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+--- Thread: How to help my friend? (/Thread-How-to-help-my-friend)
How to help my friend? - M1dn1ghtM@dness - 04-09-2016
Hi, i want to keep my friend as my friend but he is so negative especially about girls. Even when he picked me up yesterday he was oozing negativity so much i literly felt i could see the negativity steaming off his head. I could see it in his eyes and how he held the steering wheel and I could see it in his face and his lips when he talked. He could have even put on a smile and seemed happy but I still would have seen the negatvity pour out there was no hiding it.
He is always complaining and being negative and says that other people drain him and others are emotion vampires and blames others for all his problems and yesterday he was suppose to give this girl a ride and at last minute bailed on her so she was a mad girl and said if he was for real she would never talk to him again and he got so mad he showed me a video he sent her and the negativity was steaming out of his head, you could see it in the video but how will a girl not get mad if she's waiting for a ride all day and needs to be somewhere and then at last minute once it's too late for her to find a new ride then you finally say you can't do it?
He is always so negative and pointing fingers and will never take blame for anything in life. The video he sent this girl was disgusting, just him shaking in negativity with the negative energy so thick it was oozing out of his head and I swear you could see it, his lips were barely moving while he was swearing and saying disgusting things the her and his whole body was shaking. This is just a small example, it seems every time I see him he is so negative, and I am always so positive and I only like to be around positive so I might have to never talk to him again because I don't like to be around negativity at all.
I don't want to spend money for a sub for him because I really think he won't listen to the sub anyways, but if i put the emotional healing sub on a cd for him and he really does listen every night in his sleep, will this sub help him to stop playing victim and stop oozing out negativity like he just got done bathing in negative energy for years? He also smokes cigaretes and smokes pot and drinks, will this sub also heal him of whatever makes him do these things?
I really doubt he will even listen to the cd even once but if it will help him then if I give him the cd at least then i tried before just giving up and not being his friend any more because even though he is a good friend being aroung someone so negative only brings me down instead of bringing me up.
So will this cd help him? and how do i tell him to use it every night when he sleeps and be sure he does because a cd like that will be very strange for him...
RE: How to help my friend? - maxx55 - 04-09-2016
It definitely sounds like it'd be beneficial for him. But I don't think you could say anything to trick him into listening every night. His first reaction will probably be to stop when he starts having unpleasant dreams.
He has to want it for himself.
RE: How to help my friend? - Aventus45 - 04-09-2016
I agree with Maxx55. Self-improvement has to come from himself or else it wouldn't last. I had a best friend who has severe oneitis and I gave him every resource I knew about self improvement but it did nothing for him because he didn't want to improve himself. There's only so much you can do about him if he is resisting change. Just watch out if he starts influence you and drains your energy.
RE: How to help my friend? - Shannon - 04-09-2016
My advice is, suggest the options he has to him, and then move on with your own life even if that means walking away from him. You can't force someone to change or heal or grow. And while he would change and heal and grow if he used EHPRA 2.0 for long enough, if you have to trick him into using it, he's not ready for it yet.
If I were in your shoes, I would spell out for him how negative he is and how bad that is for his life and happiness and success, and then walk away and leave him behind. I have had to do exactly that more than once. Such people are not done yet discovering how much pain they are causing themselves, and you can't force them to understand.
RE: How to help my friend? - Womanizer - 04-09-2016
I learned something valuable after observing people on and on off. You cannot change someone , they have to want to grow and change themselves , only then there is hope.
RE: How to help my friend? - M1dn1ghtM@dness - 04-09-2016
Yes, you guys are all for sure right. I'm sure if I take the time to make the CD he for sure wont listen and if he did i'm sure he stop when it starts changing him. Thanks you guys i was thinking the same thing maybe its best to switch him to aquantance than friend because i'm so bad at being confrontational so i think i'll only see him when i'm with other friends too so his energy wont affect me. Thanks you guys are right he has to change himself with his own will to change.
RE: How to help my friend? - wolverine_i_am - 04-14-2016
It's impossible to help friends. Only they can help themselves. They aren't gonna wanna listen. Over time, you'll end up distancing from each other anyway. It's just how it goes. Like attracts like.