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+--- Thread: Need advice on next sub (/Thread-Need-advice-on-next-sub)
Need advice on next sub - Rowan psych - 03-13-2015
Hi,
I am after some advice on which sub to start now.
I am looking for something to make me more talkative in all conversational situations.
I come across as arrogant to a lot of people i meet because i just answer to them basically.
I am fairly confident as is.
Not interested in going through AM6, preferably doing a single stage sub.
Please some advice guys.
Thanks
RE: Need advice on next sub - Shawn - 03-13-2015
Which sub did you listen to until now?
RE: Need advice on next sub - DarthXedonias - 03-13-2015
I would say go for LTU 3.1 if you don't want to go through AM6+WM. LTU actually has "Enjoying socializing with others, and doing so more easily" in it. Running it for the recommended 6 months should probably help you out. Also, its a good one to start off with (besides, EPHRA) so you don't get as much resistance from AM6 if you change your mind about running it later down the road.
RE: Need advice on next sub - Rowan psych - 03-13-2015
I've done a run of AM6 but that was too much of a rollercoaster and motivation killer for my life right now.
I'm going through ASC at the moment but am ready to move on.
LTU 3.1 sounds like a good idea, i think i'll give that a minimum 3 months now , thanks!
RE: Need advice on next sub - Ace - 03-13-2015
(03-13-2015, 04:56 AM)Rowan psych Wrote: I come across as arrogant to a lot of people i meet because i just answer to them basically.Those two things don't go together. I suggest EPRHA, OF, ASC.
I am fairly confident as is.
RE: Need advice on next sub - Benjamin - 03-14-2015
I disagree, somehow there is alot of talk about how being cocky or a bit arrogant isn't confidence and I don't know where it come from. I wonder if it is related to how masculinity is being attacked.
I mean at the extreme level yes it can be compensating and there is people who do that and it can come from insecurity.
But at the same time when I am fully confident I am also naturally cocky and it comes out in my interactions. And when that happens it isn't coming from insecurity.
I think that in some cases they actually do go together, and I can't say for sure but i'd point the finger at something to do with political correctness causing so much information out there telling us this isn't true.
RE: Need advice on next sub - thor2014 - 03-15-2015
What is EPRHA ?
RE: Need advice on next sub - GlaizenGold777 - 03-15-2015
Emotional Pain Relief & Healing Aids = EPRHA.
RE: Need advice on next sub - Ace - 03-15-2015
(03-14-2015, 04:30 PM)Benjamin Wrote: I disagree, somehow there is alot of talk about how being cocky or a bit arrogant isn't confidence and I don't know where it come from. I wonder if it is related to how masculinity is being attacked.No problem man.
I mean at the extreme level yes it can be compensating and there is people who do that and it can come from insecurity.
But at the same time when I am fully confident I am also naturally cocky and it comes out in my interactions. And when that happens it isn't coming from insecurity.
I think that in some cases they actually do go together, and I can't say for sure but i'd point the finger at something to do with political correctness causing so much information out there telling us this isn't true.
I think confidence is your belief in your abilities whereas arrogance is confidence gained by putting others down. You can be cocky in a funny way (heck, people love it). But being cocky by putting others down is arrogance.
RE: Need advice on next sub - Natious - 03-17-2015
(03-15-2015, 02:45 AM)Ace Wrote:(03-14-2015, 04:30 PM)Benjamin Wrote: I disagree, somehow there is alot of talk about how being cocky or a bit arrogant isn't confidence and I don't know where it come from. I wonder if it is related to how masculinity is being attacked.No problem man.
I mean at the extreme level yes it can be compensating and there is people who do that and it can come from insecurity.
But at the same time when I am fully confident I am also naturally cocky and it comes out in my interactions. And when that happens it isn't coming from insecurity.
I think that in some cases they actually do go together, and I can't say for sure but i'd point the finger at something to do with political correctness causing so much information out there telling us this isn't true.
I think confidence is your belief in your abilities whereas arrogance is confidence gained by putting others down. You can be cocky in a funny way (heck, people love it). But being cocky by putting others down is arrogance.
Seems like a pretty accurate description, I'd say there's also anger involved to some length. Confidence is that you know you have the capability to succeed in what you decide to tackle. Arrogance seems to come when you are not sure that you can succeed and then become angry for not being able to, so you put others down below yourself and create the illusion that you are better than them. This might also happen without acknowledging to yourself that you are insecure, so I can imagine that happening without the anger being much on the surface.
Personal observation while using AM and to the date really.
RE: Need advice on next sub - Benjamin - 03-17-2015
Ok, the way you put it I agree. I don't mean tearing others down, just being generally cocky and teasing girls for example.. but not being like "hey bitch.. bow down to me" or anything like that.
For what i mean I think the word cocky fits better than arrogance.. as they are slightly different things.
RE: Need advice on next sub - SargeMaximus - 03-17-2015
(03-15-2015, 02:45 AM)Ace Wrote:(03-14-2015, 04:30 PM)Benjamin Wrote: I disagree, somehow there is alot of talk about how being cocky or a bit arrogant isn't confidence and I don't know where it come from. I wonder if it is related to how masculinity is being attacked.No problem man.
I mean at the extreme level yes it can be compensating and there is people who do that and it can come from insecurity.
But at the same time when I am fully confident I am also naturally cocky and it comes out in my interactions. And when that happens it isn't coming from insecurity.
I think that in some cases they actually do go together, and I can't say for sure but i'd point the finger at something to do with political correctness causing so much information out there telling us this isn't true.
I think confidence is your belief in your abilities whereas arrogance is confidence gained by putting others down. You can be cocky in a funny way (heck, people love it). But being cocky by putting others down is arrogance.
I have to chime in here. I, personally, come across as arrogant many times, but I don't put others down. I DO tell them how they could improve their lives, OR I tell my strong points, but never belittle people simply to raise myself up.
I think that overconfidence and arrogance go hand in hand, the more confident you are, the more intimidated and inferior those around you will feel.
The worst part is that we confident types are shamed into believing that it's wrong of us to be so confident, so we spend much of our lives trying to keep ourselves down and "humble" just so those around us can feel better about themselves. Emotional altruism in a way.
RE: Need advice on next sub - Natious - 03-18-2015
(03-17-2015, 06:33 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote:(03-15-2015, 02:45 AM)Ace Wrote:(03-14-2015, 04:30 PM)Benjamin Wrote: I disagree, somehow there is alot of talk about how being cocky or a bit arrogant isn't confidence and I don't know where it come from. I wonder if it is related to how masculinity is being attacked.No problem man.
I mean at the extreme level yes it can be compensating and there is people who do that and it can come from insecurity.
But at the same time when I am fully confident I am also naturally cocky and it comes out in my interactions. And when that happens it isn't coming from insecurity.
I think that in some cases they actually do go together, and I can't say for sure but i'd point the finger at something to do with political correctness causing so much information out there telling us this isn't true.
I think confidence is your belief in your abilities whereas arrogance is confidence gained by putting others down. You can be cocky in a funny way (heck, people love it). But being cocky by putting others down is arrogance.
I have to chime in here. I, personally, come across as arrogant many times, but I don't put others down. I DO tell them how they could improve their lives, OR I tell my strong points, but never belittle people simply to raise myself up.
I think that overconfidence and arrogance go hand in hand, the more confident you are, the more intimidated and inferior those around you will feel.
The worst part is that we confident types are shamed into believing that it's wrong of us to be so confident, so we spend much of our lives trying to keep ourselves down and "humble" just so those around us can feel better about themselves. Emotional altruism in a way.
I wouldn't say that you are arrogant, although it might be a little hard to differentiate from what people write rather than hear them talk. If anything you have more of a stubbornness/self assuredness kind of thing going on nowadays, which is way healthier than plain arrogance.
Overconfidence is similar indeed, but more like overestimating your ability and doing things you actually can't rather than put others down to prove that you are superior. Overconfidence can be more dangerous in my personal view, arrogance just annoys people and can get your ass kicked. But I have to say that I haven't seen any arrogant people on this forum. Everyone is here to help themselves and give advice to those who seek it, so in general we got this in check most of the time.
With the latter I agree. People want you to be on their level, so the quote from somewhere: "You are the average of your 5 closest people" applies quite well. I think the trick here is to see through the fake "confident" ones, be stubborn about their negative input and more receptive to those who have real confidence. Maybe not on all their opinions, but the criticism is more often useful and aimed for your benefit.