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+--- Thread: Self re/discovery (/Thread-Self-re-discovery)
Self re/discovery - Leo1990 - 03-14-2016
Hello again,
Its been awhile since I have posted anything.
I have started EHPRA v2. Im starting this because I want to get over any fears I have and to find myself, who I really am.
I had started a thread (in the drafts) and figured it would be too long for any of you to read. I see alot of new faces on here so I will give a brief background before I begin.
I started off with EHPRA 1v for I think 90 days back in Nov-Dec of 2014. Then bought AM6 and did that until June? Found it to be too intensive (of how many stages and all) so I returned for a refund.
Anyway, alot has happened. I could write chapters on this (no seriously I-did but deleted it because I didn't want to do a TL;DR at the end
)Was jobless when AM6 ended.
In July got this crappy job that didn't pay well, I leveraged that to get the job I wanted at good pay (Local and State govt in IT). So basically I started this Govt. job in late July.
In August moved out. Moved to a more college town with hot babes (will get to this in a moment). City size: ~300k
Saved $$ and took a daygame.com boot-camp in LA in September with Andy and Martin. I will mention a few things:
1. Definitely mind opening. I did some solo one-on-one with Andy after it ended. In total probably went up to 70-90 women. Got some insta-dates but no real super-success. I attribute this to old-BS creeping in. I also was wearing an inappropriate T-Shirt (naked girls) and swim-trunks when talking to girls (I did this to prove to myself that you cant hurt your chances by doing so- which was true).
2. I met a very good friend of mine (a co-student) by doing so. He ended up moving in with me at my house.
September: Found it hard to approach/go-up-to any girls still. Very hard. In-fact I did no approaches. Thank god my friend was moving in, in October.
October-November: Best months of 2014. We went to the college every-day and went up to girls, pushed eachother. HARD. I Didn't get any success (he did- but we were on different levels to start anyway)- (When I mean success I mean lays, I did have alot of dates though). I started with big-girls. What can I say, "Started from the bottom now we're here."
Anyway, at that time working on sexualization of intrest. Not being afraid of being sexual, leading, dates and stuff.
December: The Best Month I have ever had. My friend decides hes going to live in Hawaii. So he does. I feel like shit. Its good to have someone who motivates you to push yourself.
I pay for another boot-camp. This time with Yad.
My momentum stays with me. And I still approach. I get my first Daygame lay with a chick from the University. A 6 id say. I also ask out my Barista (Just turned 18- solid 9). At this point I am learning more and more how to be sexual. What to do and not.
More often than not, you don't go for the hail-mary on the first date. Lesson learned. 1st venue is playful and non-intimate (however every-date ive been on- I have successfully made-out/ no-resistance). 2nd venue is more intimate (your sitting side-by-side), after: "hey you should come by and see my puppy" "ok". She comes over, sees my puppy, I take her for a tour. The last place... my bedroom. Bam. Kiss. Sex.
Oh so that first girl was a 6. Got the barista home on the first date (and after only the first venue- she was a horny girl. Im going to remember that girl for life, I riskly hit it raw- it worked out
)Thats 2.
Went on the boot-camp. Basically just me and Yad. This sh** was crazy. Not only did I meet a ton of women it was like, I was way better than before (oh yeah and barista chick is sending me nudes... score!). I love Santa-Monica. Damn.
I get lots of insta-dates, lots of feedback and I just feel friggin awesome! Like on-fire. Boot-camp ends. I stay in Venice Beach for 3 more days. On Monday, im not really feeling it but I go up to this cute 8, she casually mentions she could go for a drink or coffee. We go for coffee. The line is long. Never-mind, we go for drinks. Long story short, I kiss her after the first venue, pull her to another then go for food. Then back to my place. First Same-day-lay. Wow. Like Wow. Mind blown.
Thats 3.
Last day, I'm in Santa-Monica. One particular girl is being a bit cold. I keep texting her. I finally get her out. We go out for food. At first not much flirting. But its me, I'm in my head. Take a couple breaths and loosen up. It works. We hit a second venue, then walk back to my car (I tell her I no longer am staying at a place because I am leaving tonight). We make-out, clothes come off. Bam.
Thats 4
And I meet a girl on Bumble on New Years eve. That one is easy, shes already to go.
Thats 5.
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So alot has changed for me. I no longer am insecure about girls. If I see one, I go up to her. No questions asked. I ask her out and seal the deal.
The thing is that I am trying to figure out with EPRAH v2 is that after I came back from Santa-Monica, I don't have much of a desire for women anymore. I think it may be where I am living (the city feels too small) I'm just not that happy where I am currently living. Or I am just tired of women and would rather focus on myself. I feel as though, women are alot more work than I want to put in. I am not really sure. I would like some feedback on this (anyone have this before?)...
(I Forgot to mention... I stopped looking at porn awhile ago. My desire decreased alot but so did any depression. Depression of beautiful women- why arent any in my life etc. But I do feel alot better since Im not looking at porn)
But one thing is for sure. I broke the glass ceiling that I had for myself, I truly believed that I could not be loved or have beautiful women attracted to me. I no longer feel this way. I know that I always held the key to success in dating/sex realm.
(I think alot of guys come from the mindset that they need lines or something to get women attracted. The fact is: You don't need anything. All you need is your C**k. And now I know.)
I have done some scary stuff since then that I had fear towards: Skydiving, Karaoke and Improv comedy.
Anyway this is my journal...
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First real entry:
I have been thinking of moving back to the small town I originally left (when I got the govt job). I dont have to drive 45m to home/to work every-day and have been looking forward to getting rid of alot of stuff. Alot. Its a bit weird. All I feel that I need is a place to sleep, one or two electronic devices, some books, clothing and my motorcycle.
I didn't mention this but I also bought a motorcycle. BMW K100, fixer upper. I am enjoying the process of fixing it.
I am going to take a trip this summer from Imperial Beach (San-Diego) to Vancouver BC on my motorcycle. Ride HYW 1 (PCH) all the way. Then next year I want to spend 6 months in Brazil. Maybe never come back.
I just have had this deep desire to change or keep changing. [edited as per rule 4]
-Leo
RE: Self re/discovery - maxx55 - 03-14-2016
It's great that you're running EPRHA 2! It seems like you don't really have any major issues or major goals you are aiming for right now (at least you didn't mention it). But I wish you the best on your run!
Maybe if you still don't know exactly what you want to do after your run, you could try Find Your Perfect Job or something along those lines.
RE: Self re/discovery - Leo1990 - 03-14-2016
Thanks guys for the welcoming
I was thinking of running this 3-16 months.
RE: Self re/discovery - Benjamin - 03-14-2016
Nice progress man.. good to hear
RE: Self re/discovery - LionKing - 03-14-2016
(03-14-2016, 09:41 AM)LeoistheSun Wrote: The thing is that I am trying to figure out with EPRAH v2 is that after I came back from Santa-Monica, I don't have much of a desire for women anymore. I think it may be where I am living (the city feels too small) I'm just not that happy where I am currently living. Or I am just tired of women and would rather focus on myself. I feel as though, women are alot more work than I want to put in. I am not really sure. I would like some feedback on this (anyone have this before?)...
(I Forgot to mention... I stopped looking at porn awhile ago. My desire decreased alot but so did any depression. Depression of beautiful women- why arent any in my life etc. But I do feel alot better since Im not looking at porn)
But one thing is for sure. I broke the glass ceiling that I had for myself, I truly believed that I could not be loved or have beautiful women attracted to me. I no longer feel this way. I know that I always held the key to success in dating/sex realm.
Would you think that "I truly believed that I could not be loved or have beautiful women attracted to me" and "Depression of beautiful women- why arent any in my life" describe a trauma of sorts, a hurt that drove you to make all that effort to recover from it, and know that it has healed a bit you feel that "(Or) I am just tired of women and would rather focus on myself. I feel as though, women are alot more work than I want to put in."? Note that I'm not judging at all, I've thought about this wrt. myself many times.
RE: Self re/discovery - Leo1990 - 03-15-2016
:/ a little bit confused as to what you are meaning Lionking.
Its hard to tell really still about my desire. I definitely overcame that particular mountain. of self doubt and despair. I live in a small town, and when I was working on myself when I was in LA. Night and day difference and that perhaps also allowed me to open up. (I didnt have to worry about work/$$ or anything- I literally got to "let go" of all my worries- This is ONE key of being great with women, you become so playful- they absolutely love it!!)
I remember Tony/Anthony Robbins and he mentioned something like this: Your environment is a trigger, a anchor to your feelings. I do feel something like that here. If you want to change you have to leave your environment that your currently in. I believe what he said to be 100% true.
I also will forever know that I am an attractive person so even if I were to not have sex for awhile I would still know what to do. Its so easy really.
I cant figure out if how I feel now is:
a.) Me copping out, and its just an excuse- in which case I should still be pushing myself harder than before.
b.) Refocusing on work to get the hell out of my current living situation so I can move to somewhere I want to (like LA). And possibly not taking women serious here because I dont want the risk of a relationship/pregnancy to hold me here.
c.) I had it in mind but I forgot what I was going to say.
If you conquer your fear once its easier to do again, and again and again.
I do still have one big fear here still:
I want to conquer the bar/club scene like I did in the daytime, to not only:
a.) Have the ability to pull women home with me that same night
b.) Just have a good time and let go
c.) Make friends that want to Hang out with me
I should also mention that the Same Day Lay girl and some others, never contacted me back/never responded to my texts. It should be mentioned that it is a slippery slope I think: You can easily become any woman's lover... At-least for a day, but to genuinely connect with that person too- is much more elusive than I originally thought.
Just fuc*ing a woman does not give you the key to her psyche. It does not mean she will want to see you again. Contrary to the knowledge that "you have more power in the relationship if you sleep with her quicker..."
Still need to genuinely bond with her.
And thats also why I find it hard to make friends- I think its the same thing. Hard to bond with people. Not sure why but slowly Im figuring this out.
Little more than I thought I would say...
Help?
RE: Self re/discovery - Benjamin - 03-15-2016
Remember rule 3 man.. no mentions of religion