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RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - LionKing - 02-12-2016
"50 men, and made myself vulnerable and shared where i'm at in my journey, and what i struggle with"? Wow, I can imagine that must've been pretty great! Really sounding good.
"nice guy", but she said she was nervous about meeting you. The platonic type of "nice guy" you're thinking doesn't make women nervous. But of course still avoid being too boyfriendy so she won't associate you with that too much.
I am a nice guy as well, and I used to hate it when I thought I need to act like an asshole in order to not have women attach to me too much so I could continue happily dating whoever I please. You don't need to be like that, BUT you gotta have no shame/fear/quilt of being honest with her, and of dating multiple women. Having issues around those makes you become "closed" about them, which makes you avoid expression when they come up, which makes you possibly supplicate and/or lead them on, which makes for bad feelings for you both down the road. Ask me how I know. But sorry, not preaching, its just something that's been really clicking into place for me lately.
RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - eternity - 02-13-2016
(02-12-2016, 12:40 AM)LionKing Wrote: "50 men, and made myself vulnerable and shared where i'm at in my journey, and what i struggle with"? Wow, I can imagine that must've been pretty great! Really sounding good.
"nice guy", but she said she was nervous about meeting you. The platonic type of "nice guy" you're thinking doesn't make women nervous. But of course still avoid being too boyfriendy so she won't associate you with that too much.
I am a nice guy as well, and I used to hate it when I thought I need to act like an asshole in order to not have women attach to me too much so I could continue happily dating whoever I please. You don't need to be like that, BUT you gotta have no shame/fear/quilt of being honest with her, and of dating multiple women. Having issues around those makes you become "closed" about them, which makes you avoid expression when they come up, which makes you possibly supplicate and/or lead them on, which makes for bad feelings for you both down the road. Ask me how I know. But sorry, not preaching, its just something that's been really clicking into place for me lately.
yeah man! i do believe in being upfront with the women. If I knowingly put a woman in a position to be hurt just so I can have a little piece of her, that's wrong and totally NOT alpha. I must be willing to risk not moving forward with her to avoid paying the cost of putting her in a position to be hurt. there's plenty of other women anyway.
so we went out to a rave tonight, where it was a group setting... some of my friends showed up and some of her friends showed up... she was all over me when she was around, but she was freaking glued to the bar getting shot after shot, so i hardly got a chance to really interact with her. But I was having a perfectly good time dancing with my own group of friends that I just didn't give a flying rat's ass... In fact, I spent my time more productively, by interacting with a beautiful hispanic girl who was wearing a sexy pikachu costume that I had just met while I was there and dancing with her. here's the kicker: i had no approach anxiety introducing myself to this stunningly gorgeous woman. i even met some new people in this setting and really enjoyed myself, and found another guy who loves to dance like I do, and talked to him for quite a while. we'll be seeing each other soon. I will soon meet his friends, and hopefully there's a couple nice girls I can meet through his network! =) I've been to countless raves before, and I write about it all the time in my journals, as they're great testing grounds for pheromones and subliminals for me. I felt FAR MORE comfortable in my own skin than I ever have before. I felt like I was at home. My eyes still wander quite a bit, though.
I catch myself constantly looking to see who's watching me (yeah i know i'm a great dancer so i wanna see which girls are looking
), and plus i'm a self proclaimed attention junkie... i don't know if that's necessarily related to a fear of mine, though. since I tend to do this just as much as before, giving me either 2 possibilities I can think of: 1) It doesn't stem from a fear of being unimportant or 2)It's a deep rooted fear that's so deep that OF5g hasn't scratched the surface yet. whatever it is, we'll see.
back to the multiple partners ordeal... I've been exploring polyamory as a possible "label" to my evolving taste in love. i'm finding it more and more comfortable to identify myself as polyamorous, in that love and affection can be shown to multiple partners, in an OPEN and HONEST manner. not 3somes or orgy's or anything like that, but openly having multiple partners at any given time, and allowing each partner the liberty to do the same. although that doesn't mean i'll grab any ass that comes my way, i still have a screening process that is evolving constantly as I grow myself.
so yeah lionking, you're not being preachy at all i appreciate and encourage your feedback and thanks for commenting.
=)
RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - eternity - 02-13-2016
day 16
DAMN I was in a LOT of fear today, actively facing some intense fears which I'm glad I faced.
So there was this valentine's sweetheart auction today, where people were auctioned off and the audience (approx 80 ppl) could bid on the person being auctioned. Old feelings of undeservedness, self loathing, lack of self confidence and self worth, ALL came to the forefront and I almost left the building out of the fear of judgement, not being good enough, etc. i'm pretty sure I was feeling those emotions out of fear tied with guilt and shame from the past. so anyway, my name was called up and as i was walking up to the stage, i hear girls screaming my name from the audience and that kinda eased my emotions. the bid got to $35, and it f****ed me up that only guys bid for me. it was so freaking awkward, i immediately wanted to leave, but i stayed because all the money was being raised for a good cause anyway.
I had to sit in some pretty debilitating fear today and it SUCKED! But i'm super glad I got to experience that shit because now i'm really aware of the magnitude of my guilt shame and fear issues. there is a lot of work to do =/
RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - Shannon - 02-14-2016
The first step is realizing that a step must be taken. It's all good.
Putting yourself in an auction, though, that's just brutally asking for it.
RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - Benjamin - 02-14-2016
I think I probably would leave if guys were bidding for me :Z
Why happens with the person who wins? You just hang out with them for a while or something?
RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - eternity - 02-14-2016
the "date" is optional, the whole event was for a fund raiser. some girl was auctioned for 130, and didn't even give the guy who won the time of day upon winning.
and really, almost everyone knows everyone else, so it's all in good fun, and for a good cause.
RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - eternity - 02-17-2016
day 19
I'm going to new york city tomorrow for a conference. it'll be the 5th conference of this type that i'm going to in the USA, and i'll be seeing people from all over the states that I have met over the previous 4 times. It's gonna be cool.
Let's see how my approach anxiety does!
A buddy and I are bunked up with some chicks from canada in a hotel, we'll see how it goes
I'm really freaking excited, I know it's going to be a hella fun weekend for me. I might even miss some hours on OF if it comes down to it, but i'm really not too worried. worst case scenario, i'll download it on my phone and play it on crappy mono speakers on my note 3.
RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - Shannon - 02-17-2016
mono is better than nono.
RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - eternity - 02-20-2016
day21
So I'm still dealing with some fear of people in new environments, even when I know some people in the new environment. If I expected to have lost this uneasiness already at 3 weeks into OF, I had been in the wrong. The sub still needs lots of time to become ingrained, and considering how deeply fear is rooted, it should logically proceed that it can be expected to take months to overcome fear.
I do feel little chunks of my life is being improved as Bits and pieces of fear dissolve as time goes on, but I think I might have plateaued on fast and powerful results for the time being. Although every time I say that I find myself on the verge of a breakthrough. But the excitement of the program has died down and now the real work starts.
Shannon, is there anything you can recommend to directly assist in conquering fears consciously?
Feel free to tell me I'm over thinking it lol
RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - Breeze - 02-20-2016
You are not alone.
Other than being happier and decrease in self-sabotage behaviour, the fireworks of the first week have died down. All the excitement and rush of overcoming fear has taken a back seat. I wouldn't have said it in different words myself, the real work starts.
RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - Shannon - 02-20-2016
(02-20-2016, 12:09 AM)eternitys_child Wrote: day21
So I'm still dealing with some fear of people in new environments, even when I know some people in the new environment. If I expected to have lost this uneasiness already at 3 weeks into OF, I had been in the wrong. The sub still needs lots of time to become ingrained, and considering how deeply fear is rooted, it should logically proceed that it can be expected to take months to overcome fear.
I do feel little chunks of my life is being improved as Bits and pieces of fear dissolve as time goes on, but I think I might have plateaued on fast and powerful results for the time being. Although every time I say that I find myself on the verge of a breakthrough. But the excitement of the program has died down and now the real work starts.
Shannon, is there anything you can recommend to directly assist in conquering fears consciously?
Feel free to tell me I'm over thinking it lol
You're overthinking it.
Remember the program is designed to work in ways and at speeds you are comfortable with. That means it will work at different speeds for each person. You can't have expectations - just let it do it's job, and try to be cooperative.
As for things you can do consciously, I find that it's a balancing act. Some people need to be very aggressive dealing with them, such as they're puking with fear but they jump out of that plane anyway. Others would be permanently damaged emotionally from doing such a thing. It depends on too many variables I don't have defined to really answer that question.
RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - eternity - 02-20-2016
Thanks Shannon, I should take my own suggestions to set it and forget it, lol.
day 22
I find my mind occasionally going to some dark and twisted places lately. I'm having thoughts that don't seem like normal people would have. I don't want to go into detail on here.
I have been pretty hard on myself when it comes to this newly rediscovered social anxiety I have been having. I think it might have ties with shame.
That's it for now. I will keep my updates brief going forward.
RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - CatMan - 02-22-2016
(02-20-2016, 11:40 PM)eternitys_child Wrote: I find my mind occasionally going to some dark and twisted places lately. I'm having thoughts that don't seem like normal people would have. I don't want to go into detail on here.
I have been pretty hard on myself when it comes to this newly rediscovered social anxiety I have been having.
Exact same experience with me too.
I'm positive "normal people" don't think what I think of either. I too don't want to go into much detail in such a place. OF seems to be the deepest sub Shannon has, nothing else comes close to this sub's depth. I don't care what anybody says, OF is real talk, serious business man, nothing compares to it.
I also am very hard on myself and all my failure with girls. It's to the point now where I don't like reading magnet journals, as they just make me feel bad and like even more of a failure. I'm very hard on myself already about this, I don't need any help to do that.
Don't feel bad, man. You aren't alone, believe me. Just wanted you to know that!
OF 5G brothers, united.
RE: Epic Fear Destruction 5G - Breeze - 02-22-2016
Talking about dark and twisted places, I can't get rid of this one imagine out of my head, I'll not go into details but it's pretty horrifying. Though, I find myself embracing it rather than running away from it. So that's a good sign.