Darwin’s Journal

[chaosvrgn]

Dude - you're reading a lot out of very little, and if this classes as wrong doing to you, perhaps you ought to get some perspective.

Stop being butt hurt over trivial sentiments and focus on your own goals.

You're using all the classic AMOG white knight arguments right now (omg you're so bitter!!!), So I'm gonna ignore hat nonsense and speak directly to the lurkers and the multitude of people that PM me every day for advice, then I'm done with it. If anyone has a problem with what I've said, hit the report button and Ben will cast his very fair Benhammer if he feels I'm out of line.

Now:

What would happen if Shannon created a new version of "Attract Your Perfect Financially Wealthy Lover," and it became very popular on the women's forum and some guy kept posting "OMG IM SO TIRED OF THESE JOURNALS!!!"

Do you see a lot of men posting how they're sick of DMSI journals? No? That's because the vast multitude of men are undersexed and it's a problem that's unique to men. Of course she's sick of it -- it's not an issue that affects her, and the already shamed men here doesn't need to deal with more shaming.

Third -- If this were a man I was rightfully telling to STFU, would you have such a visceral reaction?

This forum has become a bit of a joke lately, with a bunch of celibate, broke men running around talking about "ascended masculinity" (re: being a passive, passionless lil wuss), asking Shannon the most ridiculous of questions, complaining about actually having to exert some effort to meet DMSI's goals and the such. And now, we have another "ascended male," who I guarantee isn't anywhere near my earning potential or level of success, trying to lecture me on reaching goals, rofl.

This is why DZ, Sick and some of the other unique voices left and if Shannon ever develops a way to report directly to him, I will too.

[Darwinn]

Bro, getting laid will chill you out a lot. Peace.

[chaosvrgn]

Bro, getting laid will chill you out a lot. Peace.

http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-8221.html

[Darwinn]

I'll do you the courtesy of responding properly. It's good you have passion bud. Being dominant is fine but you're getting carried away on a forum.

Have no problem with telling a woman to stfu if it's warranted, and if you were going after a dude I would have had the same reaction. It really wasn't very ' visceral', so calm down?

I do notice and have noticed before you get triggered when anyone mentions DMSI with less than praise hense my response, which again was mild to say the least. I wasn't lecturing you on goals, I was suggesting you waste your time getting weirdly upset by such trivialities, you have your own goals with DMSI, which is cool - go for them and don't be so upset by people focussing on other things.

You earn a lot? Good for you.

[Darwinn]

Bro, getting laid will chill you out a lot. Peace.

http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-8221.html

Cheers, will check it out.

[chaosvrgn]

I'll do you the courtesy of responding properly. It's good you have passion bud. Being dominant is fine but you're getting carried away on a forum.

Have no problem with telling a woman to stfu if it's warranted, and if you were going after a dude I would have had the same reaction. It really wasn't very ' visceral', so calm down?

I do notice and have noticed before you get triggered when anyone mentions DMSI with less than praise hense my response, which again was mild to say the least. I wasn't lecturing you on goals, I was suggesting you waste your time getting weirdly upset by such trivialities, you have your own goals with DMSI, which is cool - go for them and don't be so upset by people focussing on other things.

You earn a lot? Good for you.

Your logic is flawed. The underlying rhetoric that frames your argument is flawed.

* This exchange had nothing to do with DMSI and it's results. You're now trying to retcon what just happened and reframe it as a "triggering" regarding DMSI. Incorrect. It could've been any subliminal that addresses a predominantly male issue and my response would be the same: STFU, don't read it, and don't be so self-absorbed to come to a forum about male issues and comment on how the content doesn't fit your wants. Logic nullified.

* Do not be concerned with how I spend my time. Clearly, I make enough money with little enough ease that I can shoot the shit here and still find time to get laid, make more money and be a badass fighter. So yes, very good for me. It'd be good for you too, if you were more like me. Argument nullified.

Are we finished?

[Darwinn]

Yup. Reading your journal with interest.

[Darwinn]

This burns slightly, but there's nothing for I but to own up.

I've been an ass. There I said it. My coach lambasted me the other day for having turned into a spectator, and becoming at effect rather than at cause in my life. After moping about feeling sorry for myself, and then having the above exchange with Chaos, and some stuff go wrong at work, it clicked.

Below is a small cautionary tale on happiness and feeling good versus being at home in the struggle, and having solid fundamentals in terms of action taking.

The last 6 months have felt great, fell in love (didn't think it was possible), moved in with girlfriend, got promoted, again, having fun and enjoying life, travelling, meeting really cool fun people, having fascinating conversations, and great ideas.

But

This has all been happening to me, and I've been taking few and at best cosmetic or unfocussed actions in the direction of my longer term goals...enrolling for courses on top of work which are easy or which I've done nothing on, going to the gym or yoga intensely for a week then flopping, coasting at work with a level of expertise which allows me to jack my ego off as 'the guy who knows the answer', but has meant I've not grown much, and now have become weaker in action taking and resilience.

Confidence is great, not battering myself over every mishap or negative event is great, but complacency and confusing feeling good with doing good...catastrophic. To a point it was understandable, happiness has mostly been something distant and unperceivable for me, so it was natural that a good run could result in this.

My Coach sat me down and noted in all my language, I was communicating as a spectator, everything an opinion, a theory, and not related to an action, no commitment, no failures, no tangible successes, not even a stated mission or learning points and then he laid a massive smack down on me. It took a few days before I could say to him 'shit, I got it', ironically (since I accused Chaos of this) I was too butt hurt to accept it and my childhood victim complex, that everyone was out to do me down and get me, set in. Now I realise I have to take 100% responsibility for absolutely everything in my life in order to be at cause, and that shit doesn't happen, without the active application of will to something larger than you think you are.

To Chaos, if you're interested in what happened from my side in the above exchange; I incorrectly inferred form three data points; (you having a go at frosted in one thread, something you said to Sarge after I opined, admittedly uselessly, on his situation, and you having a go at the person above) that you were defensive about DMSI.

I hadn't read your journal, or understood your story or tone and accused you of being defensive - after that I got annoyed because you called me a white knght (when I didn't even think the person was a woman, though that's not important here.), after this I myself became smug and condescending.

Anyway. time to move on now. I'm not going to post much now as my work is relatively sensitive and that's where I want to achieve the most.

[Darwinn]

Ah I missed the learning. Simply this, one of the harder points of being happy and contented as people have noted before, is that motivation disappears since we're often motivated by negativity.

My note for now is that it takes commitment to something bigger than yourself, or out of your grasp to snap out of complacency, and get back on the playing field, and you gotta make your home there, if the game starts getting easy it's time to move to a higher game. The cost of not doing so can be serious atrophy to your mind and soul, as well as an indulgence in BS.

[Darwinn]

Bah. I periodically go through phases where my energy drops through the floor, when it feels as though there nothing left to power my muscles. This is one of those times. It typically proceeds some form of deep work. Last time it was due to tantric yoga practices which are supposed to clear the subconscious after which a friend, who can be a tyrannical bully, kept remarking on how relaxed and strong I seemed (I was actually feeling incredibly weak, but was weak to the point where I was accepting of anything that might happen - somehow it seemed to intimidate him).

I don't know whether this is something subconscious being released, resistance, or a coincidental illness as it happened to me on occasionally on AM6 as well.

Somethings gotta give. Anyway with this, and the fact that me and my girlfriend have been in and out of colds and viruses for the last 3 months, I'm tempted once again to Jump the LTU happiness ship and perhaps do something like MHS.

In interesting LTU effects...

I seem to be beating back my 'ADD' symptoms. when I have long periods of work I'm starting to leave my phone somewhere away from me, get myself into a state of relaxation which allows my mind to flow better over problems I'm facing or solving - this is in stark contrast to my original approach which was to pile down a load of coffee, get really intense, burn out, get angry because I was going blank and procrastinating by looking at facebook/youtube.

I put this down to several impacts of LTU.
- First is self control, there is a stronger voice of restraint which tells me to keep going and put aside things which I've not set out to do
- Second resilience, self validation means that when I have a large expectation of myself and fall short (which is inevitable) my whole identity and value isn't thrown into question and I don't have to avoid work to prevent facing an ego bruising
- Third I'm less affected by the opinion of others. Having had to spend much of my teenage years fighting, being singled out by bullies, because I was the only one ethnically, of my kind in my area and would stick up for myself and others, I have become hyper sensitive and defensive to group dynamics and self perpetuate a feeling of being left out, along with a need to be accepted. Needing this less and less (because I'm more self validated), is helping me to not burn attention on what people are saying/doing

the third point is still a work in progress though, I'm leading teams and individuals now and can't help but feel disempowered and undermined when they show their own excellence, or make the odd comment which is less than kind. I don't want to be like this, but it is what it is for now.

What's working against it though is still a lot of complacency and enjoyment of being in a 'safe-zone'.

In a weird event that happened recently. Someone told me I was brutally killed in a past life and that I haven't gotten over this yet - it wouldn't mean much if it wasn't the third time someone has either said exactly this or alluded to it.

[Zane]

Bah. I periodically go through phases where my energy drops through the floor, when it feels as though there nothing left to power my muscles. This is one of those times. It typically proceeds some form of deep work. Last time it was due to tantric yoga practices which are supposed to clear the subconscious after which a friend, who can be a tyrannical bully, kept remarking on how relaxed and strong I seemed (I was actually feeling incredibly weak, but was weak to the point where I was accepting of anything that might happen - somehow it seemed to intimidate him).

I don't know whether this is something subconscious being released, resistance, or a coincidental illness as it happened to me on occasionally on AM6 as well.

Somethings gotta give. Anyway with this, and the fact that me and my girlfriend have been in and out of colds and viruses for the last 3 months, I'm tempted once again to Jump the LTU happiness ship and perhaps do something like MHS.

In interesting LTU effects...

I seem to be beating back my 'ADD' symptoms. when I have long periods of work I'm starting to leave my phone somewhere away from me, get myself into a state of relaxation which allows my mind to flow better over problems I'm facing or solving - this is in stark contrast to my original approach which was to pile down a load of coffee, get really intense, burn out, get angry because I was going blank and procrastinating by looking at facebook/youtube.

I put this down to several impacts of LTU.
- First is self control, there is a stronger voice of restraint which tells me to keep going and put aside things which I've not set out to do
- Second resilience, self validation means that when I have a large expectation of myself and fall short (which is inevitable) my whole identity and value isn't thrown into question and I don't have to avoid work to prevent facing an ego bruising
- Third I'm less affected by the opinion of others. Having had to spend much of my teenage years fighting, being singled out by bullies, because I was the only one ethnically, of my kind in my area and would stick up for myself and others, I have become hyper sensitive and defensive to group dynamics and self perpetuate a feeling of being left out, along with a need to be accepted. Needing this less and less (because I'm more self validated), is helping me to not burn attention on what people are saying/doing

the third point is still a work in progress though, I'm leading teams and individuals now and can't help but feel disempowered and undermined when they show their own excellence, or make the odd comment which is less than kind. I don't want to be like this, but it is what it is for now.

What's working against it though is still a lot of complacency and enjoyment of being in a 'safe-zone'.

In a weird event that happened recently. Someone told me I was brutally killed in a past life and that I haven't gotten over this yet - it wouldn't mean much if it wasn't the third time someone has either said exactly this or alluded to it.

When someone says to me something about me being killed in past life I think of as another reference to subconscious.. . Mean that in subconscious sense it means that at particular time or place in subconscious my good part of me was killed by some powerful negative belief....

If someone is telling you this then it means something must have happened to u in past life /subconscious.. . Something disturbed the hell out of ur subconscious.. .I am sure its not easy to heal cause sometimes it takes a long time to figure out what really happened or what problem to heal... This is why I think E1, E2 and LTU are the best sub if u dont know, cause it targets all the problems at once and then when u have completed your long run of LTU then u will know what still needs healing and then u can choose a sub particularly for that problem..

[Frosted]

Darwin what's your sub history?

[Darwinn]

Hey. Ran AM6, BASE, MLS now LTU. For my Runs of AM6 and BASE I was on and off ADHD meds which screwed me up. Will probably need to do anothe AM6 run soon.

[Frosted]

Yeah I found after 3 months my first run began to fade.