Mystic Pymp on DMSI 2.4→2.5→3.0.1A→3.1A/B→3.2A/B→3.3D→3.3.1D

[Mystic Pymp]

I might have sounded angry yesterday and that was because I am. In the past I would feel sad, hopeless, disappointed. I do sometimes feel like that nowadays as well. But for the most part now I feel anger instead of sadness.

It's a coping mechanism I found. The reason is it is easy to turn sadness into anger, and it is not even necessary to direct it towards anything specific. Just a general anger. And the reason for that is because while I feel useless while sad, I can use anger. I can use it be break the circle, to make myself more aware of myself and what I do, both for the better or worse. It makes my flaws and mistakes lay bare. It makes me work on myself in a ways I couldn't do on your average day.

It is not sustainable. Anger can turn into hate or contempt, be it to someone specific, world, life, yourself. That's not good. But for now I will be using this anger. I want to be stronger and more aware because of it.

[Mystic Pymp]

I've been thinking today on whether or not should I run DMSI now. I'll be first to admit that I'm jaded after my relationship ended with disappointment. Such a state is not good ground for goals of DMSI, neither for me nor for the targets. But I realized two things:
* This is some kind of resistance talking and
* I don't need to get into dating and such right away.

You see, most of my friends nowadays are women (there are handful of men I keep contact with tbh) and many of them are women I got friendzoned by. And throughout the years I found that as long as you're not in love or something silly like that it's great to have such friends. I tend to find their companies more enjoyable and simply more fun. So I'd be willing to run DMSI just to expand my circle of female friends. Past DMSIs helped in that anyways. Let me friendzone them now

When I'll be ready for some game (it may happen in a week, may happen in half a year) I'll have some head-start and DMSI offers other stuff as well anyways.

[Mystic Pymp]

I've had strange dream today. I have no idea why but I was counting with how many women I had sex with and I counted 6 or 7 (I wasn't sure in the dream). It's funny given my real count is 3 times smaller. What was interesting though was that I remember counting one person in the list for sure - my female friend living currently with her bf in neighboring country. I don't plan to take this dream seriously but I'll take it as good sign of the things to come

As for DMSI I wait for the new version. Feeling pretty useless now, as I tend to during short winter days.

[Mystic Pymp]

This is probably totally and utterly irrelevant but I've noticed something interesting today. Ever since childhood I remember I was biting my nails and today I've noticed my nails are looking better than ever before. It's so strange for me since last couple of days had been quite stressful and I wasn't giving a single thought about my nails.

Also still waiting for DMSI ^_^

[Mystic Pymp]

I'm not sure if it's TID or what but I noticed a little bit of change in my behavior. Last few days/weeks hit me quite hard but I started to be much more confident and productive recently. I got calmer, much less anxious and more confident. What's more I managed to solve a problem I've been struggling with for almost a year which gave me huge boost to my self confidence.

[Mystic Pymp]

What a day! DMSI 3.3 is out, Avengers trailer is out, what's more gonna happen

I'm gonna listen to DMSI 3.3 tonight and start the journal proper. All the DMSI 3.3 runners, I wish you best of luck on our journeys

[Mystic Pymp]

DMSI 3.3D Day 1

Ok guys, I couldn't wait till the night (I tend to listen to hybrid track on my headphones during sleep) so I listened to 3 loops on ultrasonic on my laptop.

At first reaction was awesome! I had similar reaction as for previous versions when I started listening to them - my balls and heart feel like burning. I don't know what that is, chakras or whatever, but it feels almost orgasmic. But later resistance started to kick in and I felt anxious. So instead of continuing with the next 2 loops I decided to go for a walk and shake the feeling up. Other than that nothing extraordinary happened.

I will listen to the remaining loops soon and I will keep you posted. Even if this anxiety will continue I don't plan for a second on giving up this version at least until 3.3C is out.

[Shannon]

In less than the amount of time it took to finish one day's loops, you decided to run away, lol.

[Mystic Pymp]

In less than the amount of time it took to finish one day's loops, you decided to run away, lol.

Thanks for support Shannon Greatly appreciated!

I've completed remaining 2 loops and it went much smoother. What I think did wrong was I was thinking too much about the sub and what it does/might do.

This time I launched with me barely noticing anything is going on. I even checked after loops executed if the volume was ok and it was. This is not gonna be problem in the future as I'll be listening to the hybrid track during the night regardless.

[Mystic Pymp]

DMSI 3.3D Day 2

I took my parents to the concert today, the first chance to see and experience new DMSI out in the field. Nothing major but I noticed my eye contact was much stronger, I did hold it for longer than usual. I got two types of reaction from that: kind smiles and "why do you stare at me" looks. Interesting.

Also interesting are two thought patterns I noticed in myself. First one is something like "I don't think I'm ready to run DMSI, maybe I should switch to Ultra Success/LTU/whatever else". Nice try resistance but that ain't gonna work.

Second one was I was thinking about my female friends I might want to have sex with and for the first time (in my entire life I think) instead of thinking "yeah, she's pretty, I'd have sex with her if you wanted" I though "Oh, I'm sure she wants my D!". Might be placebo at this point and I'm not sure how important are randoms musings after laying in bed but that thoughts were so genuine there must have been more to them.

[Mystic Pymp]

DMSI 3.3D Day 3

I'm getting more comfortable with DMSI but I noticed something strange when I woke up and to some extend even until now. My mind feels kind of blank, which is surprising because normally my mind is whirling maelstrom of thoughts and ideas. It might be just tiredness though and as I was moving through my notions, ate lunch etc. it got slowly going back to normal.

[Mystic Pymp]

DMSI 3.3D Day 4

I'm tired, sooooo tired! I couldn't sleep last night, it wasn't entirely like insomnia though. I felt myself falling asleep a couple times but I would come back up every time. Throughout the night I felt something like lustless arousal, I have no idea how to describe it. It made me feel very optimistic about my future usage of DMSI at the cost of feeling so tired today. Once I was done with everything I was supposed to do today I felt asleep as soon as I laid on the bed, I didn't even turn my lights off or strip off my socks!

Limiting number of loops crosses my mind but I ain't gonna give Shannon the satisfaction!

[Mystic Pymp]

DMSI 3.3D Day 5

Tiredness made me sleep something like 11-12 hours today, had to skip going to work and do my due in the afternoon from my home instead. I feel better now so hopefully all will be fine from now on.

[Mystic Pymp]

DMSI 3.3D Day 7

Today's the first day I skipped my loops as per instructions. I started listening to DMSI on Friday afternoon and then switched to listening at night, so Wednesday and Thursday nights are DMSI-free.

Last few days had been quite tough and to be honest I don't feel any different now. Weak and tired, with relatively little motivation. That makes me angry and disappointed at myself, but somehow I cannot easily turn this anger into action like I could just before starting my 3.3D run. Resistance?

Some time before this run I also wrote how there are many things I would like to improve in myself and if I started to work on all of them at the same time I would get overwhelmed. That's true, I don't believe in 180 degrees shift overnight and I would rather make slow progress, making new habits and destroying old ones. I believe DMSI can help me with that (and if bad crap is going to continue for 3 months I will switch to LTU anyway) but it ain't gonna do it for me. Also I believe being aware of my problems and facing them is the first step towards change.

So I made a list of things I would like to improve in the next year. 12 points for 12 months. The list is not comprehensive, if I wanted to I could add another dozen of points. The idea is that each month I will focus on one of those points. It won't be exclusive and the points intertwine, so it's not like I will work only on point nr 1 for example and the rest can wait. I think it's important to focus on one idea at the time and work with others when the time and ability permits. Some of the points will require me to do some research as well, so it is for the better to focus on one at the time.

The points are (roughly in order from the most to the least important):
1. Lose Weight
2. Consistent NoFap
3. Sleep well
4. Be more productive at work
5. Go out more
6. Be more confident
7. Eat more consciously
8. Dress better
9. Walk daily
10. Exercise more and go to the gym
11. Take good care of your teeth
12. Keep your room tidy

I may expand on those points after I give it some more thought. On many of these points I work but not consistently and that's a huge problem. Others I neglected completely over past year as my ex was "accepting me as I was" and was finding excuses for my lazyness on many of the points. Some points I never worked on hard enough despite everything.

What I would like to do is to find some way to "gamify" these 12 points. One because I always found satisfaction in the point system games (for example I gamified my workouts and it works quite well I think), that is the best way to create habits for me.

One might ask me "where are women in these points?" and so I will answer this question right away. Women will appear naturally if I manage to improve in all of the fields here. None of the points are focused on women because they are focused on me and me alone. I think it is known that when you improve yourself as a man, as a person, more and better women you will attract. Also I have no intention on getting motivation from the outside (like women), I want to be getting it from my internal sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.