DMSI 3.1 Call me Thomas Jonathan Jackson

[blackwing Z]

My advice is don't take advice of virgins... in any field.

[Shannon]

Just read RTBoss's journal about the capacity to have feelings for more than one person etc. I 100% an going through the same thing. The problem is not me, it's my gf. She's still firmly locked into the one person and anything else is cheating mentality.

If anything she has been using proxy conversions to drive that point home recently, talking about her clients who have been "destroyed by a partner cheating" or how "cheating is devastating to the other person". I guess she's sensing an increase in value in me and is scared. Justifiably.

This just reinforces my damned resistance to DMSI though. Someone I value and love telling me over and over that I'm going to destroy her life if I succeed in implementing DMSI... aaarrgghh.

What's the solution?

The solution is...

Make up your mind, and pursue it. Choose her, and you have to stop using DMSI and stagnate for the rest of your life unless you can get her to change... and you can't change anyone but yourself.

Choose DMSI and you're going to have to make another choice sooner or later: Break up with her before you have sex with someone else... "cheat" on her... or you can simply change the rules of the relationship and then let the chips fall where they may.

In almost 100% of cases, you will have the woman walk away if you change the rules after they have been set, and especially in a long term committed relationship that is established.

So it really boils down to...

Quit DMSI and stay where you are... or leave her and find someone new through DMSI.

Pick one. And the quicker, the better.

[Darwinn]

My question is why aren't you just telling her that you're ok with more than one partner if that's where you're at?

[Blink]

My advice is don't take advice of virgins... in any field.

Totally unnecessary. Where's the dislike?

[Darwinn]

My advice is don't take advice of virgins... in any field.

Totally unnecessary. Where's the dislike?

Yeah was gonna say, dick move.

[blackwing Z]

It's the truth

[CatMan]

My advice is don't take advice of virgins... in any field.

Totally unnecessary. Where's the dislike?

Yeah was gonna say, dick move.

LOL...

So I mentioned that it's good to see progress from a woman with the program.

And I mentioned what others have, that he will have to decide whether or not he wants this relationship, or if he wants to go after other women he's seemingly more attracted to. And that it's okay to feel want for them, when he has felt guilt for doing so in the past, and to not feel obligated to stay with someone who doesn't ultimately make him happy, that his own happiness needs to be at the forefront, as he's commented on before...

And somehow ***I'm*** denigrated with a stupid troll comment, trying to start some 10 page derail fight. I'm not biting. This forum is going to shit, honestly.

This is why I don't bother posting very often now.

[blackwing Z]

I just don't get how can u try and give this guy advice? That's malicious and dishonest af

[Bookstacks DC737]

I just don't get how can u try and give this guy advice? That's malicious and dishonest af

No it wasn't. The post was just an observation on how the program was functioning from Catman's perspective and presenting swisston with options, not advising him to do anything.

Now if you wanted to go after Sarge for that, that would be more understandable. All of these guys are grown men though, I'm sure they're able to think for themselves though.

[RTBoss]

My advice is don't take advice of virgins... in any field.

Totally unnecessary. Where's the dislike?

Yeah was gonna say, dick move.

LOL...

So I mentioned that it's good to see progress from a woman with the program.

And I mentioned what others have, that he will have to decide whether or not he wants this relationship, or if he wants to go after other women he's seemingly more attracted to. And that it's okay to feel want for them, when he has felt guilt for doing so in the past, and to not feel obligated to stay with someone who doesn't ultimately make him happy, that his own happiness needs to be at the forefront, as he's commented on before...

And somehow ***I'm*** denigrated with a stupid troll comment, trying to start some 10 page derail fight. I'm not biting. This forum is going to shit, honestly.

This is why I don't bother posting very often now.

Come on, now. I know you have some mental and emotional fortitude, bro. Dust off, ignore the negativity, and keep it classy - like me! (LOL!)

[Benjamin]

My advice is don't take advice of virgins... in any field.

Totally unnecessary. Where's the dislike?

Why? It may be harsh but it's totally true and i've said it enough times to Sarge myself.

[Blink]

My advice is don't take advice of virgins... in any field.

Totally unnecessary. Where's the dislike?

Why? It may be harsh but it's totally true and i've said it enough times to Sarge myself.

Never said it's wrong. It's unnecessary. No need to rub salt into the wound.

[Dr. Strangelove]

[quote='Blink' pid='167272' dateline='1494361623']
[quote='blackwing Z' pid='167263' dateline='1494358304']
My advice is don't take advice of virgins... in any field.

[swisston]

So... back on track.... I'm not in a rush to get rid of my relationship. For the most part it's really good. I know that I have a moan on here, but that's just me venting a bit. There are many good bits too, especially the companionship/partnership that many people never get to truly experience.

I still have a strong fear of the unknown without her. I have no idea who I am as a single person. A large part of me thinks that I would be an idiot to throw it away. I am NOT unhappy... I just think that things could be better maybe. It's a tricky position. It would be a lot easier if I was actually unhappy, or we were arguing, or she was unreasonable. Right now there's no stimulus to force me to take action either way.

I'm still waiting to see any external effects from DMSI, and until something changes there, or until I have changed so much internally that the choices become more obvious/natural I am going to sit right where I am.

We have a works night out on Saturday. The receptionist will be there. I'll see if there's any move towards flirtation. I'll be back on to B on the Friday night.