(08-04-2017, 12:04 PM)Have at ye Wrote: Liking the one on smoking. Very much true, as far as I can tell.

Quote:The wwy to give up an addiction is to gain new positive ones. Nature abhors a vaccums therefore a new addiction must replace the old.

(08-10-2017, 12:24 AM)Zane Wrote: Thanks for the NoFap link.. Those are some great posts and makes me think what I really want from life

(08-10-2017, 04:16 PM)Benjamin Wrote:

Quote:The wwy to give up an addiction is to gain new positive ones. Nature abhors a vaccums therefore a new addiction must replace the old.

It's not really that simple. It can help like if you're dealing with food cravings then do something relaxing like go for a walk, but it also has to be combined with dealing with the emotions and subconscious mind for best results.

Just replacing it isn't dealing with the real issue of why you have that coping mechanism.

Quote:https://goo.gl/AjZbFG

1. Write down what habit you're going to change and your plan.
   
2. Identify your triggers and replacement habits.
   
3. Focus on doing the replacement habits every single time the triggers happen, for at least 30 day.
   
4. Log your progress.
   

1. Do just one habit at a time. Extremely important. Habit change is difficult, even with just one habit. If you do more than one habit at a time, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Allow yourself to focus, and give yourself the best chance for success.
   
2. For at least one month, focus entirely on being as consistent with your triggers as possible. In my experience, it takes about 4-6 weeks to change a habit. This is a round number and will vary from person to person and habit to habit. The more consistent you are, the better the habit will form. If you sometimes do the new habit when the trigger occurs, and sometimes don’t, the new habit won’t form very well. Try to do it every single time. If for some reason you fail, extend the one-month period and try to be very consistent from that point onward. You can move on when you don’t have to consciously do the change — you automatically do it. It’ll take a couple more months of repetition before it becomes really automatic, probably, but if you don’t really need to remind yourself, but just go to do the habit right after your trigger, it’s starting to become a part of your routine. At this point, you can start a new habit, as long as you’re keeping an eye on maintaining the first one.
   
3. Start small. The smaller the better, and trying to take on too much is a recipe for disaster. Want to exercise? Start with just 5-10 minutes. Want to wake up earlier? Try just 10 minutes earlier for now. Cut back from 20 cigarettes to 15, then 10, then 5, then zero. If you do this a week at a time, it won’t seem so difficult, and you might have a better chance of succeeding.
   
4. Write it down. Just saying you’re going to change the habit is not enough of a commitment. Write what habit you’re going to change.
   
5. Make a plan. This will ensure you’re really prepared. The plan should include your reasons (motivations) for changing, obstacles, triggers, and other ways you’re going to make this a success.
   
   1. Know your motivations, and be sure they’re strong. You have to be very clear why you’re doing this, and the benefits of doing it need to be clear in your head.
      
   2. Write down all your obstacles. If you’ve tried this habit change before, you’ve likely failed. Write down every obstacle that’s happened to you, and others that are likely to happen. Then write down how you plan to overcome them.
      
   3. Identify your triggers. What situations trigger your current habit? For the smoking habit, for example, triggers might include waking in the morning, having coffee, drinking alcohol, stressful meetings, going out with friends, driving, etc. Most habits have multiple triggers. Identify all of them and write them in your plan.
      
   
   
6. Do the new habit each time the trigger happens. This will take a lot of conscious effort — be very aware of when the trigger happens, and very aware of doing the new habit instead of the old automatic one.
   
7. Log your progress.
   
8. Be aware of your thinking. You have to watch your thoughts and realize when you’re making excuses for doing your old bad habit, or when you start feeling like giving up instead of sticking to your change. Don’t believe your rationalizations. The important thing is to realize when you’re having them, and push them out of your head. Then replace them with a positive thought.
   
9. Don’t give yourself exceptions. For smoking, I had an acronym, N.O.P.E. (Not One Puff Ever). It meant that I should never give in to the rationalization that one puff wouldn’t hurt. It does hurt, because it leads to a second, then a third. Don’t give in to this rationalization. Be vigilant.
   
10. Beat the urge to do the old habit. Watch the urges, and delay. You will get urges to do your bad habit, when the triggers happen. These urges are dangerous if you just act on them without thinking. Learn to recognize them as they happen, and just sit there watch the urge rise and get stronger, and then and fall. Delay yourself, if you really want to act on the urge.
    
11. Learn from mistakes. We all mess up sometimes — if you do, be forgiving, and don’t let one mistake derail you. See what happened, accept it, figure out a better plan for next time. Write this on your Quit Plan. Your plan will get better and better as you continually improve it. In this way, mistakes are helping you improve the method.
    
12. Get rest. Being tired leaves us vulnerable to relapse. Get a lot of rest so you can have the energy to overcome urges.
    
13. Drink lots of water. Being dehydrated leaves us open to failure.
    
14. Enjoy the new habit. You’ll stick with it longer if you do.
    

(08-10-2017, 04:16 PM)Benjamin Wrote:

Quote:The wwy to give up an addiction is to gain new positive ones. Nature abhors a vaccums therefore a new addiction must replace the old.

It's not really that simple. It can help like if you're dealing with food cravings then do something relaxing like go for a walk, but it also has to be combined with dealing with the emotions and subconscious mind for best results.

Just replacing it isn't dealing with the real issue of why you have that coping mechanism.