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+--- Thread: Sean's AM Journal (/Thread-Sean-s-AM-Journal)
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Magnus - 09-30-2012
(09-30-2012, 10:41 PM)Sean Wrote: Is this one of those rough patches?
I would say so. I had a lot of them during AM. Some of the exact same things. Oversleeping, unmotivated, apathetic, cranky, unhappy with life as it stood. Resistance is what it is
I found for me it was worst during stage 2 and stage 5 although I did AM11 so things may have changed in AM5
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Sean - 10-01-2012
This morning, I'm considering what I may be resisting. Does it even matter to know what it is, or should I just let the subs do their job?
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Sean - 10-01-2012
A good friend, for whom I have great respect, said this morning, "Feelings are traitorous indicators." That provided me with some perspective on what I actually did, not what my ego tells me I should have done.
This weekend, I worked out, returned one pair of shoes, bought two more that I had planned to purchase, helped my son get some supplies to better organize his room at his mom's house, started cleaning my room, fixed the remote for my car, and did my laundry.
It is unusual for me to clean my room, and it's likely that this is something I'm resisting doing. Since childhood, I've always been content with a room that was messy as hell. I'm finding this to be less satisfactory lately, and have been feeling driven to clean it. I kept starting and stopping the work, with excuses or diversions. I moved into my room about three months ago, and my old shoes were still in a garbage bag. I've also got 6 boxes that are still inefficiently packed and some baskets that I'm not sure I'll use. I got myself a shoe rack, cleared out the garbage bags, and got my shoes neatly put away. I also picked up some bins to hold things I'm not using daily, such as my winter clothes (they'll come back out in a few months, but I need them out of the way just now.
My car is likewise a mess, and I want to get it cleaned out, if only to be more comfortable for my passengers and me.
This is my internal perfectionism rising again, and it's a cruel mistress. I can never live up to those standards, because there will always be some flaw, or something more I could have done.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Shannon - 10-01-2012
I am having the same experience with cleaning my house and car. It's not about perfectionism. The program is trying to put you where you can have maximum self respect and self esteem, and having a presentable environment is important for that because it speaks to the quality of the man. I am typically not concerned with cleaning, and my house isn't all that great, but on AM 5.0 I have been cleaning a little more than I make messes, so the effect is slow but steady clearing away of clutter, which I am liking. I have to tackle the living room today, and put away some clothes.
I am also finding myself definitely on a journey to dress better. I've bought myself a nice men's watch, some nice shoes and a number of nice shirts and jeans. I'm going to be getting myself some nice dress slacks and belts next, and we'll see how far the transition from "Meh, whatever's comfortable" to "I care about my looks, so I'm going to take the time to dress nicely" goes. If it does what I believe it will, I'll be dressing nicely, the way I have wanted to for a long time now, all the time shortly... which I absolutely love.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Sean - 10-01-2012
That's very interesting, Shannon. I've been looking into dressing better for a couple of weeks. My jeans fit OK, and I'm losing weight, so my old jeans will start fitting again soon, as well. I got some casual brogued wingtips that I think are very sharp, and I'm evaluating everything in my closet. I'm also reading the Masculine Style blog to get tips on dressing well. Not everything he recommends works for me, but I'm benefiting from the majority of it. I want to look very good in a timeless and classy manner.
Quote:They come runnin' just as fast as they can
Coz' every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.
My perfectionism refers to the negativity I had surrounding the fact that I didn't accomplish 10x more this past weekend than I did.
I still have to put away my clothes, too. They're clean, which is most important. I've got a good-sized stack of pants and shorts that I outgrew over the past year, eating poorly and not exercising. I need to put those in a tote and up on the shelf in the closet to get them out of the way.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Shannon - 10-01-2012
I am experiencing the exact same thing with clothes and dress. Timeless, classy and elegant is what I'm going for. This will take me some time, but I will get there.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Benjamin - 10-01-2012
Interesting, I remember during Alpha 2011 at one stage I went on a cleaning spree and spent alot of time cleaning my room and my computer room which I never do. And since then I am not as messy as I used to be. I am still messy but it's not as bad as it was before.
I haven't had the urge for cleaning yet in 5.0 though :Z
And the dressing thing is interesting. I wouldn't mind dressing a bit better but because of my weight I just don't think I will look good anyway so haven't bothered much.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - woceyes - 10-01-2012
Welcome to the forums Sean, even tho i am way late to the party.
on Alpha Male 2010 i ended up buying a lot of new clothes including a blazer jacket and a nice divers watch that looks like its more expensive then it is. So far on AM 5.0 I haven't had the urge yet, but i am not that far into the set either.
As far as cleaning my room and other things i am not as bad as i used to be but i could use some work.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Sean - 10-02-2012
Thanks Woceyes. I think the differences we all notice in the changes we make are due to the fact that we all have different areas to focus on which will increase our self respect. For me, it's dressing well and cleaning up my environment. For others, dressing well is a lesser priority.
Ben, no matter what your weight, dressing well is important, both for you and for attracting women to you. Start off with easy basics: get yourself some good shoes, and a few nice shirts. Big guys usually carry off a guayabera shirt very well, but you be the judge of what works for you. Shannon has mentioned the external reflecting the internal, however in the case of dressing well, sometimes that external can provide a lift for the internal. Try it out, man.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Spiral - 10-02-2012
Dressing well is important but it is not necessary. it may be necessary to attract incredibly stylish women but most women just want a man to keep a clean appearance. I could be wrong.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Sean - 10-02-2012
(10-02-2012, 06:01 AM)Spiral Wrote: Dressing well is important but it is not necessary. it may be necessary to attract incredibly stylish women but most women just want a man to keep a clean appearance. I could be wrong.
Dressing well has different meanings to different people. It can be just making sure that your clothes fit well and complement your physical features. It can also mean wearing very fine clothing that is tailored to you and accessorized very precisely. It can also mean wearing a button up instead of a t-shirt, or wearing chinos instead of jeans.
I'd encourage the guys here who haven't re-evaluated their style since their last graduation to walk into a department store, grab a female or gay sales associate, and ask them to help you find a new look. And then try on everything they recommend. You don't have to buy a damn thing, but you can see some interesting new ways that you might be comfortable and dressed well. You might find that you like one thing, but not another. Or you might find that you're still just a jeans-and-tshirt guy, and there's nothing wrong with that at all.
But why leave those frontiers unexplored? No one is going to ask you to put on a dress.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Shannon - 10-02-2012
I have found that for me, dress directly and profoundly affects me on an emotional level, my self image and my response to the world externally. For me, dressing in jeans and a t-shirt is just a way to be lazy. I don't have to worry about doing anything much with clothes (ironing, hanging up, folding) if I dress that way.
But for me, wearing a set of clothes that reflects my inner feelings about myself is important, because it reflects this to others. Others, like it or not, do judge us based on how we look. Females especially. So for me to dress well makes me feel good about myself, and allows me simultaneously to express my level of self respect, as well as tell the ladies, "Yes, I am someone you want to get to know better, because I am a quality man." - which is important, if you want to not just attract them, but attract the right ones. How you dress will determine which type of woman you attract, because those you attract will naturally resonate to the type of man who dresses as you are dressed.
So if you dress casually all the time, you will not attract the higher quality women who resonate with men dressed as a higher quality man would, according to their expectations, dress.
Primarily, though, I believe a man should dress as befits his personality, and let the chips fall where they may concerning women.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Sean - 10-02-2012
(10-02-2012, 10:44 AM)Shannon Wrote: But for me, wearing a set of clothes that reflects my inner feelings about myself is important, because it reflects this to others. Others, like it or not, do judge us based on how we look. Females especially. So for me to dress well makes me feel good about myself, and allows me simultaneously to express my level of self respect, as well as tell the ladies, "Yes, I am someone you want to get to know better, because I am a quality man." - which is important, if you want to not just attract them, but attract the right ones. How you dress will determine which type of woman you attract, because those you attract will naturally resonate to the type of man who dresses as you are dressed.
I get much the same internal response to dressing well. I my internal self-status meter goes up accordingly. I rarely did this in the past because it felt odd, mostly because my suits don't fit me properly. I'm going to get that fixed in the near future, here. There's an excellent tailor in town, so I'll have him fit the suits to me.
Recently, I got some really nice shoes which are flexible: casual with jeans or chinos, or more formal with a suit. I got good shoes, which fit well and are comfortable. I cringe when I remember my Bostonians, which were mildly uncomfortable when I put them on and pure joy to remove at the end of the day because my feet were really uncomfortable.
So I mix those shoes with my jeans and a button down shirt, and I'm feeling the upgrade. Everything feels easier. Also, many women will look at a man's shoes and judge him by them. If you have some snazzy kicks on, you'll get further along than if you're wearing worn-out running shoes.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Shannon - 10-02-2012
I am told by a female friend who is acting as one of my "fashion consultants" that women usually judge a man by his shoes and watch choices first, and whether his belt color matches the color of his shoes second.
Consequently, gentlemen, always have a nice looking pair of shoes and watch on - and make sure your belt color matches your shoes.
For me, my watch is very important in expressing my personality.