that, I accepted it. Blaming her would be like blaming mosquito for biting me. But the second? She had no Will, she had character of a doormat and I wanted to show how what she's worth. And I failed. I meet her as a doormat and I left her as a doormat.

I see this relationship as my greatest failure EVAH. I'm glad I kept calm and walked away when I spotted her with my peripheral vision, otherwise I might have destroyed her if I was to share my opinion on her. I pity her. No human deserves to be a doormat.

[Mystic Pymp]

Day 22 (0)

I'm sorry. I have forgotten. Again. It is easier to preach than to practice.

I know why this happened. Since June my life had gotten a little bit chaotic. Certainly more so than in April or May. I've spend a lot of time in travel, roughly 1/3 I'd guesstimate. And this is great, I visit new places, meet new people. I'm forced to leave my comfort zone, tried and true way to grow. But because of this my home become little more than a hub for me to live in and prepare for another trial.

At the time when I've been having the greatest successes with LTU my home was The Shrine, dedicated to myself and my Will. I was meditating and discovering myself therein. And I tell myself I still do it but in truth I ain't doing that. I focus on things that in reality trivial, spending my energy and time while things I ought to do are being collected in a backlog that gets bigger and bigger. And my anxiety is proportional to said backlog.

This would be great realization if not for the fact I have my one last trip to make this August. I wish I could just get back to my old mindset but I can't, due to said trip my thoughts are tangled with trivial matters. It's not to say it releases me from responsibility to Myself. It is to say my current modus operandi is not compatible with what I truly Want and before I come back to it I need to stay in the flow of what's to come from outside my comfort zone.

When that time comes, I'll be ready. Putting myself in the front and center again. Learning how to distinguish between Wisdom and excuse. Facing realizations that are not pleasant to face. Admitting that I've been wrong.

But... maybe... it's not a bad thing? There are many lessons to be learnt from experiences of this summer. Foremost being that my habits, my philosophy, they don't survive long when faced with external challenge. And given that the future is unpredictable I should not base Myself in the illusion of control. I should be able to synergize the two - strength within and chaos without my comfort zone. After experiencing both it should be an easy task.

I have no clue how to do this though. How to stay mindful and conscientious when world around you demands from you?

[Mystic Pymp]

Day 22 cont.

I. HAVE. HAD. ENOUGH.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

The longer I think about last 2 months or so the more I realize how lazy I've gotten. Successes made me this way. They clouded my judgement, made me asleep.

This is not LTU's fault. It's my own.

Sub works great but it ain't do much without action. Passive benefits are great and I appreciate them but action is the key. All my travels made me think I do action while tip toeing in place.

I've let excuses rule over me. "You're doing great, you can loosen a bit". Well, f**k, sure I can. But I shouldn't. I should work hard on myself again, grow instead of being content with how I am.

Time is precious and every second is more than I can afford. There are lots of serious challenges ahead of me and focusing on minutia equates to wastage of time.

This is the time and place. The stars are aligning, I feel like this and every moment is magical. I have to grab it and use it, cut myself into a better shape. Potential is there, like a block of marble in front of Michelangelo.

It's almost worst than failing. When you fail, you learn. When you stagnate you don't change, you don't learn, you're as good as dead.

Being your own biggest critic is hard. Especially when you love yourself as I do. But loving yourself means not only forgiveness, it's also as being a parent - strict and demanding but proud of child's accomplishment and wanting child's good above all else.

This is my call to Action - from myself to myself. And I better hear it. I'm not gonna hate myself for failure. I'm gonna hate myself for wasting precious seconds. All my life I've wasted so much time. That loss is the only thing that makes me wanna cry.

[DavisMind91]

Day 22 cont.

I. HAVE. HAD. ENOUGH.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

The longer I think about last 2 months or so the more I realize how lazy I've gotten. Successes made me this way. They clouded my judgement, made me asleep.

This is not LTU's fault. It's my own.

Sub works great but it ain't do much without action. Passive benefits are great and I appreciate them but action is the key. All my travels made me think I do action while tip toeing in place.

I've let excuses rule over me. "You're doing great, you can loosen a bit". Well, f**k, sure I can. But I shouldn't. I should work hard on myself again, grow instead of being content with how I am.

Time is precious and every second is more than I can afford. There are lots of serious challenges ahead of me and focusing on minutia equates to wastage of time.

This is the time and place. The stars are aligning, I feel like this and every moment is magical. I have to grab it and use it, cut myself into a better shape. Potential is there, like a block of marble in front of Michelangelo.

It's almost worst than failing. When you fail, you learn. When you stagnate you don't change, you don't learn, you're as good as dead.

Being your own biggest critic is hard. Especially when you love yourself as I do. But loving yourself means not only forgiveness, it's also as being a parent - strict and demanding but proud of child's accomplishment and wanting child's good above all else.

This is my call to Action - from myself to myself. And I better hear it. I'm not gonna hate myself for failure. I'm gonna hate myself for wasting precious seconds. All my life I've wasted so much time. That loss is the only thing that makes me wanna cry.

Excellent epiphany

[Mystic Pymp]

Excellent epiphany

Thank you, that was indeed an inspired piece of work...

Day 23 (1)

... and I believe I need to contextualize it a little bit.

I am angry at myself for because I've gotten lazy. That is obvious and it takes little attention to notice. It's all about why I've gotten lazy.

After my previous, quite successful run of DMSI I know that I can be very productive, I can develop new habits and fight my bad ones. The issue is for that I seem to need controlled environment. In other words I need to lock myself up in my room so that I'm not bothered by other issues, mainly other human beings. So, control. I need control to grow and develop.

But life is chaotic. Outside of your comfort zone is the whirlpool or entropy we call Life. And Life is not going to sit by and wait until you're ready to leave your safe nest. It's gonna bash your door in and kick you in the balls when you least expect it.

I cannot allow myself to be a person who is only productive and happy when under controlled environment. I need to embrace the Chaos, embrace Life. My latest epiphany is proof of how I failed in that quest.

And this is where my confusion between "excuse" and "wisdom" comes in. Is my will to alienate and focus 100% on myself an act of wisdom? That would do me good, I'll lose weight faster, learn more, so better. Or is it an excuse? To pretend that I do something while my life passes by and I'll be left jaded and unforgiven?

And I... I just don't know. I wish I knew. But no matter how much I meditate, how much I dig through my motives and emotions, the truth escapes me. And when faced with the logic, given I cannot disprove "excuse" hypothesis, I must assume it true. Thus the epiphany.

What will I do with this? I don't know yet. For now I have my one last trip to do and then, starting in early September, I will have 4 months of pretty much total control over my life. This will be in autumn, the most depressing season of the year for me, so strict rules and self improvement will work great then. But what about winter? Well, I don't know. I guess I'll have to force myself and start facing life again. If all goes well by that time I will simply run out of excuses not to do it.

To see this principle in action please consider what I want concerning relationships. There is part of me who wants to have a girlfriend. You know, sex and emotions and all that goodies ^_^ And while this part grows stronger as I'm getting more and more confident and self-assured, it's suppressed by "I don't want it" part of me. Why does this part even exist? I believe it's because relationships are chaotic. They are unpredictable and they require your attention that might be better spend elsewhere. I don't need that right now so I engage in self-denial. This also might be the reason why for the love of holy cannot seem to be able to fight my masturbation habits. Between chaos of relationships and wasting your time watching women being f**ked by other men the second option almost seems like a lesser evil.

How long this bubble of Concord will hold?

[Mystic Pymp]

Day 25 (0)

I love stupid tangents my mind pushes me into. A disclaimer - in this post I'll be talking about mental illnesses I know diddly-squat about, if I stay something wrong (or even offensive) please correct me on this thread or via PM.

OK, so yesterday I met with my friend. I decided to share with him my overblown Steam library as I rarely play video games nowadays. But today I thought "well, why don't I play video games?"

Answer for that is at first trivial - they are a waste of time. Truth I think is a little bit more complicated and has to do with the fact that I simply don't enjoy them as much and it's hard for me to give a single game enough attention to make other "useful" aspects of gaming (learning, training dexterity and problem solving, enjoying good story) worthwhile. That being said I decided I could use some fine game to play. And I found it.

For those who don't know "Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice" is a game about Celtic warrioress (female warrior?) going through psychosis. I won't tell more as it's fine game indeed. I ended up not playing that much of the game as frame rate even on medium settings was disastrous and one also needs good headphones to really enjoy this game. So full play-through is postponed up until I buy myself nice gaming laptop in a month or so.

That lead me to thinking about my mental health. OK, I know I don't have psychosis, once in my life I've heard a voice and I was little kid back then, now I'm not even sure if that was not simply a dream or maybe my grandpa from the next room over. I'm also quite sure I don't have schizophrenia. Nor chronic depression. Only once in my life did I have suicide thought and it passed after like 5 minutes. I have my anxieties, but nothing major compared to my friends and I've made huge progress dealing with them with likes of LTU and AM6. Lastly my memory is quite good and my senses are sharp.

So I'm pretty alright then?

I'd say... yeah, sure, but I'm scared about one thing. Delusions. I have a couple of tendencies I am a little bit scared of. I keep them in bay by contact with other people and this is one more reason not to lock myself in my room. Right now I have steady stream of interaction with my flatmate but I will not live with her forever. This is probably the best reason to find a girlfriend - to have someone who will check your delusions.

When I think of delusions I have two particular in mind. First one is "making sense of the world" delusions. So, things like conspiracy theories or thinking communism is good idea. And yes, I've had episodes with both and I've grown out of them through the power of reason. Second, more dangerous kind if "I'm the center of the world" delusions. And I'm prone to them every now and there. I am so aware of those in fact that I openly share my newly renewed interest in occult with others so that I always check if I don't believe in something stupid.

Sometimes someone must explain to you that coincidence is just a coincidence, no matter how neat it all fits together and how special it makes you feel.

[mat422]

Hellblade is a great game. I still haven't beat it, but I had to take a break from it because it got very heavy at times.

For what it's worth I don't think those are heavy delusions or anything to worry about. If you don't have schizophrenia in your family or any diagnoses of it you don't have anything to worry about. Consider this though, a lot of people are under delusion as to what life is. Following routines, authority figures, just regurgitating everything they've been told. The true delusion is when people think they know everything there is to know about how the world works and shut themselves out from any new experiences. Predominately fueled by their fears. I think it's healthy to entertain ideas outside the realm of what most people believe. But as you discovered you have to test them, you can't just blindly believe things.

Interesting fears though. My question would be? Do you trust yourself? Or do you constantly seek reassurance from others to "ground" you?

[Mystic Pymp]

Hellblade is a great game. I still haven't beat it, but I had to take a break from it because it got very heavy at times.

For what it's worth I don't think those are heavy delusions or anything to worry about. If you don't have schizophrenia in your family or any diagnoses of it you don't have anything to worry about. Consider this though, a lot of people are under delusion as to what life is. Following routines, authority figures, just regurgitating everything they've been told. The true delusion is when people think they know everything there is to know about how the world works and shut themselves out from any new experiences. Predominately fueled by their fears. I think it's healthy to entertain ideas outside the realm of what most people believe. But as you discovered you have to test them, you can't just blindly believe things.

Interesting fears though. My question would be? Do you trust yourself? Or do you constantly seek reassurance from others to "ground" you?

As per delusions of others I agree but also disagree. It's such an easy thing to fall into thinking in lines of "All those people are sheep and I am AWARE and the most cleverest!". I know because this line of thinking fueled my obsession with conspiracy theories 10 years back or so.

But the truth is you are right - most people with in delusions. Like "hard work is a virtue". LOL it ain't! Clever work, yes - do as much as possible with as little effort. But hard? Nobody became more noble for doing overtime. And there are tens of other examples. All these make people safe and are convenient justifications. We all must make sense of why our lives are not as perfect as we'd like them to be.

Problem I was talking about arises when you make your own delusions instead of one from the "society's official list of accepted facts of life".

Except for cases of alcoholism and family abuse in my extended family (uncles, cousins etc.) there is nothing special about my family mental-wise. Not even Alzheimer's. My cousin's son is on a autism spectrum but that's singular case. So I am not scared that I might have "crazy gene" for lack of a better term.

My fears come from listening to Jordan Peterson I think. In his lectures he poses this theory (that I do agree with) that society - your family, friends, coworkers etc. in particular - serves to keep individual sane. It does it by pointing out bad habits, incorrect thoughts and so on AND it provides alternatives - what you ought to do instead of doing and thinking whatever you do in solitude.

In short society does reality check on you - there is more in this world than just YOU.

I see this in my mother right now. After my dad died she started to seclude herself. There are reasons for that but she does this way too hard. Except for family gatherings all her interactions with fellow men are: at work, the supermarket on the way home and me calling her each evening. And it pains me to see her being so unable and unwilling to go out there. And it scares me what might happen if this continues. What if she becomes one of those crazy old ladies?

There is more to it and I might need to elaborate more on the topic some time later. At any rate I do believe one needs others to "be sane". Am I in danger? No, not right now. Far from it in fact. But if I CHOOSE to become a hermit, pariah of self-imposed exile, then I'll be in danger. So it's better for me not to try being in control 100% 24/7. I must embrace chaotic and infinitely beautiful world of human interaction. Home should be my shrine, not my monastery of solitude.

[Mystic Pymp]

Does anyone remember the formula used during stating your (up to 3) goals in LTU? I'm either blind an stupid as I cannot find it in the official instructions or it's simply not there anymore.

[Mystic Pymp]

Day 29 (0)

Tonight I'm pulling out all-nighter which is my term for not going to sleep. Reason is simple - I screwed up my biological clock big time and I need to readjust it. This means that, unless I figure out something fun to do in that time, I will have lots of time to think and maybe post some of this stuff on this forum. Backlog of topics to touch here is growing and it could use some release.

This weekend I went to my mom's as there was family gathering on Saturday - 18th birthday of my cousin's son. It was joined party for family and big guy's friends so my plan was simple. Aided by my ability to drink shittonne of alcohol I aimed at drinking with my family first and then, when they pass from the game, I go ahead and drink with the youth. And the plan succeeded although it killed my biological clock and frankly I still feel a little bit sick as I still didn't manage to restore my vitamins and minerals to their proper levels.

I had fun with the youth (to be honest saying youth sounds strange, there is only 7-8 years of difference). I wasn't trying to be cool or anything but I gained their respect simply by talking with them about my experiences about University and later my interests. They coined me "Uncle Mystic" xD

There was this one girl trying to hit pretty hard on me. I indulged her but done nothing for my part. My drunk self recounts her as quite pretty but let's consider 3 things:

• Hitting on a girl much younger than you is not a good idea in general
  
• Hitting on a girl completely drunk is not a good idea in general
  
• I really, really don't want to complicate my life with relationships and I'm not interested in casual encounters.
  

Still, thought alone makes me smile. Since I lost some weight I do feel more sexually attractive and this feeling will only grow with time. I think next year around early spring I'll be ready, physically and mentally, to open myself up big time. Who knows, maybe by that time I'll have DMSI 3.3.2 to back me up...

[Mystic Pymp]

Money

There is something I didn't share with you although perhaps I should have but, like it's often case with me, I wanted to make sure things will work out for me. So... LTU paid itself for me. I was supposed to as it has "Ultra Success/Luck Maximizer" in itself but damn, I didn't expect that.

How did this happen? It happened because Lufthansa screwed up something and my flight to Japan came late. What's funny is it did not complicate any of my plans, if anything it shortened time wasted on waiting as we were scheduled way ahead of time. So it scored me 600 euro which is more than 600 dollars I paid for LTU. Hurrah!

However, now that I have mentioned it I have finally opened the Pandora's Box of "What Mystic thinks about money". I have avoided this topic for a long time and for a good reason. Because I am extremely conflicted on the subject.

I grew up in a relatively poor family. Due to upmost efforts of my parents I have never experienced hunger or being cold at night, but up until recently I've never had newest electronics, original clothes, we never ate at restaurants etc. You get it, a decent life but not fireworks. This taught me respect for money, I am not someone who spends money easily and I always save some just in case.

Now that I have transitioned from lower to middle class (or so I tell myself) I earn quite a lot, I have everything I need and more and I can afford things I simply want out of a whim. So I am more than sustainable right now.

But even still when I think about my future I come to conclusion how great it would be if I won million dollars or something like that at the lottery. One reason for it is that I'd love to have a couple of quite expensive things I can't afford or I'm to stingy to spend my savings on. You know, sports car, house in the woods, 5k gaming rig, things like that. Do I need these to be happy? Hell no. But there is part of me who wants these.

But I think deeper thing is me being scared for my security. I believe, falsely, that money buys security. If economy collapses and we burn your bills to keep us warm at night this cash will be worthless. Buy my reasoning goes that I would not be fearful of loosing my job. I love my job, I do what I love and it pays more than well. But I think that in a perfect world I would not do it for money and simply as a hobby. In other words I would continue working but purely for fun and not to pay my bills and buy food.

I believe money is a trap. It cannot buy you happiness. If anything it's easier to find truly happy poor person than rich person. But if are not obsessed and you know when to say "enough" money can buy you peace of mind. And this is why I want to be rich.

The question in my head remains - should I then press my luck and play at the lottery? My answer for now is that I do not know. I think I'll try it a couple of times in the future. I need to give my luck a chance. But I cannot live as if than potential win will buy me happiness I cannot otherwise afford.

[Mystic Pymp]

This mental Versailles

Just a side note, this title comes from song "Drama for Life" by great Finnish band Poets of the Fall. They play quite pleasant rock music and their lyrics are often... poetic. I've been listening to their music for some time now but they gained my attention during current LTU run. I especially owe a lot to their song "In a Perfect World", the sense of hope in this song is just... chilling.

I think calling my mind "Versailles" is apt comparison. I've always been a person of a rich if unorthodox imagination. I'm not that creative. I'm very, very bad at creating new things. But I'm good at analyzing.

I must have mentioned that I'm currently listening to Dune on audiobook. Not to get into spoilers but there is someone called "Kwisatz Haderach" who can pretty much see future by the means of logic and near omniscience. I'm far from omniscient so down the drain goes me becoming gypsy fortune-teller, but my logical deductions sound a lot like these of Kwisatz Haderach. I don't just think what the consequences will be. I can see them, hear them, branching and twisting as I look for the optimal one. Most of the times I don't even realize this is happening, often it happens just there, in the background. But I always analyze, always optimize. Always question everything.

That means when I do something stupid, something going again my "greater good", I always do it knowing the consequences. I just don't care for these consequences.

What LTU gave me is the courage (and possibly tools) to enter this Versailles of mine and explore it. Result of the calculation is only as good and input data. Following this comparison my data was flawed. And it still is but much less so. I am so much more aware of what I want and how and why.

It's unendingly hilarious for me how insignificant it is to think that you want something. You must KNOW. And not only what you want but also every "but" and "however" and "although" that comes with it. Bringing my previous post there is a gigantic difference between "I want to be rich" and "I know I want security riches will bring me, but I don't need more money to be happy".

I wish I could describe process of me meditating and trying to find answer for my questions. After all I think I know what I want and what I fear. But when I get deeper, when I ask myself whys to every statement I often find uncomfortable truths. I wonder how many questions I'm still to fearful to ask myself. But nonetheless I do it and I find it therapeutic. It helps me and, although rarely, with LTU's help and can do effortless changes that before would require a lot of will.

The biggest downside of this entrance to the Versailles of mine is that I became very judgmental to other people. I mean come on, if I can do this why other cannot? It is easy, barely an inconvenience. Move your asses goddammit! But there is a reason a lot of people started looking at me with amazement how I have evolved in recent months. Because it is not easy. I requires a lot of courage to enter the gate. At it requires a lot of knowledge to be aware there is a gate to enter.

I was thinking about this before the recent party. If there was one advice I would give to 18 years old me, what would it be? And the answer was "know yourself". Meditate, ask questions, stand proudly when faced with scary or embarrassing truth and embrace it. Knowledge is power. And without this knowledge it's easy to be powerless against currents of destiny. With this power you can shape the destiny.

"This mental Versailles is much grander than the lies you tell yourself to get through the night."