Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1

[Have at ye]

Time for an update!

Basically, things have been progressing, albeit, I dunno - seems like they have been slowing down a bit. I've switched to version B on the 3rd, but I think I'll be switching back to A tomorrow.

I believe I am resisting something in the script, but I am unable to directly localize what. This might be the effect of the shielding.

Getting certain feelings of tiredness, albeit not all over - it is somewhere in my gut, if I were to try and locate it. This might be the ASS/ART doing the "tiring out a particular aspect" thing.

I can still feel the sniper-related state-shift every now and again, especially when in the vicinity of an attractive female (or sometimes when looking at a picture of an attractive female I know personally). Also, I am still meeting attractive women all over the place.

I have so many haters now that it is not even funny. The opera people are, well... the mediocrities are terrible people, scared of everything. I did the performance on the 2nd, it went extremely well, and now I'm getting such terrible backlash from fellow singers who were involved in the project (most - if not all - of them male) that it is basically verging on libel.

But, thanks to DMSI's in-built shielding against negative energies projected by others, relevant to the goals of the program, I am still standing and going on. When I heard of some of the things that have been said about me lately, I got EXTREMELY ANGRY TO THE POINT OF VIOLENCE. Fortunately, my self-control is pretty good. Also, my vocal coach told me that this was to be expected, and that I need to keep doing my thing and not let them get under my skin. The worst thing - she's ran into trouble because she's been working with me, and the lovely people at the conservatory (my main singing teacher when I was still studying there included) apparently resent that because we've been getting great results.

Oy, Bartleby, oy humanity!

[Although I have been very popular among the chorus girls and the make up girls during the production - which, incidentally, annoyed the leading guy to no end, lol]

I now seriously dislike most males that I know. There are maybe 4 or 5 that do not make me extremely angry with their presence and incessant bullshit. Towards others, I am noticing that I have become very short-tempered and unpleasant, especially if I consider their behavior disrespectful (either towards me or towards women) - or I simply ignore them.

I've noticed one thing - there's something very deep inside of me that believes that life a) cannot be easy, b) must be hard, and c) you work your ass off and get nothing in return, and d) that I do not deserve good things, especially if they are not the result of titanic struggle against impossible odds, lol. This must be changed.

Also, kinda confused regarding food consumption - on one hand, I know that I need food to fuel my body and the aura projection. On the other hand, I am working on my physical fitness and am planning to lose weight (the flab has been annoying me to an extreme extent lately). Possibly a change in diet would be necessary? I've been thinking I could perhaps keep snacking on something nutritious but not fattening throughout the day, like, say, nuts. Any pointers, wonderful diet people?

[Have at ye]

I am scared of something regarding sex, and get the occasional fear-reaction when I am about to (to put it bluntly) penetrate a woman with my penis, which sometimes results in erectile dysfunction. Had that as a kid for some time after sexual initiation, then it went away, and after my bout with depression it now comes and it goes. Hmm.

This must be taken care of. The fear reaction must go, it is irrational and stands in the way of achieving the program's goals.

Back on ver. A since yesterday - and will be sticking to it for the foreseeable future. The results are back and plenty of them, things are beginning to kick in for real.

[Mystic Pymp]

I am scared of something regarding sex, and get the occasional fear-reaction when I am about to (to put it bluntly) penetrate a woman with my penis, which sometimes results in erectile dysfunction. Had that as a kid for some time after sexual initiation, then it went away, and after my bout with depression it now comes and it goes. Hmm.

This must be taken care of. The fear reaction must go, it is irrational and stands in the way of achieving the program's goals.

Back on ver. A since yesterday - and will be sticking to it for the foreseeable future. The results are back and plenty of them, things are beginning to kick in for real.

Hey, could you describe more difference you felt between A and B? I stick to A for now but I'm curious!

[RTBoss]

If you're going to snack on nutz (hehehe, I'm sooo mature XD), stick to almonds and pistachios. Turns out that almonds actually have around 20% less usable calories than previously thought, and pistachios 5-6% less. Still, it'll be important to not go overboard. Stick to 15-20 almonds, for instance.

If you like dill pickles - zero calories.

Home made popcorn, no butter (perhaps a low-no calorie butter spray like Pam or "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter), and a zero-calorie popcorn seasoning.

PB2 powdered peanut butter on celery - powdered PB reconstitutes with water easily, 80% less calories than regular peanut butter.

Protein shake - scoop of whey, casein, or whey/casein blend in water or almond/cashew milk.

Fat-free cheese/fat-free turkey breast slices - roll 'em up together and eat.

Oikos Triple Zero Greek yogurt - good stuff if you can find it in your grocery. Other no-fat Greek yogurts would be fine here as well, but the Triple Zero has a bunch of fiber that would boost satiety.

[apollolux]

If you're going to snack on nutz (hehehe, I'm sooo mature XD), stick to almonds and pistachios. Turns out that almonds actually have around 20% less usable calories than previously thought, and pistachios 5-6% less. Still, it'll be important to not go overboard. Stick to 15-20 almonds, for instance.

Raw cashews are still good, right?

[Have at ye]

I am scared of something regarding sex, and get the occasional fear-reaction when I am about to (to put it bluntly) penetrate a woman with my penis, which sometimes results in erectile dysfunction. Had that as a kid for some time after sexual initiation, then it went away, and after my bout with depression it now comes and it goes. Hmm.

This must be taken care of. The fear reaction must go, it is irrational and stands in the way of achieving the program's goals.

Back on ver. A since yesterday - and will be sticking to it for the foreseeable future. The results are back and plenty of them, things are beginning to kick in for real.

Hey, could you describe more difference you felt between A and B? I stick to A for now but I'm curious!

For me it was like this - mood went down, I would get extremely angry every now and again, physically felt myself resisting the pull of the program (in the gut), the sniper-related state-shift was more pronounced, I would oftentimes feel frustrated and/or impatient regarding various things, especially the goals of the program.

On A I am much more calm and composed, think about the fact that I am listening to the program less, am less anxious to get the results, and the results are gradually trickling in to my conscious reality.

Now I need to cut down on alcohol and nicotine consumption. Been going WAAAY overboard with that lately!

[Have at ye]

If you're going to snack on nutz (hehehe, I'm sooo mature XD), stick to almonds and pistachios. Turns out that almonds actually have around 20% less usable calories than previously thought, and pistachios 5-6% less. Still, it'll be important to not go overboard. Stick to 15-20 almonds, for instance.

If you like dill pickles - zero calories.

Home made popcorn, no butter (perhaps a low-no calorie butter spray like Pam or "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter), and a zero-calorie popcorn seasoning.

PB2 powdered peanut butter on celery - powdered PB reconstitutes with water easily, 80% less calories than regular peanut butter.

Protein shake - scoop of whey, casein, or whey/casein blend in water or almond/cashew milk.

Fat-free cheese/fat-free turkey breast slices - roll 'em up together and eat.

Oikos Triple Zero Greek yogurt - good stuff if you can find it in your grocery. Other no-fat Greek yogurts would be fine here as well, but the Triple Zero has a bunch of fiber that would boost satiety.

Thanks for the advice! Almonds and pistachios sound good. Will try to whip up a protein shake. Almond milk sounds delish, freakishly expensive around here, though.

I'll look into the Greek yogurt thing, I think I've seen something like that in some of 'em posh grocery stores.

[Have at ye]

I am scared of something regarding sex, and get the occasional fear-reaction when I am about to (to put it bluntly) penetrate a woman with my penis, which sometimes results in erectile dysfunction. Had that as a kid for some time after sexual initiation, then it went away, and after my bout with depression it now comes and it goes. Hmm.

This must be taken care of. The fear reaction must go, it is irrational and stands in the way of achieving the program's goals.

Back on ver. A since yesterday - and will be sticking to it for the foreseeable future. The results are back and plenty of them, things are beginning to kick in for real.

Hey, could you describe more difference you felt between A and B? I stick to A for now but I'm curious!

For me it was like this - mood went down, I would get extremely angry every now and again, physically felt myself resisting the pull of the program (in the gut), the sniper-related state-shift was more pronounced, I would oftentimes feel frustrated and/or impatient regarding various things, especially the goals of the program.

On A I am much more calm and composed, think about the fact that I am listening to the program less, am less anxious to get the results, and the results are gradually trickling in to my conscious reality.

Now I need to cut down on alcohol and nicotine consumption. Been going WAAAY overboard with that lately!

Oh yeah, one more thing regarding this - on ver. B I was literally scared. Of the program and what it is doing, whilst being extremely anxious to get the results anyway.

It was basically 100% like in the "full speed ahead with the brakes on" analogy.

[RTBoss]

If you're going to snack on nutz (hehehe, I'm sooo mature XD), stick to almonds and pistachios. Turns out that almonds actually have around 20% less usable calories than previously thought, and pistachios 5-6% less. Still, it'll be important to not go overboard. Stick to 15-20 almonds, for instance.

Raw cashews are still good, right?

For sure. Once again, just have to watch the portion size, unless weight gain isn't an issue for you. Cashews are also full of magnesium, which a lot of people can be deficient in.

If you're going to snack on nutz (hehehe, I'm sooo mature XD), stick to almonds and pistachios. Turns out that almonds actually have around 20% less usable calories than previously thought, and pistachios 5-6% less. Still, it'll be important to not go overboard. Stick to 15-20 almonds, for instance.

If you like dill pickles - zero calories.

Home made popcorn, no butter (perhaps a low-no calorie butter spray like Pam or "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter), and a zero-calorie popcorn seasoning.

PB2 powdered peanut butter on celery - powdered PB reconstitutes with water easily, 80% less calories than regular peanut butter.

Protein shake - scoop of whey, casein, or whey/casein blend in water or almond/cashew milk.

Fat-free cheese/fat-free turkey breast slices - roll 'em up together and eat.

Oikos Triple Zero Greek yogurt - good stuff if you can find it in your grocery. Other no-fat Greek yogurts would be fine here as well, but the Triple Zero has a bunch of fiber that would boost satiety.

Thanks for the advice! Almonds and pistachios sound good. Will try to whip up a protein shake. Almond milk sounds delish, freakishly expensive around here, though.

I'll look into the Greek yogurt thing, I think I've seen something like that in some of 'em posh grocery stores.

You're welcome. Almond milk is pretty expensive (even the Great Value Walmart brand is $3+ for a half gallon), but I find it works great as a milk substitute for a lot less calories. I buy the unsweetened vanilla flavor - it's about 30 calories per cup vs. the 86 in skim milk.

If you need any more help in the future with weight loss, gimmie a holler.

[Mystic Pymp]

I am scared of something regarding sex, and get the occasional fear-reaction when I am about to (to put it bluntly) penetrate a woman with my penis, which sometimes results in erectile dysfunction. Had that as a kid for some time after sexual initiation, then it went away, and after my bout with depression it now comes and it goes. Hmm.

This must be taken care of. The fear reaction must go, it is irrational and stands in the way of achieving the program's goals.

Back on ver. A since yesterday - and will be sticking to it for the foreseeable future. The results are back and plenty of them, things are beginning to kick in for real.

Hey, could you describe more difference you felt between A and B? I stick to A for now but I'm curious!

For me it was like this - mood went down, I would get extremely angry every now and again, physically felt myself resisting the pull of the program (in the gut), the sniper-related state-shift was more pronounced, I would oftentimes feel frustrated and/or impatient regarding various things, especially the goals of the program.

On A I am much more calm and composed, think about the fact that I am listening to the program less, am less anxious to get the results, and the results are gradually trickling in to my conscious reality.

Now I need to cut down on alcohol and nicotine consumption. Been going WAAAY overboard with that lately!

Oh yeah, one more thing regarding this - on ver. B I was literally scared. Of the program and what it is doing, whilst being extremely anxious to get the results anyway.

It was basically 100% like in the "full speed ahead with the brakes on" analogy.

That does not sound fun at all. Shannon must have not lying about all those safeties in version A.

At any rate thanks for feedback Pozdrawiam!

[Have at ye]

Something big is clearing through. This would explain why I self-sabotaged through the use of ver. B before its time.

Today, I had one of the first free days in a long time. So I had time to think. I ended up viewing what is commonly called as "my past" at high-velocity - particular aspects of it. Those I do not like. And you know what? All of the things I fucked up, and all the things I do not like about my reality at this time - I caused them: and basically all of the stupid actions I took, or dumb preconceptions I had, sprang from - you guessed it: either fear, guilt or shame. Heh. Woman, sex and career-related.

So yeah, I spent about an hour today musing about it, crying a bit here and there - and whilst in general it was most unpleasant, all the time it was happening I was experiencing the euphoric feeling in my gut, concordant with script execution.

Guess it might be time to change the past and work towards a better future, absent the moronicity of fear, shame and guilt.

So, let's bend some reality (and muse randomly).

[Have at ye]

Switched to ver. B yesterday. Will try it out for two weeks, let's see what happens!

Currently with about 7 weeks of ver. A under my belt.

Experiencing a slight headache on the left side of my brain (it comes and it goes) and euphoric feelings, located mostly in my gut.

Visited my family for Easter. It was a most chillfull time, just kicked it back, relaxed, read some books on the nature of the universe, had time to think. Going back to the city today.

What I believe to be holding me back regarding the script's execution (among other things) is a deep seated materialistic approach to existence. I have went past it intellectually, but apparently not subconsciously.

Also came to the conclusion that I've made many mistakes because of the above, and have refused to learn from them.

Wondering if the healing is going to bloom while I'm on ver. B. Anyroad, I know that there's more stuff to heal/clear/whatever, but I would welcome a break - the new healing is immense, and is tackling stuff that I honestly did not think would come up; and further stuff keeps coming up, I think.

[Have at ye]

I switched back to A today. Why, you might ask?

It's not because ver. B was too intense or anything, I actually quite liked it (and noticed, among other things, that my scent was becoming more pronounced with each day, and the occasional headaches were just that - occasional. Strong euphoric sensations from time to time, too) and, I believe - I could either stick with ver. B and trust in the ASS/ART, and power through some things, or switch back to ver. A and get some more stuff out of the way.

Or could this be some wicked kind of self-sabotage? I doubt it, as ver. A is still DMSI albeit with the healing enabled.

Here's how B worked - after three days on it, I got an invitation from my ex to visit her for coffee. She was all huggy and stuff. After about an hour, she invited me to lay down in her bed with her and cuddle. After about 15 minutes of that, she asked "how 'bout we get naked?". You can imagine the rest. No effort on my part required.

Would be nice if it worked on someone else than my ex for a change (lol). Not that I mind all that terribly, we're now FWBs.

Interestingly enough, after several days of listening to ver. B I had a strong sensation of tiredness behind my eyes, and also my face would feel sore every now and again.

I did localize several more issues that need to be fixed for MSI to develop, and am now setting out to fix them using ver. A.

Wondering whether I should up the volume a bit (haven't changed my settings since I started to listen to DMSI3.1 last month). Resistance or not? Who knows!

I am actually getting a slight headache after listening to ver. A today. Let's break through!

[Have at ye]

The healing and clearing that is going on is not exactly pleasant, but I guess necessary for me. Been feeling kinda down since switching back to A, but who cares as long as it gets the job done in the long run, right?

All sorts of self-cockblockage must go, and the belief that life must be hard by definition must go. There are many thoughts appearing in my mind - defeatist thoughts - but they might simply be a) a way of trying to prevent the program from working, or b) the side-effect of the healing/clearing that is going on underneath the hood.

There's possibly some GFS triggers I've got - with my time on B, I have noticed that I do not have the feelings of GSF surrounding them anymore (I mean, the triggers - I am not ashamed or afraid of the trigger acting up anymore) - but they're still there, and they are sex-related. And they're very much subconscious, so trying to tackle them through conscious input might have proven impossible/very difficult. So all the more power to Indigo Mind Labs for the powerful healing in DMSI! It is not pleasant, but worth it.

I might also be using the fear of the triggers acting up as a way of self-sabotaging the progress I've been making on DMSI. They make a pretty good excuse, no doubt. Hopefully, this shall either be healed/cleared or tired out through the ASS/ART.

The reality bend on A is currently much slower than on B (or at least it appears to be so! I am unable to judge with 100% certainty if it is so), and the results are more subtle, but they're still there as far as I can tell.

Been managing to smoke much less lately, and am in the process of quitting smoking altogether. When I don't smoke for 10hr+, I do not necessarily feel any kind of strong compulsion to smoke, I just get depressed. Same goes with limiting food intake in order to lose weight (which has been progressing nicely, as the energetic requirments of DMSI are quite high). Gotta start limiting caffeine, too, I think. Cardiovascular health and all that jazz.

Also I have been sleeping much more lately, and sometimes nap during the day.

Nicotine derails the DMSI state-shift for AT LEAST 15 minutes after smoking a cigarette, as far as I can tell through physical sensations. It's probably longer than that, as nicotine stays in the nervous system for about 8hrs IIRC, but DMSI's state-shift is strong and seems to get back on track swiftly.

Word of advice - avoid marihuana when using DMSI, especially ver. A. I took a couple of hits from a neighbor recently, and it was strong stuff (might have had something added "for flavor" too) - and, well, it broke through the shielding. AND IT WAS MOST UNPLEASANT. And the state lasted for about 4 hours - I had to sleep it off.