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+--- Thread: deal with divorce (/Thread-deal-with-divorce)
deal with divorce - optom - 11-20-2012
HI, I did not really want to hang my dirty clothes out for all to see but since you can't pm Shannon (I can understand this to stop all kinds of people disturbing him) this is the only way I can get help or suggestions.
I am in a situation like I am sure a few of us have been in or might be one day. My husband doesn't love me anymore. It has been 5 years since we have had sex and I can't even remember when I had my last kiss or hug. Maybe my last hug was on my birthday. I have 2 children that are 7 and 4. He won't divorce me or let me go and support me; he doesn't want me to take the children. We are from 2 different countries and nationalities so if we split the kids will really suffer. He is not a bad father he doesn't abuse me physically he does not drink. So in his opinion we should just continue as is. Never mind if he has a girlfriend who is also married that he phones everyday and sees as often as possible. He thinks we should just carry on like this.
I can't really just leave him since it is really tough to find a job if the only thing on your résumé for the past 12 years is housewife.
I was wondering if it is possible to have a script that would help. That will help you decide that it is better for all to be happy and apart that miserable and together. Maybe it could be something that both can listen to at the same time that helps to clear out the doubts and that forces you to find a solution that doesn't hurt anyone but helps everyone accept facts.
I am not really expressing myself clear enough.
Or should I just go for something like luck Magnifier or BASE or BAMM.
RE: deal with divorce - Sean - 11-20-2012
You can always manifest a perfect job with Find Your Perfect Job.
RE: deal with divorce - Yuri - 11-20-2012
Hey optom.
I truly understand where your coming from, I have a very dear person to me going through in somewhat the same thing all her life and she still is, actually this appears to be not much of an uncommon thing for women, and you should not think of this as dirty clothes because it is not in fact it is the guy that should be ashamed not you.
here is what I think of this at first you need to let go of all the emotional baggage you carried first and that will set you free, because for you every decision you need to make you need to consider your children and that is not a simple task.
but here is the truth you need to put yourself first to be able to help them because an empty cup sadly cannot fill another as much as it would want to.
I suggest AF for this, It might be able to give you the control back to your life that you need, because my guess is your problem is more than just money.
If it is only about money then I agree with Sean.
RE: deal with divorce - massagemaggie - 11-20-2012
Are you me?
No just kidding, but I've had to make similar decisions -- while a housewife in another country with two small children.
If you want to chat, I'm happy to talk via messenger or email, but I found a lot of tools over the years to bring me from basically complete powerlessness and despair to a successful small business owner (self employed) who feels confident and empowered in most aspects of life.I feel like it's my buffet.
I'd love to share what worked, talk about the situation if you need to -- like I said, I am also a mother of two boys 5 and 7 and the value my husband placed on my life was only that of someone at home taking care of the children so he can build his career and life. Literally nothing more.
I'd recommend a few other tools and information sources as well -- but yes, Alpha Female has been absolutely brilliant, powerful and life changing for me. It's one of the things I would say is can be instrumental in changing your life to what it is now, to one that YOU are in the driver's seat and looking at your own map. It's so doable. You're in the right place.
Maggie
RE: deal with divorce - Elusive - 11-21-2012
I bid you welcome to our forum, Optom.
As Maggie says "You're in the right place."
As already said, Alpha Female and then Find Your Perfect Job seams to be the way to go.
RE: deal with divorce - Patti - 12-03-2012
Hi optom and welcome! I’m not sure which sub would work best in your situation, although if there was one to kick your husband in the butt and out the door, that’s the one I’d opt for! But I understand that you have some major hurdles to think about and whenever there’s children involved, that makes everything harder.
I’m curious about a few things. You mentioned that he was ok to just keep going along this way. Do you want a sub that allows you to feel ok with the situation as it is? Or do you want one to change it?
If this other woman wasn’t in the picture, would you and/or he consider counseling?
I’m not sure if you’d want to do this but it’s an option of another type. Many moons ago my father in-law was having an affair. When my mother in-law (all four feet five inches of herself) found out, she went to the woman’s husband to let him know what was going on….and that ended that!
RE: deal with divorce - optom - 12-04-2012
(12-03-2012, 03:55 PM)Patti Wrote: Hi optom and welcome! I’m not sure which sub would work best in your situation, although if there was one to kick your husband in the butt and out the door, that’s the one I’d opt for! But I understand that you have some major hurdles to think about and whenever there’s children involved, that makes everything harder.
I’m curious about a few things. You mentioned that he was ok to just keep going along this way. Do you want a sub that allows you to feel ok with the situation as it is? Or do you want one to change it?
If this other woman wasn’t in the picture, would you and/or he consider counseling?
I’m not sure if you’d want to do this but it’s an option of another type. Many moons ago my father in-law was having an affair. When my mother in-law (all four feet five inches of herself) found out, she went to the woman’s husband to let him know what was going on….and that ended that!
Hi Patti, I am not sure counseling would help. When we met he was married did not tell me only told me months later after he split up with his wife. Now he is "friends" with a married women, to be honest I would never trust him again.
It would have been great if there was a sub that I could play for him that would push him to accept that it is over and divorce me. What to do, I am thinking I should do something like AF and then maybe BASE or BAMM so that I can be independent. I would also like to use the new weight loss sub but not sure if it is aimed a really obese people or someone like me that just need to loose 18-20 kilo's.
At the moment I am trying some experimental subs to see what kind of results I get. I got the POSE vol 1 but it did not do anything for me so I think I should make sure that whatever sub I get will really work.
What ever is said and done before I move on I need to improve myself first even if it is just to build my self esteem back up.
RE: deal with divorce - shineon - 10-12-2013
what about try a little Absolute Self Confidence? that encompasses all aspects you're talking about and makes you feel amazing! give yourself a huge boost. good luck matey, sounds like an ordinary situation
RE: deal with divorce - Joronda - 01-19-2014
Just my opinion:-
Absolute Self Confidence for 64-96 days on silent mode while asleep would be a good friend to get you started; then Alpha Female would change your body language to make your hubby begin showing you the respect he once did. A new door of opportunity may open up unexpectedly once you are feeling on top of the world again.
ASC is free and a special gift from Shannon to put some sunshine back in your life.