02-24-2018, 12:12 AM
As if I could resist checking out the updated mind and reality bender.
Got off of SE after a good one-stage length, had some subliminal-free days, but nowhere near the 21 (or now 35) days to allow for a non-turbulence inducing start with DMSI.
TID effects started about a week before the drop of the dimsee-bomb. On the positive side: worked with a 18-year old 7.5/10 coworker from my part-time job (only saw her briefly once or twice before from the distance), normal cheerfulness that I shower everyone with from me. The work is physical, so no means to get out of each others way. She opened up within minutes, lots of joking from both sides. She started bantering pretty soon and got playfully touchy-feely for a few times. She threw in some ambiguous comments (emphazising herself that they were ambiguous) and statements like her bra-strings are sliding (remember: physical labor). I stayed playful but did not cross the line to enter a deeper game of banter. Just enjoying and observing. Her reactions were more reserved and distanced the days after.
Negative TID-effects: Increasing anxiety, decreasing of mental focus, decreasing drive to work with the same kind of spirit on my thesis as I did the weeks prior to it. Increasing tiredness throughout the day although I got in 10+ hours of sleep a night.
Got in the first loop more than 12 hours ago.
First effects: Had to get into bed for sleep really early (have had an exhausting day, but still). My mental focus decreased even more, not sure if I can get some work on my thesis done today.
Dreams (the parts that I remember) were interesting: Ex-GF's and other delicious female friends (both categories fall under "now in a relationship") showed up (sometimes merging into one-another), coming onto me kissing me (my memory is strangely clear on the kissing). It did not go further, but was completely fulfilling in and of itself. The boyfriends were present too, but they did not matter in the least.
For reference: earlier versions of the sub were kind of ineffective for me. I probably was deep in resistance territory.
Got off of SE after a good one-stage length, had some subliminal-free days, but nowhere near the 21 (or now 35) days to allow for a non-turbulence inducing start with DMSI.
TID effects started about a week before the drop of the dimsee-bomb. On the positive side: worked with a 18-year old 7.5/10 coworker from my part-time job (only saw her briefly once or twice before from the distance), normal cheerfulness that I shower everyone with from me. The work is physical, so no means to get out of each others way. She opened up within minutes, lots of joking from both sides. She started bantering pretty soon and got playfully touchy-feely for a few times. She threw in some ambiguous comments (emphazising herself that they were ambiguous) and statements like her bra-strings are sliding (remember: physical labor). I stayed playful but did not cross the line to enter a deeper game of banter. Just enjoying and observing. Her reactions were more reserved and distanced the days after.
Negative TID-effects: Increasing anxiety, decreasing of mental focus, decreasing drive to work with the same kind of spirit on my thesis as I did the weeks prior to it. Increasing tiredness throughout the day although I got in 10+ hours of sleep a night.
Got in the first loop more than 12 hours ago.
First effects: Had to get into bed for sleep really early (have had an exhausting day, but still). My mental focus decreased even more, not sure if I can get some work on my thesis done today.
Dreams (the parts that I remember) were interesting: Ex-GF's and other delicious female friends (both categories fall under "now in a relationship") showed up (sometimes merging into one-another), coming onto me kissing me (my memory is strangely clear on the kissing). It did not go further, but was completely fulfilling in and of itself. The boyfriends were present too, but they did not matter in the least.
For reference: earlier versions of the sub were kind of ineffective for me. I probably was deep in resistance territory.
_ - Third Stone From The Sun - _
