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+--- Thread: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles (/Thread-Dimsee-three-point-two-Curiosity-Chronicles)
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Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Raz - 02-24-2018
As if I could resist checking out the updated mind and reality bender.
Got off of SE after a good one-stage length, had some subliminal-free days, but nowhere near the 21 (or now 35) days to allow for a non-turbulence inducing start with DMSI.
TID effects started about a week before the drop of the dimsee-bomb. On the positive side: worked with a 18-year old 7.5/10 coworker from my part-time job (only saw her briefly once or twice before from the distance), normal cheerfulness that I shower everyone with from me. The work is physical, so no means to get out of each others way. She opened up within minutes, lots of joking from both sides. She started bantering pretty soon and got playfully touchy-feely for a few times. She threw in some ambiguous comments (emphazising herself that they were ambiguous) and statements like her bra-strings are sliding (remember: physical labor). I stayed playful but did not cross the line to enter a deeper game of banter. Just enjoying and observing. Her reactions were more reserved and distanced the days after.
Negative TID-effects: Increasing anxiety, decreasing of mental focus, decreasing drive to work with the same kind of spirit on my thesis as I did the weeks prior to it. Increasing tiredness throughout the day although I got in 10+ hours of sleep a night.
Got in the first loop more than 12 hours ago.
First effects: Had to get into bed for sleep really early (have had an exhausting day, but still). My mental focus decreased even more, not sure if I can get some work on my thesis done today.
Dreams (the parts that I remember) were interesting: Ex-GF's and other delicious female friends (both categories fall under "now in a relationship") showed up (sometimes merging into one-another), coming onto me kissing me (my memory is strangely clear on the kissing). It did not go further, but was completely fulfilling in and of itself. The boyfriends were present too, but they did not matter in the least.
For reference: earlier versions of the sub were kind of ineffective for me. I probably was deep in resistance territory.
RE: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Raz - 02-24-2018
My state of mind: Women are the least interesting thing to think about right now.
So instead I am thinking about why my state of mind is that women are the least interesting thing to think about right now.
RE: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Raz - 02-25-2018
Ah well, I'll continue with my boring posts, while you guys keep coming with the interesting stories.
My energy levels after the second night (today's the third day) are pretty good. I feel absolutely well rested, a feeling that I have almost forgotten what it feels like, since I am running subs mostly at night. So having only one loop, fitting it easily into my day and sleeping without external acoustic and mental stimuli is simply great.
My ability to concentrate with a clear mind (you know, where no other thought than what you currently work on sticks out and divides and weakens your focus) is getting back to optimal.
Undirected dreamy visualizions before I fall asleep are back to what they were on SE: I see myself succeeding academically and professionally.
I like it.
RE: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Raz - 02-26-2018
Using the hybrid as .flac with headphones (just if it matters to anyone).
There is still nothing noticeable going on.
RE: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Raz - 02-26-2018
Slowly but surely there is some kind of undirected anger or resentment bubbling up deep down from the pit of my stomach. Haven't had that in a while, so I guess it may be related to the sub.
I can think of two possible explanations at the moment. One, pheromone adjustment. Or two, some kind of mental block being adressed. I am leaning towards the latter, since I'm somewhat pondering about parts of my past.
Let's see what kind of scorpion is hiding under this rock.
RE: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Raz - 02-27-2018
I kind of feel a bit disrespected by the people around me. It's nothing major and maybe only in my imagination, but it seems that I don't click as much with others at the moment as I am used to (when normal/good equals an arbitrary value of 100, then I am at a 93 right now). As I said, may be it's my imagination ... and/or normal fluctuation.
Looking for this kind of details just means that nothing tangible is going on.
I don't feel extra good but I also don't feel extra bad. Everything is simply baseline (meaning A-OK).
RE: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Raz - 02-27-2018
Changed to masked track. Still using .flac, still using headphones.
RE: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Raz - 02-28-2018
I am falling asleep (fast and deep) while listening to the masked track. Contrastingly, the hybrid made me more awake while zoning me out, if that makes sense.
RE: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Raz - 02-28-2018
This post is just for fun. Or maybe it isn't.
I am always dissecting words to get a deeper understanding of what they actually convey. That sometimes leads my thinking astray from the way seemingly everyone around me is using language or special terms in that language. It's like with 'executing' a sub. I totally get the meaning, but at the same time I am thinking 'execute subs not people'.
Or take 'revolution' coming from revolvere ... makes me think of a dog chasing it's tail. I simply cannot take that word seriously anymore. Scratch the R and make it evolution instead.
Why I am writing about this is another word: it's 'Leidenschaft', which is German for passion. Kind of one core element in regard to DMSI (passionate sex, passionate lover, passionate whatever, passion, you get it). The word Leidenschaft is built from two words: 'leiden' (to suffer [verb] or trouble, distress, suffering, malady, pain [noun]) and 'schaft' (from 'schaffen', which means to create or to make). So quite literally passion/Leidenschaft is something that creates suffering ... and being a German that same German language has influenced my thinking process quite deeply I suppose, since we see the world and it's concepts through language itself. And yes, personally I find some wise truth encoded into the word Leidenschaft.
Maybe I am just splitting hairs. I am not sure.
RE: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Raz - 03-04-2018
Day 10.
Still nothing going on. Not even the celeb-effect seems to work, which is one of the few things that I experienced with older versions.
RE: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Determined - 03-04-2018
(02-28-2018, 01:47 PM)Raz Wrote: This post is just for fun. Or maybe it isn't.
I am always dissecting words to get a deeper understanding of what they actually convey. That sometimes leads my thinking astray from the way seemingly everyone around me is using language or special terms in that language. It's like with 'executing' a sub. I totally get the meaning, but at the same time I am thinking 'execute subs not people'.
Or take 'revolution' coming from revolvere ... makes me think of a dog chasing it's tail. I simply cannot take that word seriously anymore. Scratch the R and make it evolution instead.
Why I am writing about this is another word: it's 'Leidenschaft', which is German for passion. Kind of one core element in regard to DMSI (passionate sex, passionate lover, passionate whatever, passion, you get it). The word Leidenschaft is built from two words: 'leiden' (to suffer [verb] or trouble, distress, suffering, malady, pain [noun]) and 'schaft' (from 'schaffen', which means to create or to make). So quite literally passion/Leidenschaft is something that creates suffering ... and being a German that same German language has influenced my thinking process quite deeply I suppose, since we see the world and it's concepts through language itself. And yes, personally I find some wise truth encoded into the word Leidenschaft.
Maybe I am just splitting hairs. I am not sure.
Not sure how accurate your definition for "Leidenschaft" is given that "Schaadenfreude" has a similar meaning but a different root.
RE: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Raz - 03-04-2018
(03-04-2018, 08:47 AM)Determined Wrote: Not sure how accurate your definition for "Leidenschaft" is given that "Schaadenfreude" has a similar meaning but a different root.
Nope, Schadenfreude is something different. It is when you are happy that others are experiencing harm or detriment.
But to be fair, Leidenschaft is closely related in meaning to 'leiden können' (to like), which itself has no related verb or noun other than Leidenschaft and is probably derived from leiden (to suffer) in some obscure way that is buried somewhere in history.
RE: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Raz - 03-06-2018
It still feels pretty much as if I am not running a sub at all at the moment, except for some tiny little things such as the need for one or two hours more sleep.
Internally, everything is silent. Tentative change is that I am a tad more reserved.
Externally, nothing out of the ordinary. Tentative change is that I seem to be a tad more invisible and uncharismatic.
For the past days I am observing how I struggle to remember certain words. Reminds me of how the impediment of eloquent speech developed on 3.1. I'll be keeping an eye on this.
For the moment the only thing this sub is good for, is as a helper to fall asleep in the evening while playing the loop (masked track).
Ever since day 2 my dream recall is zero. I have tons of dreams, but as soon as I am awake the memory dissolves within seconds.
RE: Dimsee three.point.two - Curiosity Chronicles - Shannon - 03-06-2018
Did you experience this level of stonewalling on 3.1 by this point in the testing cycle?