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+-- Forum: Men's Journals (18+ NSFW) (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals-18-NSFW)
+--- Forum: Men's Journals (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals)
+--- Thread: AM 5.0 Journal (/Thread-AM-5-0-Journal)
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - Shannon - 06-14-2013
Dissatisfaction is a motivator. Use it.
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - AlphaScorpio - 06-15-2013
I agree shannon, I do feel like stage 2 is kickcking my butt majorly like I get these random few seconds/minutes of hopelessness/gloomy feelings about failing or not changing etc. I do feel dissatisfied but yet I don't feel I have the drive or confidence to properly change my reality consciously.
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - AlphaScorpio - 06-16-2013
Made a decision that I'm going to finish AM5 after stage 6 then after two weeks I will run AM6 all the way through then 6months and 2 weeks later I will run AM6 again if I feel I need to... I want to really get serious about this alpha male stuff, wanna get rid of past programming and become my own man. Not going to do WM or SM because I wanna stay laserbeam focused on AM. I'm hoping that by time I finish 3 runthrough 2 of which will be AM6 that I'll be very self secure with no social anxiety or much anger and resentment and leading my own life and living it to the fullest. Will possibly incorporate other 4g subs in between the rests and in certain stages
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - Alec - 06-16-2013
(06-16-2013, 03:10 PM)AlphaScorpio Wrote: Made a decision that I'm going to finish AM5 after stage 6 then after two weeks I will run AM6 all the way through then 6months and 2 weeks later I will run AM6 again if I feel I need to... I want to really get serious about this alpha male stuff, wanna get rid of past programming and become my own man. Not going to do WM or SM because I wanna stay laserbeam focused on AM. I'm hoping that by time I finish 3 runthrough 2 of which will be AM6 that I'll be very self secure with no social anxiety or much anger and resentment and leading my own life and living it to the fullest. Will possibly incorporate other 4g subs in between the rests and in certain stages
Thats exactly what I was planning on doing too. Can't wait for AM6!
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - rayrocanaldo - 06-16-2013
(06-16-2013, 03:10 PM)AlphaScorpio Wrote: Made a decision that I'm going to finish AM5 after stage 6 then after two weeks I will run AM6 all the way through then 6months and 2 weeks later I will run AM6 again if I feel I need to... I want to really get serious about this alpha male stuff, wanna get rid of past programming and become my own man. Not going to do WM or SM because I wanna stay laserbeam focused on AM. I'm hoping that by time I finish 3 runthrough 2 of which will be AM6 that I'll be very self secure with no social anxiety or much anger and resentment and leading my own life and living it to the fullest. Will possibly incorporate other 4g subs in between the rests and in certain stages
Same thing I'm thinking of doing
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - AlphaScorpio - 06-17-2013
Stage 2 - Day - 26: Today I had a quick chat with my grandmother about the argument last night. She asked me why I push away those closest to me? Why do you try to make people dislike you? I said the problem is that I've always tried too hard to make people like me and lost a part of my identity due to sacrificing myself for others to like me. She said that's hard to believe because you treat your family like they are your rivals/enemies. She then said that her and my grandfather loved me very much but that their patience with me is running out. She also asked me if I could be more considerate of other people. Damn AM is really bringing out my fear of rejection, making me aware of it and how it affects other people as well as me this HAS to change cause it's wrecking my life and I've only just recently (since starting AM) been aware of how it's messing me up. I'm determined to finish this sub and get through it all, Stage 3 in 6 days.
Question to Shannon (if reading) Did AM help you with Rejection and being closed to people for fear that if you showed your real self they'd reject it? Assuming of course that you had this problem in the first place.
@Alec & Ray How far are you guys in your journey? You finished an AM set yet?
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - Alec - 06-17-2013
This is my first time going through alpha and I just started stage 6 yesterday.
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - rayrocanaldo - 06-17-2013
I'm not using Alpha yet. I'm working on my sexual confidence first then I'll start alpha in about 3 months.
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - Shannon - 06-17-2013
Quote:Question to Shannon (if reading) Did AM help you with Rejection and being closed to people for fear that if you showed your real self they'd reject it? Assuming of course that you had this problem in the first place.
That wasn't my primary issue, but it definitely destroyed that issue dead. You'll want to run OGSF alongside AM once you get to Stage 4.
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - Molon Labe - 06-17-2013
Alpha,
Good for you that you have found this technology at such an early age. I'm 42 and have spent thousands of dollars on therapy during my lifetime, some of which was likely useful however imo if this subliminal technology works as intended and advertised (I'm just beginning with it---day 4 total, lol) I feel it to be a much better value compared to psychotherapy, since it so strongly rewrites much of the foundational negative mental programming. Therapy never really did much of this for me.
On a second note, from reading your journal it sounds to me like there's a certain role you're expected to play in your family, and folks don't take too kindly to you challenging their expectations of you. I would posit a guess that this is a major contributor to your anger---i.e. people who supposedly are your biggest supporters, yet criticize you for your personal choices. And to boot, you are made to look like the bad guy when you don't cooperate with their sugar-coated demands. I come from such a background, so maybe I'm reading too much into your story.
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - SexyMofo - 06-18-2013
Hey Alpha I see your currently in the jerk stage so its quite normal. And its your first time to run this thing right? Plus your still young. I had this thing come up during my first run through.(to which I don't know if I wrote it in my previous journal, so am revealing it now). Anyway it takes time to be able to walk the fine line. You'll get there eventually.
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - AlphaScorpio - 06-18-2013
So yesterday after posting I decided to switch up my listening pattern, usually I'd only listen to AM at night while I sleep and I'd fairly often wake up with my headphones dangling round my head not even on properly...so I've decided to listen to AM whenever I can to get maximum exposure cause logically how can I not get results or at least some change if my brain is under constant bombardment from suggestions, at least this will stop me from fretting over whether I'm getting enough exposure to the subs!
@SexyMofo Yes, I definately feel like a cold hearted pig recently althought I think it's starting to level out, like I got an ego rebalance
Yes it's my first time doing AM, second subliminal I've ever used from Indigo. Not sure why but yesterday and today I've started caring less about seeing results and just getting as much exposure as possible.@Shannon Yep, that's the plan Shannon! I think I have a decent amount of shame and fear, not too sure about guilt. I've felt alot of shame in the past hence why I've had ALOT of anger.
@Molon Labe Hey mate, welcome to the forums. Yes, I'm glad I'm starting at this age because if I'm starting now where am I gonna be in 5 years when I'm 22/23? If I use AM for 5 years straight I'll be rock solid! I'm changing and growing fast.
Absolutely Molon, I have always felt that one of the reasons I get so angry is because those who claim to be my biggest supporters do critisize my ideas or look down upon them and try to redirect my life. I feel kinda betrayed plus confused which then makes me angry. I don't feel it's about the "role" I play in the family because I feel I've rejected being in a role due to feeling restricted and caged a little so I've rejected the family become almost an outcast, my family still love me and want me to be happy, and trust me when I was in a good mood (rarely) It would make most of my family around me very happy. Expectations have also caused me to reject and close down. Screw it, I guess I need to just focus on becoming strong and centered and choose my way of doing things in my life.
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - Shannon - 06-18-2013
Family is often the biggest critic, aside from the self. My family was extremely critical of me when I was younger. Now they respect me. AM will do amazing things for you, but you can only grow so fast.
RE: AM 5.0 Journal - Molon Labe - 06-18-2013
Alpha,
Thanks man, good to meet you. Yea, that negative family sh** is toxic to the soul if you fall prey to it, which isn't easy to avoid doing because in these particular cases your very tormentors have had years to chip away at your authentic self, and train you to dance pretty when they play their macabre tunes. But I'm not still bitter when I think about this stuff, lol. Uggness.
Also, Alpha, sounds like you are pretty good at owning and acting upon your feelings and desires, despite the constant stream of invitations from others around you not to. Good for you, my friend, keep up the good work.