E3 Journal.

[THolt]

So today I feel down. Not depressed but more like gloomy. It doesn’t help that today is cloudy and rainy. I realized my moods are so dependent on the weather. I want to feel content and happy regardless of the weather.

[Shannon]

So I have ran E3 for the past five days or so and I have noticed some unpleasant emotions coming up mostly concerning low self esteem. It's like I am remembering insults and other incidents that have occurred in the past that have damaged my self esteem and have caused issues for me.  Self esteem and the lack thereof have plagued me constantly so I an looking forward to overcoming this issue.
Today I felt like worse than usual but I am running E3 right now so we will see if a breakthrough occurs today.
This program works very subtly but I feel like it is a chipping away at certain issues I have had for awhile.
I will update if I have any breakthroughs or if I notice anything differently

To feel and acknowledge your pain is the first step to healing it. Feel it fully and it will be healed, E3 will help you to help yourself.

What if that is a limiting belief that is false?  What if there are ways to heal and clear without pain?  That would mean this belief would be limiting you to experiencing unnecessary pain.  We don't know that this is true.  Don't limit yourself unnecessarily.

[Greenduck]

So I have ran E3 for the past five days or so and I have noticed some unpleasant emotions coming up mostly concerning low self esteem. It's like I am remembering insults and other incidents that have occurred in the past that have damaged my self esteem and have caused issues for me.  Self esteem and the lack thereof have plagued me constantly so I an looking forward to overcoming this issue.
Today I felt like worse than usual but I am running E3 right now so we will see if a breakthrough occurs today.
This program works very subtly but I feel like it is a chipping away at certain issues I have had for awhile.
I will update if I have any breakthroughs or if I notice anything differently

To feel and acknowledge your pain is the first step to healing it. Feel it fully and it will be healed, E3 will help you to help yourself.

What if that is a limiting belief that is false?  What if there are ways to heal and clear without pain?  That would mean this belief would be limiting you to experiencing unnecessary pain.  We don't know that this is true.  Don't limit yourself unnecessarily.

It's not really a belief I have, I try to keep an open mind and have seen healing taking place without pain, but I also know that I can't try to avoid negative emotions and hoping they go away, but rather dive into them and let them take over me, without being fearful, rather trying to be curious and investigating. That have helped me a lot.

[Shannon]

So I have ran E3 for the past five days or so and I have noticed some unpleasant emotions coming up mostly concerning low self esteem. It's like I am remembering insults and other incidents that have occurred in the past that have damaged my self esteem and have caused issues for me.  Self esteem and the lack thereof have plagued me constantly so I an looking forward to overcoming this issue.
Today I felt like worse than usual but I am running E3 right now so we will see if a breakthrough occurs today.
This program works very subtly but I feel like it is a chipping away at certain issues I have had for awhile.
I will update if I have any breakthroughs or if I notice anything differently

To feel and acknowledge your pain is the first step to healing it. Feel it fully and it will be healed, E3 will help you to help yourself.

What if that is a limiting belief that is false?  What if there are ways to heal and clear without pain?  That would mean this belief would be limiting you to experiencing unnecessary pain.  We don't know that this is true.  Don't limit yourself unnecessarily.

It's not really a belief I have, I try to keep an open mind and have seen healing taking place without pain, but I also know that I can't try to avoid negative emotions and hoping they go away, but rather dive into them and let them take over me, without being fearful, rather trying to be curious and investigating. That have helped me a lot.

My point being, what we are doing here with these programs has, in many cases, never been attempted or done before.  You cannot know what is or is not possible when we are in uncharted territory.  Please keep that in mind, and be aware of potentially limiting beliefs, expectations, attitudes, etc.

Nothing can be assumed when we are dealing with the cutting edge.  Anything is possible.

[THolt]

So I found I will likely have to do a fairly expensive home repair (new hot water heater). I like doing E3 and getting emotional healing but incidents like this remind me how useful a program like UMS would be.

[THolt]

So today I went to my parents house and I immediately regretted it My dad and stepmom constantly nag me about getting married and having grandchildren.

My dad turned to me "so when am I going to have a grandkid". I despise their entitled attitude like they I owe them a grandchild.
This just reinforces my feeling that I am the blacksheep of the family. Everyone is in a relationship except me. I feel like I am marching to the beat of my drum which isn't bad. I guess its better than following someone else's plan for my life.

Hopefully E3 will enable me to clear out these emotional issues and move forward.

[THolt]

So last night when I listened, I felt some intense self esteem issues come to the surface from over the years. I recalled the moments when I was insulted and remember the pain it causes. I believe I made some progress last night.

I am tempted by USLM4 and UMS but I will stay the course on E3 for now and see what it does.

[Shannon]

Please do stay the course for at least 3 months. I think you will be very glad you did. The other programs will be there when you are finished, trust me.

[THolt]

The one thing I have noticed is that my dreams are really vivid and I can remember them longer than I normally would. Some of my dreams have been strange but I guess its the program working on something.
Also I have slept pretty wel during my E3 run. The sleep disturbance of the first few days has gone. I feel relaxed even.

Looking back, I have made great progress with E3 even though it did not seem like it at the time.

[THolt]

So today was okay.
I went to a work event and interacted with some people but really didn't feel like I hit it off. I feel like I am still struggling with my social awkwardness and anxiety.


I wonder If I will ever overcome this issue. Nevertheless I will still run E3.

[THolt]

So I came across this video on social media today where there was this guy (presumably a multi-millionaire) was talking about how when he suddenly become wealthy, it really didn't change who he was. The same insecurities he possessed before, he still had even after money.

The way he put it clicked for me. Although I want success and wealth, I need to heal myself up emotionally so that I can be happy regardless of my position in life. I do plan to run UMS maybe after a while on E3.

[findingme]

That's a great truth THolt!

[THolt]

Woke up with some hunger pangs today and had a little last night,. I don't know if those are related to the sub or to the heartburn I had last night.

[THolt]

Today I realize I am just emotionally wore out in terms of my job. I am ready to move on to something else. USLM4 is really tempting in that regard but I think this maybe a resistance tactic to keep me from doing E3. I like doing E3 but I wish I was at a better point financially and career wise. I guess I will just soldier on.